Text me when you get there?

[Darknessinthevalley]

Tiny amount of background.
I'm early 20's, moved away from home at 17, I haven't lived within 100 miles of my hometown since then. Occasionally, DH and I will travel four or so hours to visit his family, and we don't drive so we almost always get a coach (no prizes for guessing where I am right now!).
If I mention to either of my (divorced) parents, they'll request that I text them when I get there. They don't always know that I'm going, and obviously they don't know when I go out, or go to stay with friends, so I find it odd that they ask for a text on these occasions.
It's a small thing to remember, but I do get snapped at when I forget, which in the mess of getting into the house and dumping bags/hugging in laws etc, I often do.
It's such a minor thing in the scheme of things, but AIBU to think this a little strange? Do you do this with your adult kids?
Just to clarify completely, I don't live at home, I haven't for years now, so they rarely know my whereabouts anyway.

I still do it, a quick text to reassure them, and I use to do ‘three rings’ to my nan too. It’s a tiny little thing that means a lot to them.
Plus it’s reassuring knowing that if I have a car accident when driving at night, I’m not going to be lying trapped in my car for days until discovered. (That’s the extreme situation obviously)

I do this with DD who is 18 but she still lives at home but stays overnight and holidays a lot with friends and boyfriend. It isn't that I don't think she can't look after herself as she is very sensible, but I'm still her mum and want to be sure she is safe.

Not sure what I will feel like when she moves out but I suspect that if I know she has a long journey I will feel uncomfortable until I know she has safely arrived. Not really rational just mum instinct.

I think DD is secretly glad I worry a bit as she knows I care. My DM was so determined not to interfere that she never checked up on me. I had just moved out to start my first job in London at the time of the Kings Cross underground fire. My flat mate's DM was straight on the phone desperate to find out if she was ok but nothing from my DM. I eventually rang her to let her know I hadn't been involved in it and she couldn't understand why I had rung she wasn't worried at all

I text my mum and she texts me. Obviously by every place we go, but when we're going home, or going somewhere special. I texted her when I landed on holiday and she let me know when she arrived on hers. My DD texts when she gets home from mine, but not every time she gets home or goes out.

It depends how often they're asking you to do it really.

Lol OP. I can see that it's a bit of a pain! But it's cos they care and are having a little worry as they know you are on a journey. It doesn't stop once you hit 18.

I live happily & independently in my 40s with my children hundreds of miles away from my parents. But if I mention I'm driving somewhere a few hours away, they ask me to text to let them know I'm safe when we arrive. I usually remember at some point, sometimes hours, after we've arrived, or Mum texts me to ask "good journey?"

Funnily enough, my parents travel a lot to different countries and around UK, but if they tell me near the time, I'll say text me when you get there so I know you've arrived safely (to a 74 and 80 year old!). Especially if they are driving home from mine. Eeek! I also say same to my 20 year old god daughter who is at uni, when she's been visiting me and driving back to digs (half hour away) late at night ("text when you're home safely"). I'm her nearest family to her uni.

Oh God, I've just realised I also do it to my 40 year old friends & they me, if we've been together before they leave. Anyone that's on their own in car or on bus.

For me, what I don't know doesn't worry me but I Bloomington well will worry about loved ones.

I don't expect an immediate response as soon as they arrive from adults and will so one follow up text and a telephone call reasonable time next morning if I haven't heard. (after checking traffic reports for any accidents on journey they took!! 😆🙊)

Nah, I'm the same as you but message my mum when I'm at the station, on the train, if delayed , when I'm there.
Is there a different reason they're irritating you ?

I do text them when I remember, but it seems odd.

If you ever have DC, you'll get to realise it isn't odd. It's a nice thing to have someone in your life who cares, but you may not see it that way. If it doesn't happen in the future, you may find you miss it.

My MIL wants this too esp when we go away . Even when the holiday was a shorter distance than a work site visit once. Ridiculous behaviour . A lot do with control and attention seeking so that everything is all about her.

Wow I am amazed at how many people do this. I consider myself to have a really close relationship with my parents and they’ve never asked me to do this. I’d never ask it of my DC either as people spend enough time texting as it is. Statistically shorter trips cause the most travel accidents anyway. Agree that this kind of irrationality is more anxiety provoking!

@Trampire that actually made me cry. I can imagine my dad saying the same. What lovely last words.

I still do this at 41 and my mum has to do 3 rings to her mum - my mum is in her mid 70s. They just worry. My brother lives far away and is all over the place for work on trips my parents don't always know about but if they've been up to us as a family she likes him to text when they get home safely, and when they get back from hols etc.

I usually text when we are still in the car (or DH does if I'm driving) but arriving in the outskirts of a place, then you don't forget when you get caught up in the hugging etc.

I'm 53 and my parents always text me to let me know they've arrived on holidays or home. They also expect the same from me. I just do it, despite finding it a bit irritating.

Interestingly, my ds19 text me when he landed in France last year without any prompting.

You wouldn’t understand op because you arnt a parent.

Just do it.

I have 5 grown up kids and was cross yesterday that dd didn’t text to tell me she had got to a festival. She did later after I texted her.

Be thankful they care.

I'd just do it. I'm 37 and my mum would still tell me to mind the road when I was going out. She died last year and it's a bit of a shame that no one does that anymore.

My parents do this if I'm going a way (my grandparents also used to do it to my Dad although before they had mobiles it was 3 rings on the landline). I don't live with them but still see them most days. It's a little annoying because I'm a grown woman but at the same time it comes from a good place and shows they care. I'd much rather that than parents who don't care.

Being a single parent when DD was little they also used to ring me every night to make sure I was ok, hadn't fallen down the stairs or anything, they stopped once she was old enough to get help if needed. Again annoying but from a sensible and caring place.

So one more time, just to be clear, I do indeed text them when I remember !
I would have to text them both, as they're divorced and don't really speak, and as one poster raised it, my in laws live no where near my home town, so it's not an issue with that.
I certainly don't think they're pathetic or irritating, although I don't like the guilt trip if I forget.
I also get the surprise that I don't talk to my parents much, but ultimately I don't think you understand why someone has low contact with their parents unless you have to yourself. Without going into it too much, I have very valid reasons for distancing myself from my mum and dad, and it helps maintain my own mental health.

My parents make me do it when I get off the last bus after being in town with them (approx. 10pm), completely ignoring that I often work until 11pm and walk past that same bus stop on the way home.

Although, I do it on a night out with friends, whoever is last out of the taxi has to text me when they get home.

To be honest it really isn't a big deal, it's just a quirky thing some parents do. Funny enough DP's brother asked us to do it when we left his house. He lives about 3 hours away and we hardly ever see him. Obviously we didn't text quick enough because he rang us about 10 mins after we got back. I just put it down to ' one of those things!'

Texting them both isn't a hassle either, just one text with two recipients on and a generic message.'Hi, only me" I'm back, love you xx' would cover it. You can keep that message and all you have to do every time is press send and both parents will get it.

I always let my dad know I’ve landed when flying

And email nightly - mum died 4yrs ago so he’s on his own

And let df know Ive arrived when at work - work nights

I think it's normal my great aunt is 91 and my mum 70 and her aunt asks her to ring every time she gets home - they are just showing concern! I also text my parents when I get in from being at theirs

Yep. Always. Today after mum discovered we were driving 60 miles to go away for the weekend. I'm 40 😆👍🏼

As others say, half of the time she doesn't know where we are, for work or for play but she says what she doesn't know doesn't hurt her! When I mention the need to check in like this, she says well you'll always be my baby and I'll always worry. Ahhh