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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder when it's acceptable to let a 3 year old play out unsupervised

94 replies

ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 19:12

Very small cul de sac. Albeit with lots of cars parked on the pavements. Just turned, not remotely sensible, 3 yo. Infant school aged brother out with him. Also not mature for his age. No adults sat out supervising. I'm concerned but not sure if I should be...

OP posts:
Scaredandshattered · 08/08/2018 20:08

Don't suppose you love in my cul de sac XD I love in a place called The Willows in a new build cul de sac and we also have 3 year olds playing outside til late leaving there bikes and whatnot in the middle of the road

Original poster
ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 20:08

I don't know what to do about it. I'll have to think. Possibly call nspcc

OP posts:
CoolCarrie · 08/08/2018 20:09

Definitely far too young, some people are reckless about their children, and YANBU at all.

Original poster
ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 20:09

No, not there scared and not my neighbours either but I had the opportunity to be there this week.

OP posts:
AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 08/08/2018 20:10

3? Unsupervised, outside? Never, ever OK. (And I say that as someone living in a much more relaxed culture than the UK re children being out and about unsupervised. Nobody here would ever countenance letting a child so young out on their own either). Infant aged brother obviously doesn't count as supervision.

Applepudding2018 · 08/08/2018 20:11

At that age unsupervised in secure back garden only

thewayoftheplatypus · 08/08/2018 20:11

Wowsers, I won’t even let my almost 3 year old in the garden alone with his big brother! Too accident prone and no common sense!
YANBU to think this is wrong- could you have a word with his mum? Maybe she needs a sanity check!

YourMilkshakeIsBetterThanMine · 08/08/2018 20:14

As above, I don't even let my 4yo in the back garden on her own yet and it's pretty secure Blush

Original poster
ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 20:14

I really don't think she'd take it well if I raised it with her...

OP posts:
CocoaGin70 · 08/08/2018 20:15

Photograph and report immediately to SS. My grandson is 5 and I don't even leave him in my secured back garden unsupervised as he's usually trying to get the lawnmower out of the shed or find some tools to try and chop a tree down Hmm Grin

Anything could happen to them Sad

RamonaQuimbyage38 · 08/08/2018 20:15

Does sound potentially a bit dodgy. However, on the other hand, I'm a big fan of letting kids out by themselves, when slightly older. It bothers me how many people are scared to let their kids cross a road by themselves before puberty, let alone walk to school or take themselves to the park. How are they supposed to learn how to be 'street smart' if you never let them out?

Rebecca36 · 08/08/2018 20:15

No, three years old is too young. Back garden only but within easy eye/earshot.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2018 20:18

Scaredandshattered
Really? No way would I have left my dd to play out in your cul de sac. Far too risky. Children of this age are hurt, wander off or abducted in a flash.

Notevilstepmother · 08/08/2018 20:20

At 3!? No way.

AnyFucker · 08/08/2018 20:23

Not ever

I once took the hand of a 3yo playing on the street and walked her home a few doors from mine. I was very polite and said "I thought you mustn't have noticed little Johnny had slipped out the door...."

I got a mouthful of abuse

SteviaStephanie · 08/08/2018 20:31

“Their often from the really roughy council estate” ?? Reported.

YANBU, Op. I can’t believe anyone would let children of that age play unsupervised, especially when there are cars around.

Figlessfig · 08/08/2018 20:34

Call 101.

If you don’t want to do that, ring your local council and ask to speak to the Duty Social Worker. They will put you through or give you the right number to call.

(I was that social worker. It wasn’t fun.)

Depending on where you are in the UK you may have more than one council operating (like district and/or county councils). But for sure one of your local councils has a statutory duty for child protection.

Figlessfig · 08/08/2018 20:41

steviastephanie

Better report me as well then.

Disclaimer: middle class men too can be implicated in cases of domestic violence and child abuse.

yikesanotherbooboo · 08/08/2018 20:45

When my DD was 3 yo we lived in an estate with a little gang of tinies 3-7/8 and a fenced in unused car park. They all cycled round and round together on their bikes and trikes in safety. I used to watch uneasily from the kitchen... maybe the child's mother is watching?

Original poster
ErictheGuineaPig · 08/08/2018 20:49

I do agree with that generally Ramona. My kids are much older now and out and about with their friends a lot. When they were little we lived on a busy road so I never even thought about letting them out. Thanks again all, I will call the nspcc. They have an online pdf about when to let kids out unsupervised and it has an advice line number on it.

OP posts:
ExileOnMNStreet · 08/08/2018 20:50

How old is his brother out with him?

Their are people who do this and I am afraid their often from the really roughy council estate"

HmmWell Metoodear aren't you a treat?

Sorry, did I say treat? I meant knob.

winecigsandchoc · 08/08/2018 20:50

Duty social worker or 101

Frogscotch7 · 08/08/2018 20:55

We have kids as young as 3 out unsupervised on my estate. Sometimes with a bottle of milk. Drives me crazy. I once knocked on a door after one ran out in front of my car and then stood staring at me, no idea of what a pavement was. Her dad got really aggressive with me so I’ve kept out of their way ever since, and won’t let my kids go to their houses as I don’t trust their parenting. Pretty sure I’m known as the estate bitch but tbh I’m amazed there hasn’t been a terrible accident by now.

SteviaStephanie · 08/08/2018 21:04

Figless - what you’ve described is awful, but does not fit the OP’s description. And if you think that, based on your experience, she is most likely describing a “rough council estate”, there are ways of putting it.

Metoo did not do that.

Gojira · 08/08/2018 21:04

There is absolutely NO chance I would ever let my 3.5 yr old do this.

He has no concept of danger, would happily wander off with anyone and would definitely walk out into the road or in front /behind a moving vehicle.

Basically, he wouldn't last two minutes.

Who the hell is allowing this?