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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious that DP and DS got driven out of a baby changing room by a group of rude obnoxious women?

88 replies

bewilderbeast · 02/06/2007 16:32

Just spoken to DP he had taken DH into town for the day to buy me a birthday present and let me get on with the DIY at home in peace. He took DS into the boots baby changing room (note baby changing room not mother and baby room). There was a queue for the three changing mats. Apparently they were all having a laugh and chat when he walked in but went silent as soon as they saw him and kept staring unkindly at him and ds. Eventually he said "come on ds we're obviously not welcome here" and left to take ds somewhere else to change him. I am fking furious. why can't people accept that its nice that fathers take an active roll in their kids lives rather than being suspicious of their motives. I am so angry right now. Do we need dad and baby changing rooms and mother and baby changing rooms? Why can't we all just get on and accept other people. It was their first trip out together alone and I am so sad for him that he was made to feel like this and his day was spoilt by these nasty bit*hes. sorry its a bit of a long rant

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:24

Actually, I do feel a bit like this when I go into our local hardware shop. Although they don't glower, they look at me like I'm the entertainment and wait for me to say something daft...

Of course, it may all be in my head

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:25

but you don't exactly have a 'local' changing bog, do you? anyway, i'm with you tnog, i think he's imagined most of it because he wasn't feeling confident in the first place. and if we're right, bewilder, then you spouting off and being angry isn't likely to encourage him to do it again, which is Not What You Want.

Quootiepie · 03/06/2007 15:25

your poor DP, how people can be some judgemental is beyond me. You can't win really, god knows how men decide whether to take a girl to the loo in the womens, or into the mens, just for fear of sick minded individuals. Same with male nursery nurses and childminders, they always have to prove themselves and offer explaination.

unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:26

Aitch, I can imagine him feeling uncomfortable, thinking the women were glaring at him.

I can also imagine a group of women making him feel uncomfortable, by glaring at him.

I don't know, I wasn't there, but I can imagine both scenarios.

Original poster
bewilderbeast · 03/06/2007 15:27

actually aitch I haven;t said anything to him exactly for that reason. He is an extremely good and very involved dad. I vented my frustration on here instead, like we all do sometimes!

OP posts:
Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:27

lol, goodness. it seems that they thought he was a paedophile... can't you all see how unlikely that is? a dad with a baby = a child rapist? is that what springs to your minds?

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:27

God yes. You have to build him up. Get in there DH! Strike a blow for fathers. Don't let the coven win.

etc.

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:28

why would a group of women glare at him, unkownrebel? seriously? or are you going along with the sock-minded individuals line of thinking?

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:28

lol at sock-minded individuals...

misdee · 03/06/2007 15:28

in all liklihood, your dp walked in and interrupted a conversation slagging men off or about mooncups between a group of women who knew each other.

dh changed laods of nappies with dd1+2, not with dd3 though, so unless baby changing changed betwteen 2002-2005, i honestly dont get this.

Quootiepie · 03/06/2007 15:29

pants, must preview.

TnOgu · 03/06/2007 15:30

I need to get my mammy on here

She could have her own section

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:30

Perhaps he's building up his back story for why changing will be your responsibility from now on

Quootiepie · 03/06/2007 15:30

no, I did, I didn't say sock Read wrong post.

TnOgu · 03/06/2007 15:31
Grin
unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:32

I can see how likely it might be.

I don't think they necessarily thought he was a paedophile, (and no, it's not what springs to mind) but there are still some areas where it would be quite a culture shock for a bloke to change a nappy (yes, even in the 21st century).

And erm, sock-minded???

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:38

but even if it is a culture shock, why would they glower at him and 'drive him out'? i really don't understand. what area of the country is it anyway? i live in scotland, large parts of here think it's still 1975, but that wouldn't stop dh from changing dd's nappy if she needed it...

Pan · 03/06/2007 15:40

sock-minded...means you are in two minds, but they are both fluffy and a bit wooley.

unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:42

Oh, I agree he allowed himself to be "driven out", but I can still imagine a group of women glaring at him and making him uncomfortable. (I can also imagine him feeling uncomfortable, like I said, I wasn't there.)

unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:42

pml Pan.

handlemecarefully · 03/06/2007 15:42

Sorry but I am a bit about all of this. None of these women actually said anything to your dh. Think he may have misinterpreted what was going on.

ProfYaffle · 03/06/2007 15:43

I asked my dh how he'd feel about being stared at by women in a baby changing room. He said he'd assume they fancied him and it wouldn't occur to him to leave

unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:44

DH would never have left - he'd have smiled sweetly at them and carried on.

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:45

DH would be so busy being a demonstrative dad that he wouldn't notice. He just assumes all women are charmed by the sight of a man who is comfortable around nappies

Pan · 03/06/2007 15:47

Oh he is sooo right becky.....such a babe magnet factor...dd is 7 y.o. and is heartily sick of me shoving BIG nappies on her, so I can be admired, and perhaps even cop off...I am so ruthless!!