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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be furious that DP and DS got driven out of a baby changing room by a group of rude obnoxious women?

88 replies

bewilderbeast · 02/06/2007 16:32

Just spoken to DP he had taken DH into town for the day to buy me a birthday present and let me get on with the DIY at home in peace. He took DS into the boots baby changing room (note baby changing room not mother and baby room). There was a queue for the three changing mats. Apparently they were all having a laugh and chat when he walked in but went silent as soon as they saw him and kept staring unkindly at him and ds. Eventually he said "come on ds we're obviously not welcome here" and left to take ds somewhere else to change him. I am fking furious. why can't people accept that its nice that fathers take an active roll in their kids lives rather than being suspicious of their motives. I am so angry right now. Do we need dad and baby changing rooms and mother and baby changing rooms? Why can't we all just get on and accept other people. It was their first trip out together alone and I am so sad for him that he was made to feel like this and his day was spoilt by these nasty bit*hes. sorry its a bit of a long rant

OP posts:

fireflyfairy2 · 02/06/2007 16:36

The world is being over run by hysterical women who view all men as potential peadophiles.

I feel sorry for all the men who try to do this I remember a mother glaring as dh changed dd's nappy in a Mothercare changing room.. I was knackered, I sat in the chair & rested whilst she glared at dh

kittypants · 02/06/2007 16:37

thats horrible,your poor dp!

Desiderata · 02/06/2007 16:37

YANBU.

I'd feel the same as you.

And no doubt they bang on about womens' rights at every available opportunity, without extending the same rights to men!

Pixiefish · 02/06/2007 16:37

Poor dh. So sorry this has happened to him

MrsBigD · 02/06/2007 16:38

oh your poor dh That's just so sad. DH so far has had not negative experience in changing rooms however he generally changes ds wherever i.e. park bench, park green etc. . The only time I could semi-understand women haunting a man out of the baby changing room is when, like in one M&S it's also set up with comfy chairs for feeding baby. Still no reason to be hostile though. Hope his next outing will be better and that your birthday otherwise went well

compo · 02/06/2007 16:39

Could it have been he was being a bit paranoid though?
Maybe he felt self conscious.
Sometimes when someone new coes into a room people do stop talking... it doesn't necessarily have to be malicious.

Original poster

bewilderbeast · 02/06/2007 16:41

he wasn't being paranoid, he will usually stick out just about anything but apparently they weren't jsut quiet they were all staring at him and glareing. Now usually in my experience when people go quiet when you walk in a room they don;t stare at you they looka away. It was the stareing in an unfriendly manner that made him leave

OP posts:

Original poster

bewilderbeast · 02/06/2007 17:49

apparently he stuck it out for 5 minutes before walking out.

OP posts:

MamaG · 02/06/2007 17:54

Silly bitches. I bet they maon that their DPs don't help out much

bagpuss · 02/06/2007 17:59

TBH I am surprised at this. I remember when ds2 was very new and needed changing while we were at John Lewis. While I was changing him a new dad came in with his baby and started using the mat next to ours. It would never have occurred to me to think it at all odd that he was using the room. Having said that he was just about the only man I have ever seen using these facilities which I think is a shame. The women your dp encountered were IMO very odd to behave like that. I feel very for your dp.

meto · 02/06/2007 18:00

how mean were they??

when DH and I took DS into mothercare's area there was a dad feeding his LO - my exact words to DH were see other men feed their children!

end of the day we're all parents together arn't we?

Nightynight · 02/06/2007 18:01

that wasnt very nice. wish I had been there to have a rant about it being a PARENT and child room!

meto · 02/06/2007 18:01

(btw I also smiled at the man before i'm accused of being mean to him - I didn't mean mean to him ment mean to DH! lol)

bookthief · 02/06/2007 18:04

I've come across lots of men changing their babies & toddlers. At weekends it's probably 50:50. These women were weirdos.

DominiConnor · 02/06/2007 18:38

Such things are pretty rare, I'm an "active" father, and I don't think I've ever had any attempt to stare me out of a "parent" facility.

Must be said that some people interpret my general demeanour as "trouble maker", and this may deter such impoliteness.
If I was being stared out, it must be said that I would ask in a clear, slightly too loud voice what their problem was.
I might justify my response by asking who is next ?
What about people who are more easily intimidated than 14 stone of truculent bloke ?

Is the "wrong sort of mother" next ?
Possibly an obvious asylum seeker ? Maybe a woman in daft Moslem gear ?

Ceolas · 02/06/2007 18:41

Unless I was a very new first time mother struggling with breastfeeding, I wouldn't even notice a man in a baby changing room.

GirlySquare · 02/06/2007 18:41

YANBU - my dp got glaring and staring the other week at a mummy and daddy baby change, he was surprised at the mums but too stubborn to be frozen out plus dd had a seriously stinky poo!

beckybrastraps · 02/06/2007 18:43

LOL at DC the trouble maker!

Surely not?

Peachy · 02/06/2007 18:46

I never understand these things- OK maybe in 1973 when my Dad proudly was the only man he knew to push me around town in my pram, but in 2007?? FGS

Only this day I had cause to mutter to dh that it was a shame he couldnt bath ds3 ( technically too old for baby bath but Sn so needed one) as the only one was in the Ladies Shower Block )just got back from camping).

Fortunately I also have a Dh who is, and always has been, involved with the kids, but is rude enough to really not give a damn about this sort of thing- they could be glueing a sign saying get out to him and he would continue to ignore it LOL!

DC troublemaker? Surely not!

Peachy · 02/06/2007 18:46

becky x posts LOL!

theUrbanDryad · 02/06/2007 22:40

there have been a couple of times when i've sent dh off to change ds and he's come back saying "The changing bit is in the ladies' loos."

sohappyicouldcry · 02/06/2007 22:54

Think we have a problem with this sort of thing in the uk. Pompous, oldfashioned attitudes....

DH has a real problem if he goes out with DD with his mate for a meal to the pub etc, as the changing bits are more often than not in the ladies' loos.

Time for separate changing areas for BOTH genders to change and feed their LO's.

sleepycat · 02/06/2007 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sohappyicouldcry · 02/06/2007 22:55

Sorry, when I say separate areas for both genders...... I meant that there should be ONE area for changing that should be separate from either loos and should be for anyone to use.

Aitch · 02/06/2007 22:58

but why? i don't understand the OP. why did they take longer than 5 mins to change their kids? why would they have been glaring? it doesn't make any sense... no-one spends any longer in a baby changing area than is strictly necessary.

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