To be pissed of with "I don't mind"

[Bumble1830]

A little bit lighthearted, a little bit rant-y.

Does anyone else get pissed off with "I don't mind" answers to every single question you ask the family? What do you fancy for tea? .... I don't mind. What film shall we watch? ... I don't mind. How would you like to live your last day on earth? ... I don't mind. Seriously, a little clue as to what you fancy for dinners as I'm doing the weekly shop in Sainsburys (other supermarkets are available) would be nice, and then they moan because its the stuff stuff every time....!!! Ggrrrrr. Aannnnnd bbrrreeaaaath 😶

[fluffypudcats]

"Do you want to come with me?"
"I don't mind"
"You need to decide Dad, I can't do that one for you"

"What do you want for lunch?"
"I'll have a banana sandwich" (knowing there were bananas)
"Okay, I've got scrambled eggs or soup too"
"THEN WHY ASK ME WHAT I WANT IF IT'S NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER?"

ARGH!

[MotherWol]

DH does this - he takes after his dad who does it a lot. This summer we went for a picnic, and we had the following exchange:

Me: FIL, which crisps would you like?
FIL: I don't mind, whatever's easiest
Me: YOU GET PLAIN

Now, whenever DH says 'don't mind' in response to a similar question, I remind him that YOU GET PLAIN. Turns out he does have a preference...

[Roomba]

My ex MIL is terrible for this. She cannot express an opinion to save her life! She's lovely but so terrified of offending anyone or making the wrong decision. Doing anything with her takes hours and is infuriating - her partner is just as bad so they never get anything done. Their house is dropping to bits as they can't just choose how to decorate /fix things and do it!

Gives me the rage every time, which is exactly the effect she is trying to avoid in the first place!

[Groovee]

If you want is the reply in my house 😩

[MrsDesireeCarthorse]

"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't mind."
"Ok, let's have X."
"I don't want X."
"Sort yourself out then."

Fuck that shit.

[SheWoreBlueVelvet]

Oooh! This has given me the perfect solution for my dearest mother who only ever talks in questions. Literally every sentence is a question.And she doesn't listen to answer. She'll still bring the third slice of cake, or ask repeatedly until you have to look at whatever it is she wants you take home with you.

Instead of getting cross I'm going to say " I don't mind" and let her do what she actually wants.

[FiestaThenSiesta]

Yeah but how many of you “what do you want..” people are guilty of this? I bet for some it’s a rhetorical question and suggestions get shot down, that’s why they now get the “I don’t mind” reply

1: What do you want for dinner?"
2: "let's have X."
1: I don’t want X."
2: then why the fuck did you ask!?

[NommyChompers]

I have a friend like this who then accuses me of being bossy as I always pick where we go - I always ask but she never says what she wants. Winds me right up!

[hazell42]

My husband used to do this. I divorced him. I dont say it was entirely due to that, but it was certainly part of it. Now my son does the same thing. It gives me the rage
He moans about anything I cook for him but refuses to say what he wants on the grounds that 'I know what he likes'. I have started to refuse to make anything until he has chosen what he wants. It takes him hours to decide sometimes. Meanwhile I sit and ignore him. Eventually he will spit it out

[dueanotherchange]

Me: FIL, which crisps would you like?
FIL: I don't mind, whatever's easiest
Me: YOU GET PLAIN

I'm not British but I do wonder if this is a British thing...the "whatever's easiest" bit I mean.

I brought three flavours, it isn't any more fucking difficult to pull one out of a bag than any other!!! JUST STATE A PREFERENCE!

On the opposite side, DH always asks my opinion "do you want have dinner inside or outside." I can GUARANTEE that he will take the opposite view to mine. But as I won't say I don't mind, I say "You make the decision today." Usually when I don't, y'know, actually mind

[delphguelph]

Don't even get me started on this one.

I live abroad. Parents come to stay with me for 3 weeks. WEEKS. Every single fucking question is met with 'I don't mind'.

Where do you wanna go? 'I don't mind'.
What do you want to eat? 'I don't mind'.
What do you want to drink/watch/museum to visit?? 'I don't mind'.

Which means that I have to decide every single fucking thing. Food, activities, schedule.

And then finally, 3 years later, they'll say ' I wanted to stay at the Marriot but you put us in that boutique hotel with the old furniture'.

Does not help that they refuse to drive or think for themselves when they are here. 'What do you want to see whilst you're here??'. 'Oh, we're only here to see YOU, Delph!!!!'

Arrggghhhhhhhhhhh

[delphguelph]

I'm not British but I do wonder if this is a British thing...the "whatever's easiest" bit I mean.

^^

What's that sound??

The nail being hit on the head, that's what.

[Springersrock]

This drives me nuts

Me - what do you want for dinner
Them - I don’t mind

Then - not shepherds pie/stir fry/whatever agaaaiiin

Me

Fucks sake.

Half the time DH just doesn’t want to make the decision - so he can blame me if it’s wrong. We have come to blows so many times about it

[BrokenWing]

Me: Anything in particular you want for dinner?
Him: dont mind
Me: start making for everyone what I fancy (or whatever goes out of date first) without telling him
Him: I don't want x
Me:too late I've started

Me: what flavour of crisps do you want
Him: don't mind
Me: give him the flavour I like least
Him : hmm would have preferred x flavour
Me: you know where the cupboard is

[Trinity66]

I do this all the time, I hate deciding stuff and usually don't mind :p

[annandale]

Sorry trinity that sounds like people who are constantly late because they don't like being kept waiting. Taking a share of the decision making is part of being an adult imo.

[Trinity66]

Sorry trinity that sounds like people who are constantly late because they don't like being kept waiting.

good plan :p

[Redcrayons]

My sister is a ‘whatever’s easiest’ person.
Tea or coffee? Whatever’s easiest. Well making you nothing is easiest, tea and coffee are exactly the same amount of effort, so decide or you’ll get nothing. She’s eased off the ‘don’t mind’ after we met for lunch at the cafe walking distance from mine 6 times in a row. Now she suggests where we go so it’s a bit more equal.

Unfortunately I can’t get away with being that rude to people at work.

[Loonoon]

I hate it. DS’s little mate used to do it all the time.

‘Would you like to stay for your tea?’ - ‘I don’t mind’.
‘Would you like to come swimming with us?’ I don’t mind’.

It used to really annoy me, I was offering him a treat, would it have killed him to say ‘Yes thank you’. It used to make me feel as if he was doing me a favour by deigning to spend time with us. Happily they are no longer as friendly so he doesn’t come round much anymore - and when he does I no longer offer to feed him.

[Smurfy23]

Oh god. This is DH to everything- I mean EVERYTHING. It does my head in. He is so indecisive. Luckily I am (and somewhat bossy too.....) so we are actually able to achieve things in life (like decide what to eat, where to go blah blah). Thing is he thinks hes being really helpful by being that way...

[FranticallyPeaceful]

I get “it’s upto you”

[Spudina]

YANBU. DH asks me "what would you like for dinner?" literally every time he is food shopping. Then everyday we are off "what are we doing today?" Sounds great,but in reality it's kind of exhausting. Last year I was off work with a mental health problem. I had to say to him "I have no decision making capability left. I just need you to decide some stuff for a while. What we eat, where we go. For one week, you choose." It was like a holiday.

[mikeyssister]

When my husband asks me "what do you...." I'm having to reply "I really don't have the mental capacity at the moment to make a decision, can you tell me what you're thinking"

I honestly hope he doesn't think I'm being a PIA. I just don't have the ability at the moment, but sometimes I can choose between two options. It just depends on the day

[Fabricwitch]

I do "I don't mind as long as it's not X, Y, Z, Q, W, E, R, T, A, B or C" is that more or less annoying?

[Greenyogagirl]

I do this but in my defence I genuinely don’t mind