So a relatively longish story made very short.
Met a really nice lady on-line around February time, we really hit it off. It was my first relationship since my divorce and there was about 30 miles in distance between us. It was lovely to begin with but as I found the late night 2 hour phone calls and early morning “hello” phone calls a bit much things started to get a little strained, although I did really, really like her. We were very attracted to each other and quite compatible but I’d always get annoyed that she wouldn’t let me sleep or if she did, she’d wake me up early. I Co-Parent and really appreciate my sleep when I can get it. We went away for a weekend together and ended up falling out. It was probably my fault we fell out and receiving a face time call in the Restaurant from my DS didn’t really help matters. We decided to go our separate ways. No real harm done.
About a month later I get a message out of the blue and lo and behold we started seeing each other again, we even met each other’s kids (although, under the pretence we were just work friends) Things then got a bit heavy, she’d say things like “you know I’m going to marry you, don’t you” and that she loved me. Well, as soon as I realised it was getting serious I did what every immature & cowardly bloke does…I self-sabotaged the relationship and made issues when there wasn’t any and just basically buggered the whole thing up deluded in the self-knowledge that I’d prefer to be single again.
About a month later I contacted her to say I was sorry. She gave me a deserved mouthful and told me quite rightly to sling my hook.
Last week I messaged her to tell her I was sorry and wanted to speak face to face to explain myself.
She told me was seeing someone else and not to bother her again. I promised I wouldn’t. I may be an immature coward but I have some dignity and respect.
On Monday she messaged me telling me she was willing to hear what I had to say. So I told her. She still wasn’t interested. I told her I was glad she was happy.
So, I’m finally getting to the point here. Quite by random I was in a record shop yesterday and there was a CD single in there of a song that has a special meaning between us. I’ve brought it. I honestly wasn’t looking for it, it was just there in front of me (the same song played on the bloody radio on the way hone) I miss her so much it hurts, I know that’s a cliché, but it’s true. I’m in love with her.
Would it be wrong to send her the CD next month for her birthday or would I again be guilty of wankerish behaviour?
At the time of writing I think I’m going to send it.