Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel massively depressed about weight gain **pic inc**

134 replies

WhyTheHeckMe · 07/08/2018 22:59

I had my second ds 3 months ago and I am seriously low about my weight. My 2 boys are my world but I can't help but feel down about my body.
After ds1 (now 2.5) I snapped back. Always had a slim waist and curvy bum but was slim so didn't mind.
Now I just feel fat. Everything is wide.
I have spent the last 3 months eating nothing but healthy food. No treats. I walk between 2 and 4 miles a night once the kids are in bed.
The first pic was 18 months ago and the one on the he right is tonight.
Do I look hideous? I have to wear this dress at the weekend and now I'm dreading it.
Also does anyone have tips on how to target my midriff?
I feel like ds2 has changed my body shape permanently and I'll always be this wide.

To feel massively depressed about weight gain **pic inc**
OP posts:
MmeButtox · 08/08/2018 06:18

You look beautiful. Any tummy issues are about the cut of the dress, not your body. No starlet would go out in that without shapewear- the colour and fabric practically require it. You'll look great :)

ladybirdsaredotty · 08/08/2018 06:18

Just to echo a PP...please be wary of taking any exercise advice or compliments on your self-discipline when you have a history of EDs (I do, too). The walking for miles at night possibly indicates the sort of self-control that I personally would use as an indicator to myself that I was going back to disordered thinking. Take care of your mental health too, OP (meant with kindness Flowers)

icklekid · 08/08/2018 06:27

So I was you op bit without the amazing before picture. My weight had gradually increased and increased and 2 children later I was desperately unhappy with the way I looked. When my daughter was 12 weeks old I went to slimming world because I wanted to do something about it. I lost 4 stone and feel the best I have ever. I also joined a gym as the weight loss meant I had a lot of loose skin. I'm not saying you have 4 stone to lose as it doesn't look like it. But many people told me the same. You don't look that over weight. I am now a very healthy weight for my height (short!) And most importantly happy! Slimming world worked for me - I did it using my syns for healthy fats rather than snacking on chocolate but it might not be the right option for you. What it helped me do was write down everything I was eating and ensure it was balanced (limiting carbs and dairy) it felt like I was doing something for me for the first time. I hope you manage to get some underwear to help you feel happy in the dress but most of all I hope you feel happy in yourself soon.

Stillwishihadabs · 08/08/2018 06:43

I sympathise OP I am a very similar height and figure to you and agree 9st is a good weight ( currently 9st 6). I would feel the same at 11st ( what I weighed after DC2). The dress is lovely- you look fine and you will get your figure back, have some patience. Agree with others maybe another dress ?

SoSoFullTooMuchChoolate · 08/08/2018 06:47

I can't see the difference - left pic is far away so you look smaller. Right pic is close up so you look bigger Hmm

You like nice dont worry

EmmaC78 · 08/08/2018 06:51

I would say try another dress too. You have a nice figure but you could definately get something a lot more flattering to make you look amazing.

SallyVating · 08/08/2018 06:52

I think the second pic actually looks nicer.

littlecabbage · 08/08/2018 06:53

Oh and in terms of targeting, try doing the plank challenge. If you Google it the details should come up

It isn't recommended to do planks or stomach crunches for a year after having a baby - puts too much pressure on your recovering pelvic floor.

FranticallyPeaceful · 08/08/2018 06:58

You’re more than entitled to dislike your body but I’m sure you’re WELL aware that most people don’t look this good so close after having a child and you probably wanted people to tell you that when posting these pics... so yeah, you look good. But wow this made me feel pretty bloody shit!

GetAwayFromHer · 08/08/2018 07:21

Your shape may well have changed permanently. You've had two babies! Many women end up with a wider ribcage and waist. You'll tone up. It's 3 months. Stop obsessing. You look va-va-voom

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 08/08/2018 07:27

You are naturally slim
And curvy

But you literally just gave birth ! Chill
Be patient

Crabbitstick · 08/08/2018 07:31

Would recommend a Pilates class - really helped to repair and strengthen muscles after c-section. Please go to a class though so a trainer can check and monitor your muscles.

You are only 3 months after major surgery - go easy on yourself!

pantosaurus · 08/08/2018 07:43

For the amount you will spend on decent control underwear, you could easily get a lovely dress in one of the summer sales. So many people are saying they are comfy, that's not been my experience and I think you will end up hot, uncomfortable and self conscious in that dress. Lovely as it is, and you do look fine by the way, I don't think it's the best choice for 3 months post-partum.

I have the same body shape, and after DC2 did hover at 11.5ish stone for ages. Find a dress in the right size that emphasises your small waist then flares out rather than clings will look and feel so much better.

IhopeyoulikeNavantoo · 08/08/2018 08:31

You look very nice. Occasionally there are some women who ping back to size 8 after births but imho the honest truth is that most women don't. I was always 8 or 10 and now I am 12 and nothing I do seems to change it.

number1wang · 08/08/2018 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blobby10 · 08/08/2018 08:49

I've been in your shoes OP!! But PLEASE give yourself time - your baby is only 3 months old! You've had major surgery to give birth! If you are going down the control underwear route, the only thing which worked for me with the c section pouch was a "control slip" rather than knickers as this pulled in the tops of my thighs too which bulged out rather too much from the elastic of the knickers! Hope that makes sense and that you are able to go out at the weekend feeling, if not beautiful and slim, at least proud to have such an amazing body!!

IMissGin · 08/08/2018 09:13

You look fantastic but I wouldn’t be comfortable in that dress, it’s pale and stretchy- 2 of the least flattering dress characteristics. Why can’t you wear something else? You have a fantastic figure and there’s loads of sales on and then you won’t need the new underwear

BunnyBath · 08/08/2018 09:22

You look great, but the dress doesn't suit your new body type. Find something else cheap on New Look or something.

BunnyBath · 08/08/2018 09:24

Also, walking isn't going to shift your pooch. Try the couch to 5k challenge.

Nikephorus · 08/08/2018 09:29

In the first picture you look great, in the second you look human. You don't look hideous, you don't look like a baby hippo in a dress, you're not going to have people secretly thinking 'seriously? that dress with that body? what was she thinking?'. It's a safe bet that you'll still be thinner than half the women there, most of whom won't have produced a human being in the last 3 months! Congratulate yourself that you can still get into it and if you mention the recent happy event enough times when you're there everyone will be going 'bitch! can't believe she comes swanning out looking that good so quickly!'

ambereeree · 08/08/2018 09:37

OP I'm in the same position. Snapped back to size 8/10 with first child and now am probably 12/14 3 months after second. Its awful especially as its so hot and i can't hide under layers.
I also had 2 emcs and i feel like my body has changed beyond my control. Its just so bloody depressing.
Are you still breastfeeding? I am so don't really want to diet.

Movablefeast · 08/08/2018 09:50

Please don't me hard on yourself OP. Also don't think you can't ever lose weight. I am 49 and lost a stone and a half last year. I am very happy with the results and got much fitter. I'm sorry I only read the first two pages but I would focus on exercise and weight training. Exercise helps with anxiety and you seem to be struggling with perhaps some Post Partum anxiety, which is more common than depression.

FromNowOn · 08/08/2018 10:09

Don’t be hard on yourself, 3 months is nothing.

OP, I lost my baby weight doing slimming world and going to the gym. However my hips and boobs will never be the same. It’s taken me a long while to adjust to the fact that after two children my body is not going to be the same shape it was before and despite losing weight I cannot fit in to my old clothes. It’s taken time for me to work out what suits me now. Oh and my control pants from Tesco are miles better than anything I’ve paid a lot of money for in M&S!

TheHonGalahadThreepwood · 08/08/2018 10:27

Your baby is only 3 months old. If you keep eating well and taking exercise then your body will change. It just takes time. Going through pregnancy and birth is a huge thing.

Also, I think it's a really big mistake to try to wear exactly the same clothes that you wore pre-pregnancy if they don't make you feel good. Make your clothes fit and flatter your body, not the other way around. So what if you currently need a dress that is slightly more forgiving across the tummy? The only thing that matters is that you should look and feel good. If a particular dress isn't doing the job then it's the dress that needs to change, not you. You have a beautiful hourglass figure, so go and find a dress that flatters it - princess line or fit and flare would look wonderful on you.

MissLadyM · 08/08/2018 10:40

You've got a lovely shape and aren't fat at all! Some decent underwear will make the dress look better though. Go easy on yourself!