Text me when you get there?

[Darknessinthevalley]

Tiny amount of background.
I'm early 20's, moved away from home at 17, I haven't lived within 100 miles of my hometown since then. Occasionally, DH and I will travel four or so hours to visit his family, and we don't drive so we almost always get a coach (no prizes for guessing where I am right now!).
If I mention to either of my (divorced) parents, they'll request that I text them when I get there. They don't always know that I'm going, and obviously they don't know when I go out, or go to stay with friends, so I find it odd that they ask for a text on these occasions.
It's a small thing to remember, but I do get snapped at when I forget, which in the mess of getting into the house and dumping bags/hugging in laws etc, I often do.
It's such a minor thing in the scheme of things, but AIBU to think this a little strange? Do you do this with your adult kids?
Just to clarify completely, I don't live at home, I haven't for years now, so they rarely know my whereabouts anyway.

Oh just do it. It's a little thing - I'm nearly 40 and my parents want me to let them know I've arrived safely everywhere I go.

I think the urgent to parent doesn’t go with age, but it’s strange they still do it when you don’t live together anymore, and you live an independent life with your DH. Is this the only thing they do like this, or are they like that in other areas too?

Just to clarify I don't mean if I've been shopping etc I mean if I've been anywhere far away!

Would it rally hurt to just text them? Draft the text ready if you have to then click send. Done.

I always try to remember, I don't have an issue with it! It just seems strange that I could roll back from a night out at 4am and they'd have no idea, sometimes not even in the same timezone, but if they know, they must know I've arrived safely. I do text them when I remember, but it seems odd.

I know what you mean, it's probably irrational on their part but in a way it's just what some parents do to show they care about you. It doesn't matter how old you are. My dh has to do this for his Mum, I think it's quite sweet really and it makes her happy, I can see it still happening when he is 50!

It's not at all unusual for parents to want to be reassured their child has 'landed' safely, even when they have long since flown the nest.

My son flies all over the world and drives or travels throughout the uk for his work; I don't say much but my husband always says to him, "Let us know when you get there", and he does. He has long since left home.

They are only showing they care.

I (still!) have to do this for my parents! Top tip- draft the text 10 mins before you get off the coach/plane/train and hit send when you put your phone in your bag and gather your things to get off. Job done (slightly early!) and before all the madness of luggage, greeting relatives etc starts.

I'm 44 and still do it!

Oh just do it.

Please

My children both live away at uni so for the most part I don't know what they are doing or when they get home (I do ask for a text once a day just so that I know they are ok. Not a lengthy one, even just "I'm ok" will do) but when they are back at home I am always awake until they get in after a night out.

It is irrational I know but if I don't know I don't worry.

I think its ridiculous and you should knock it on the head. Ask them why they do it. Is it habit, or they can't think of anything else to say in response to you visiting your inlaws? It's NOT the same as you doing an unusual, noteworthy, or potentially more risky journey than usual, like a flight somewhere abroad or a convoluted trip to somewhere you haven't been before. When travelling to stay with someone, I find it a real mental strain to remember to contact someone else, who has nothing to do with that trip. I also don't want to be fiddling with my phone when I've just arrived somewhere. If they persist, suggest you say "no I won't contact you when I've just arrived as I'll be busy, I'll call you the next day" (or whatever).

I've surprised myself how strongly I feel about this - feeling humbuggy due to restless baby keeping me awake

My kids are 24 and 25 and they can do what they want BUT if I know they are driving a long way, having a long train journey or flight I always ask that they text when they get there. I don't expect it the moment they arrive, just when it's convenient.
When we travel they ask the same of us, I thought it was just a normal thing.

Parents worry! Shows they love you and think of you.

I think I just can't decide whether it is sweet or not. I speak to my parents maybe once it twice a month, often they only know I've made this journey because my MIL has posted something on social media, and it doesn't bother them. Obviously I'll keep it up if it makes them happy, but it's just weird to me 😊

I think it’s pathetic.

My DM always asks me to text to let her know I've caught the train, when I'm home safe after a long journey or when I have returned from traveling abroad, and I ask the same from her. It's peace of mind

Yep, all of my siblings and i have long since flown the nest, indeed live at least an hour away from our parents. They really wouldnt know what we did on a day to day level.

As soon as we go some where different, a big journey, they want to know we're there and safe.

Shes texted me saying safe journey before setting off and shes not impaintant she quite often realises that we can be arriving, or whatever. She just likes to know we're all safe

For the most part it is just a way of saying they worry about you still and want you to respect that by texting them.
Learning not to worry is hard work and we are bad at it.

I do this for my sis.
Its just a text. No biggie.
I could easily get mowed down posting a letter near home.

Its the distance. Makes the separation more real.

I don't expect my 17yo to text me when she gets to boarding school even though it's a 5-6 hour journey. I know she's busy when she arrives. I generally assume someone would let me know if anything awful had happened.

We used to have to give my nan "3 rings" to let her know we had gotten home safely

I'm 53 my mum still asks me to text her when I drive home from her house (about an hour). Travel the world on business and she never says a thing :) I always text her though if she asks.

I lived abroad for a few years, alone, spoke to my parents maybe once a month or so. I traveled between countries, worked all over the place, started and ended a relationship while there. Yet now I've moved within a few miles of my parents suddenly they do this! They seem to worry about only the things they know, me taking a taxi 3 miles home from theirs and I need to inform them of every step yet when I told them I'd traveled overnight alone by train between European countries to stay in a complete strangers house overnight for an interview they just asked if the train server food!Out of sight, out of 'worry-zone' I think.

However.... I find myself doing this now and I hate myself for it! My sister, 1 year younger, works near me so either walks home or walks to me to chat maybe a drink then walks home. On the days she sees me I ask her to text when she gets home but it makes no sense! She walks the same route 6 days a week just the days I see her I worry more. It is so weird and I need to stop, but I see how my parents do it too.

Definitely YANBU. I'm late 20s and live in Asia. My mum has no idea what I'm doing most of the time (and due to timezones is asleep for a lot of it) so yes, I do find it annoying when I'm back in the UK to have to text when I've arrived somewhere. It's not part of my normal routine, and I hate being made to feel guilty for forgetting - surely if she was that arsed about it she would text me to check? It's much easier to reply 'yes all fine' to a text when it comes in than to remember to send a random text hours after it's been asked for.