To wonder why non religious people get their babies christened?

[Topsyshair]

Before anyone gets very offended, I do realise that it's entirely up to the parents what they do.

I just wonder the reasoning behind it. I know a few people who are not religious at all, never set foot in a church unless to attend a wedding, yet have their babies christened.

What puzzles me more is some of these people claim to have no money and be very poor but pay for a christening do.

There is a ceremony called confirmation that you study for and do as a young teenager (or older) as an affirmation of your commitment to the faith. Basically, the church doesn't treat Godparents making vows on the part of babies as a show of their commitment to a faith later in life. This confirmation vow does.

I really wouldn't worry about the church considering you lifelong members if you were baptised unwittingly as a child. They don't.

@juells what is it to me ? I'm not a self -centered person , so it's not all about me , it annoys me that people use christening as something other than what it is . Annoys me that society as a whole is that way

@Juells not as a whole but you know what I mean

I really wouldn't worry about the church considering you lifelong members if you were baptised unwittingly as a child. They don't.

Exactly.

“I will attend christening but only if the parents are religious as it’s some thing they really belive in and I’m happy to celebrate with them but When I get an invite for one and I know the parents aren’t religious I don’t attend as what is the point? The parents are doing it why? Just seems as waste of everyone’s time”

I can’t believe the rudeness of this. You actually RSVP to tell the parents you’re not coming because you don’t think they believe enough? in actual reality you do that?

Well just to give another perspective - I am “religious” if that’s the term you want to use. I am a committed Christian, was brought up in the church, married in the church, raise my kids in the church and am committed to serving the church. I was not christened and neither was my DH, nor any of our DC.

The difference I guess is, that we are not adherents of the CofE. “The church” is much, much bigger than the CofE and there are many thousands of Christians in the U.K. who have no connection to the CofE church. (Or if you’re in NI - then the CofI, or in Scotland the Episcopal church - CofS is Presbyterian - not Anglican))

To limit “the church” to CofE and to limit “Christians” to CofE attendees is a little ridiculous!

Not trying to be offensive - just putting some other facts out there.

On a different note though - I have always wondered about faith schools and how they use baptism certificates as proof of “faith”. (In Scotland there are catholic schools but no Protestant schools afaik) By “Christian” do those schools really mean CofE then? Because kids raised in other church denominations, with very valid and committed faiths wouldn’t necessarily have been christened.

By “Christian” do those schools really mean CofE then?

Christening children is hardly ever an admission criterion in C of E schools. It’s far more common in catholic schools.

So if you are not religious, the church doesn’t view a christening as meaningful and you have no designs on a faith school.. what reason is left for a christening??

With regards to school admissions, whether they can select pupils on the ground of faith, and the percentage of pupils they can select, also depends on whether the school is voluntary aided, voluntary controlled, foundation, academy or a free school.

fairadmissions.org.uk/why-is-this-an-issue/the-law-on-admissions/

It isn’t meaningful not. The pint of a christening is to make promises tkbring up your child in the Christian faith. It’s hollow talk if you’re not actually going to do that.

Ok - didn’t realise that. So for catholic schools - are they looking for catholic baptism or would they accept CofE too then? Interestingly - I know a family whose DC went to one of the catholic schools in our city, as their catchment primary was terrible, but they are def not baptised as infants - they, like us, believe in Belivers’ Baptism, not infant baptism

“NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking

So if you are not religious, the church doesn’t view a christening as meaningful and you have no designs on a faith school.. what reason is left for a christening??”

All the other reasons mentioned on the thread?

My DD's aren't christened because I just couldn't stand in the front of a priest, in a church repeating a load of promises that I just don't believe in. I just couldn't do it. I was christened and went to Catholic school, my Italian mothers choice, even though she is a vociferous unbeliever. My un-christened children went to the same (private) Catholic school. In their class were Catholics, CofE, Muslims and unbelievers. They got a lot of religious education, which they wouldn't have got from me, and therefore were able to make up their own minds. They all came to the same conclusion that religion (any) is not something for them.

Interested in your views on godparents - surely also hypocritical to promise lie in church that you will bring up the child within the religion if you have absolutely no intent of doing so...

I’m not really sure what sort of answer you want Botanica. Godparents don’t really do much promising- just a muttered we do along with the parents: but if the process is meaningless to you then that is too. Many people take more traditional responsibilities from god parenting- acting as a mentor and support, potentially taking the children in if orphaned and so on. I guess most god parents thing it’s a necessary part of establishing a relationship that they very much want with the child.

I think it’s a bit odd but it does help to fund the church.

How?

£14 for a certificate? This is not even a dent in church finances.

We didn't get married in a church because I would have refused to say vows that I didn't believe. Our DC are christened because DH does believe (in a vague CofE way) and he felt strongly that he wanted them to be christened. I made the arrangements and held the babies, but I didn't actually say the words at the christenings about renouncing the devil and following Our Lord

The reality is that people sometimes assign meaning to the ritual, but a different one to the meaning that the faith itself assigns. One doesn't have to agree with that to understand that it's a thing people might do.

Crafty - churches tend to do well out of the collection at a christening, as well as any donation that the parents might make

Parents make a donation for the christening. We donated £100.

(Plus the collection obv)

You don’t need to be baptised to marry in church. The qualifying criteria is that you have a connection to the parish. The only thing the vicar can decide is whether to marry a divorcee, but this will be an upfront policy.

I really wouldn't worry about the church considering you lifelong members if you were baptised unwittingly as a child. They don't

But they're happy enough to consider everyone on the baptismal roll a member when it comes to justifying their seats in the Lords.

DH and I were both brought up in CofE / Methodist families and we are both atheists.
Nevertheless I had DC baptised in my parents church because it meant a lot to them. I don't recall it cost any money? We didn't have a party or anything.
My closest friend did exactly the same for the same reasons and we were both hypocritical respective god parents.

DC went to the local tiny village school which had close links with the church and so their only exposure to religion growing up was the little school harvest festival and christingle services held in the church.

DC both adults now and both atheists. No harm done and very happy grandparents.

Big piss up innit