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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think funerals are outrageously expensive?

185 replies

crunchymint · 10/08/2018 14:12

I have been shocked when organising a funeral at how expensive they are. Even a basic cremation with no service costs a £1000. A very ordinary funeral will cost about £3,000. It is a lot of money.

OP posts:
Original poster
crunchymint · 10/08/2018 15:09

The figure of £75 was quoted for cost of direct cremation. It must have been a long time ago as it is way out of date. Basic direct cremation with no service at all will cost you around the £1k mark.

OP posts:
thegreylady · 10/08/2018 15:09

We have a prepaid funeral plan so our kids won’t have to worry 🙂

Seeingadistance · 10/08/2018 15:12

£75 is seriously out of date! Maybe it was a typo.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/08/2018 15:12

They get buried - in what used to be called a paupers grave, which is a collective grave where they put the homeless and unidentified etc.

Lindalee3 · 10/08/2018 15:12

Yeah it was your comment that spurned my post snoopy. I was just waiting for someone to say it. And you were the first who did.

I'm sorry. It was a bit out of order for me to say it, as you never actually said you did it coz you loved him more.

Apologies, and sorry for your loss. Flowers

ChanklyBore · 10/08/2018 15:12

You can’t be dispatched for £75

You really can’t. And you have to be dispatched somehow.

Cremation fees are generally £750-£1000

That’s just the dispatch bit, not a fig else.

NewYearNewMe18 · 10/08/2018 15:12

crunchy

I have just given you a link - and I was wrong - its £35 for a child cremation, £206 for a burial

But I'll give you the 12 month old link again

www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15415416.South-east_London_councils_are_helping_bereaved_parents/

unadventuretime · 10/08/2018 15:13

crunchymint this was in a really cheap part of the country. Sorry to hear it's so much more where you are Sad. Also tbh I'm not sure that 4k included the headstone as they got that done a few months later. Maybe that figure was just for the day.

katseyes7 That's a good idea but do you have a back up if they won't take you? Most medical schools are really strict about what you have to have died of for them to use your body (They want it intact basically so no car crash victims, people with big tumours etc, no big skin ulcers even, and maybe not people who've had a post mortem) and a family member who was at med school said a lot of people leave their bodies to save on funeral costs but the families find they're not actually eligible Confused

Lindalee3 · 10/08/2018 15:13

I mean snoopy, that you were the first who appeared to say 'dad deserved it so we did it' and I just interpreted it wrongly.........

NewYearNewMe18 · 10/08/2018 15:14

www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15415416.South-east_London_councils_are_helping_bereaved_parents/

And I'll pop it in again - its not out of date

Creatureofthenight · 10/08/2018 15:14

Funny how on the wedding threads people are falling over themselves to tell you expensive weddings are tacky and they had a brilliant do for less than £500, but on a funeral thread apparently it’s fine and to be expected that you should spend at least 3 grand.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/08/2018 15:14

Put quite simply, funeral directors charge the sums they do for their side of things because they can - also because it's been arranged so there's little difference between them cost-wise

Certainly there are much cheaper ways to do some of it, but so few folk opt for these that it makes hardly any difference

ItWentInMyEye · 10/08/2018 15:15

I discussed this with MIL last night actually! Her and FIL have recently planned and paid for GMIL's funeral for future use, and it has encouraged them to do the same for themselves. I will also do this when I'm older, as my children might not have thousands of pounds to spare. It just seems sensible to me.

diddl · 10/08/2018 15:15

"No point in my children being thousands of pounds worse off because of silly pointless rituals. "

So why not put money aside for something basic & if they want to add more they can?

unadventuretime · 10/08/2018 15:15

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 isn't cremation cheaper? My DH's grandparents were very hard up and they were cremated with their ashes scattered at a communal plot at a council cemetery. I'm not sure who paid for it but I doubt they or their children could have paid for a funeral Sad

Snoopychildminder · 10/08/2018 15:15

lindalee3 not at all- after re reading it does come across like that!! I would hate to offend!! Flowers

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/08/2018 15:17

Cremation is cheaper but I don't think it's an option for a "paupers funeral". Might have changed now though.

NewYearNewMe18 · 10/08/2018 15:19

Dated 17 July 2017

The council has waived the fees for children up to and including 17 years old.

The burial fee for six to 16-year-olds was previously £206 and the cremation fee was £35 for six to 17-year-olds.

The decision was made by the Eltham joint committee, composed of representatives from Bexley, Dartford and Greenwich councils.

Cremation fees will not have to be paid in all three boroughs while the additional step of waiving burial fees was made by Greenwich Council.

Councillor Jackie Smith, cabinet member for community safety and environment, said: “The waiving of these fees will remove a financial burden from families already facing an emotional burden and the heartache of losing a child.

“I welcome the cooperative approach taken by the Eltham Joint Crematorium in ensuring that the waiving of cremation fees will also apply to residents in the boroughs of Bexley and Dartford too.”

KlutzyDraconequus · 10/08/2018 15:21

My dad took ill suddenly. On his death bed, wasting away from the effects of brain tumour, his biggest concern wasn't missing us, ornus missing him, it was him burdening us with the expense of
"Getting rid of the rotting meat"

Imagine being days from.death and you're biggest worry and concern is leaving your children with a massive bill. Made his last days on earth fucking horrific for him.

I shall be planning and paying for my own and there will be in structuring to follow them to the absolute letter.

Once a person's dead, the person has gone, the carcass is little more than meat to be rid of. Fanfares and ceremony are a waste of time and money and is all geared around a massive business... Like weddings.. pointless and expensive.

titchy · 10/08/2018 15:21

AFAIK you can refuse to deal with the entire thing, in which case the local authority will dispose of the deceased, recouping the money from the estate. It'll be a cremation - cheaper.

Original poster
crunchymint · 10/08/2018 15:22

I am shocked that in a part of London, it is cheaper than where I live which has an average wage way below the national average. But I guess it is because the council has put up costs. The £1k for direct cremation does not include scattering of ashes or anything beyond the disposal of the body through cremation.
I don't actually care if getting lots of extras such as catering and flowers makes a funeral expensive, these are all optional extras. But when the basic cost is at least £1k, any funeral is not going to be cheap.
In comparison the basic cost of marriage with no service is only about £110.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 10/08/2018 15:24

That’s for a child, NewYear

Cremation in Greenwich for an adult is £687 cheapest.

Original poster
crunchymint · 10/08/2018 15:25

titchy Here the council will do a paupers funeral if there is no estate and no family they can pressure into picking up the cost. Basically a direct cremation.

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 10/08/2018 15:27

@NewYearNewMe18 You're posting the fee for a child cremation. Adult cremation in that area is £650.