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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder when it's acceptable to let a 3 year old play out unsupervised

94 replies

ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 19:12

Very small cul de sac. Albeit with lots of cars parked on the pavements. Just turned, not remotely sensible, 3 yo. Infant school aged brother out with him. Also not mature for his age. No adults sat out supervising. I'm concerned but not sure if I should be...

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 08/08/2018 19:13

It’s not ever okay age 3 to be out playing unsupervised. Not sure there is much you can do though sadly.

HushabyeMountainGoat · 08/08/2018 19:14

I would think that was too young as well. Not sure how i would approach it though

SoyDora · 08/08/2018 19:14

This happened on a street I used to live on. 3 year old bombing up and down the road on his ride on, no supervision except his primary aged brother who just used to disappear with his friends. He’d be out there until 10pm too.

ILoveDolly · 08/08/2018 19:14

Your neighbours dc? Presumably mum is watching from indoors but personally I would think they were too young to be unsupervised anywhere let alone in the street. Could you check with her that they've not escaped whilst she was busy?

SuperSange · 08/08/2018 19:24

No way. Not any three year old.

Beanbag12 · 08/08/2018 19:33

No way, certainly too young! I would assume they had escaped from their house/garden if I saw neighbours kids of that age out on their own. I have a 4 and 2 year old, no way would they be outside on their own!

restingbemusedface · 08/08/2018 19:34

3 year old is way too young.

Metoodear · 08/08/2018 19:35

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QuilliamCakespeare · 08/08/2018 19:36

No chance.

Pengggwn · 08/08/2018 19:37

Oh dear, never.

DomesticAnarchist · 08/08/2018 19:38

I called 101 about a similar issue years ago. MN seemed to be against my calling, IIRC, but I was concerned for his safety.

Someone did come out and speak to the parents. I think he spent less time outside unsupervised and the family moved on shortly after.

I say ring 101.

glintandglide · 08/08/2018 19:38

No. My 3 year old isn’t alllowed outside on her own at all (apart from garden)

blueskiesandforests · 08/08/2018 19:40

I'm a big fan of playing out where there's no/ very little traffic or a big village green/ neighborhood playground visible from the houses.

However 3 is very obviously always too young.

5 if watched from a window by a parent who can dash out immediately and if there's no traffic (so not playing on the street but a small village/ neighborhood green area) and with older siblings, otherwise 6, 7, it depends on the location/ traffic/ set up/ children themselves.

The parked cars and traffic not seeing the child because of it is the risk. That's what makes it too dangerous even if a parent is watching from a window.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 08/08/2018 19:41

A mum friend from school is often posting on fb looking for her three oldest dc, 8, 6 and 4. They were off to the park last week, next to the river a good 10-15 min walk away. The next day they were playing out the front of mine with their just turned 2yo db who was in one of those shallow trolleys Shock we're a 5 min walk away.

Some people are fucking nuts

Lynne1Cat · 08/08/2018 19:42

In those circumstances, not at all.

Tunnocks34 · 08/08/2018 19:53

I wouldn’t let my (just) 5 year old play out on the street. He’s not street smart enough and I can imagine he’d definitely go off with a stranger offering him something. (Obvs worst worst case scenario)

laptopdisaster · 08/08/2018 19:53

Never, and if I saw it and knew who the family was I'd call social services/NSPCC.

Katedotness1963 · 08/08/2018 19:57

Three is much to young to be out unsupervised!

greendale17 · 08/08/2018 19:59

Never. 3 years old is too young.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 08/08/2018 20:00

I live in a block of four flats, there is a second block opposite across a shared carepark. One of the mothers in the block opposite routinely allows her two to be left to their own devices for hours outside. They are 3 and 5. The kids are quite often inside our block hammering on peoples doors with mum completely unaware :/

Maxtry · 08/08/2018 20:01

BrazzleDazzleDay....thats shocking. Take the fb posts to the police. Social services need to be involved

Excited0803 · 08/08/2018 20:04

It's never ever ok. I don't know where it's reported to, but someone will tell you.

I rang a bunch of flat buzzers when I saw a 3 (or 4?) year old playing in his toy car; the mum answering the buzzer said she was "watching him from the window". I asked if she'd seen him take his car in the road while the van was driving past (actually I'd stopped him at the drive edge, but if I hadn't been there he would probably carried on) and she said no (she clearly hasn't seen me stop him either). She promised to come down for him and I waited until she came out, but I worry and look for him every time I pass those flats now.
It's wrong to lie, but maybe their mum would pay more attention if you said the children had run in front of a car?

68Anon · 08/08/2018 20:05

Much. much too young!

bobstersmum · 08/08/2018 20:07

I don't even let my 4+5 year olds play out unsupervised. And can't see me doing it for a long time either, they have zero common sense! 3 year old no way!

Original poster
ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 20:07

Thanks all. I needed a sanity check as I've known the family a while and always thought of the mum as responsible and a good parent so I was shocked when I saw him run out to play - with their full knowledge

OP posts:
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