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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids accidentally 'poisoned'...

129 replies

staceyflack · 10/08/2018 09:59

Aibu to be really concerned that ex's GF fed children raw elderberries in a smoothie. Her child was sick (as was she)... mine has had tummy ache for 2 days. It was a mistake of course... but still.

OP posts:
diddl · 10/08/2018 11:12

Well I'll join others on the stupid bench!

Had no idea.

Have never eaten them or been tempted to though.

FlatPackFurnitureCompAnyone · 10/08/2018 11:12

If it’s cyanide in them, then that makes some people sick but not others. Obviously it’s never good to eat in large quantities anyway! It doesn’t make me sick, and I used to enjoy scoffing bags of a certain type of raw green beans (I don’t think we have them in the UK?). Then my colleague had some and has apparently never been so sick in her life, she was on the verge of going to A&E. Turned out that they contain cyanide when raw and it makes many/most people violently ill. But not me Blush

AlonsoTigerHeart · 10/08/2018 11:13

What do you want from her exactly?

Twombly · 10/08/2018 11:14

Thanks @CaveyLass. And well done with your links. Wink

I wonder with raw elderberries whether it's a matter of some people lacking a particular digestive enzyme, as we seem quite clearly divided into people who can eat them without problem and people who can't.

FlatPackFurnitureCompAnyone · 10/08/2018 11:19

twombly it’s amygdalin I believe which essentially forms cyanide. I think it makes some people sick and others not, but it’s poisonous to all.

Enb76 · 10/08/2018 11:21

I can eat them without issue but also use them for cordial, jam etc...

Elderberry wine is fantastic and very port like.

Bezm · 10/08/2018 11:22

What do elderberries actually look like? Are they the berries from elder Flowers?

Kool4katz · 10/08/2018 11:24

@CavyLass. Thank you for the recipe and info. Very helpful. I'm definitely going to try making this. Do you have to keep the bottles in the fridge whilst unopened or will they be ok in a cool cupboard?

Original poster
staceyflack · 10/08/2018 11:24

Why is it that some people are horrible on mumsnet? I've not made a drama... i'm having a discussion ffs. I've said my main concern is the attitude - i've actually made elderberry stuff my self! But... they are 'out there' (even more than me)... think eating roadkill and mung bean fasts, letting 7 yr olds watch age 15 films.. etc. This is not the first time i've questioned their parenting. I'm just trying to keep my kids safe... hope that's ok with everyone.... (lol).

OP posts:
ArmySal · 10/08/2018 11:25

Is Bertrand still furiously poring over those demanded for links? Grin

Good recipe Cavey, I’ll try that.

Topsyshair · 10/08/2018 11:31

I didn't know this, but then I've never even seen an elderberry.

Can you buy them from the shop?

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 10/08/2018 11:31

"Isn't the rule that if you don't know whether or not a berry is poisonous you assume it is?"

But that's the thing, having eaten raw elderberries as a kid I thought I knew they weren't poisonous. Assume the OP's ex's GF thought the same seeing as she gave them to her own child as well as herself.

OP I think YABU to be really concerned - it was an honest mistake not the GF being reckless. There are clearly a lot of other people who don't know about not eating raw elderberries and it's an easy mistake to make when there are a variety of edible elderberry products available and many people have tried them raw as kids. Even if ex is minimising what do you actually want him to do? It's not like they'll be doing it again. I bet if a family member you liked and were close to made the same mistake you'd not be so worried, you're just projecting your dislike for your ex.

mumsastudent · 10/08/2018 11:32

www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00000311.htm the leaves etc are highly toxic (as are rhubarb, potatoes, tomatoes!)but the berries make you nauseous but no long term problem - I didn't know this worth a google! todays education from mumsnet!!

Original poster
staceyflack · 10/08/2018 11:35

See above... acatsnothelpwiththat. Yes, i agree no need to be 'really' concerned. But... i think a bit concerned is fair do's.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 10/08/2018 11:38

i used to eat them as a child. Was never ill from it

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/08/2018 11:50

Stacey
You've done a positive thing with this thread as it's clear there were many of us who had no idea elderberries had to be cooked - me included.

I would have made the same mistake

diddl · 10/08/2018 11:50

"But that's the thing, having eaten raw elderberries as a kid I thought I knew they weren't poisonous."

So someone told you that they weren't otherwise you wouldn't have eaten them?

Lucisky · 10/08/2018 11:50

They make a wonderful jelly as well, used in place of redcurrant with roast meats.

Cindie943811A · 10/08/2018 11:51

Thank you OP, I had no idea the raw berries shouldn’t be eaten. I’ve never been tempted but know they are edible in medicine and cordials. For what it’s worth I dosed my DD then aged about 6 on pharmacy purchased anti-viral when she started to show symptoms of flu (there was an epidemic and we’d all were at various stages) and she miraculously recovered after 24 hours in bed. So always worth a try for colds and flu but very expensive.
OP I don’t feel you are BU to expect more contrition from the GF but given what you have told us about previous concerns I don’t think you are ever likely to get a reasonable response. Must be a constant concern for you when your DC visit

MissContrary · 10/08/2018 11:51

Judging from the amount of others that had no idea I'd say yabu.

Topsyshair · 10/08/2018 11:53

I can't believe that people as children picked and ate random berries.

I was always told never to pick any berries and eat them incase they were poisonous, it would be easy for a child to mistake a harmless berry with a toxic one.

Hopeandeggs · 10/08/2018 11:53

No idea here either!

MirandaWest · 10/08/2018 11:53

I had no idea you shouldn’t eat raw elderberries.

Menolly · 10/08/2018 11:56

I've eaten raw elderberries for years, I pick them to make wine and crumbles and always try a couple to check they are ripe enough, my grandmother did it and no one ever told me not to!

I suspect she has learned her lesson.

BertrandRussell · 10/08/2018 11:56

"Is Bertrand still furiously poring over those demanded for links?"
No. Just checked to see if they were the ones I thought they would be. The "trials" were flawed, easy to find explanations of the way they were flawed if anyone's interested. Incidentally- always view with care a paper published in a journal of alternative and complementary medicine- it may not be as unbiased as it should be.

But anyway. Back to the recipes. I always find elderberries too tannin-y when made into drinks. The flowers are obviously delicious.