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AIBU?

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Original poster

Buying a door without a partner

167 replies

chemenger · 07/08/2018 16:36

According to a local company I cannot buy a door, or even discuss buying a door without my husband present. The woman on the phone had the cheek to ask me if I was able to make decisions “like this” on my own. The massive decision of what kind of back door I want. I checked my calendar and I haven’t slipped back in time to 1918. Needless to say I have found another company who is willing to deal with me no questions asked.
I assume I have just escaped a long session of hard selling and they wanted DH and I both there so I couldn’t get rid of them by using the excuse that I had to consult him. Again this is the 21st century. The company I am buying from has its prices on the internet, no “sign now or you’ll lose your discount” nonsense.
My mostly male colleagues agreed that their door selection skills were no better than their partners but that they would have liked to have overheard my conversation on the phone. To think that I used to be allowed to choose equipment for chemical plants and now I can’t be trusted with a door.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 07/08/2018 17:10

No point, I was just pointing out that I am able to make large purchases without consulting my husband. If I told that to a company and they still wouldn’t come round and quote id be pretty pissed off. We trust each other’s judgement.

Kismett · 07/08/2018 17:10

As others have said, this is a pressure sales thing and isn't about being a woman. A company did the same to my FIL and said my MIL had to be there.

ALemonyPea · 07/08/2018 17:11

I can quite believe this. I made an appointment for a double glazing company to come out to give a quote. I got a phone call a few hours later to confirm, and was asked if my husband would be ok with me making an appointment, and that if the salesman turned up he wouldn’t be chased off by my husband. Strangely enough, I told them I’d be cancelling the appointment.

Or, I was in Kwik Fit last year, car keys in hand, for MY car, and the mechanic talked to my husband who was standing a few feet behind me. If I didn’t have to use that company for my tyres, I’d have been out of there.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 07/08/2018 17:12

In fairness, I don't think this is a sexist thing.

I had the same thing when buying double glazing and I'm a bloke. 2 different companies wouldn't deal with me unless my partner was there too. At the time, it was my flipping house!

I think they don't want you to have the excuse that you need to discuss with your partner, or any hassle if someone changes their mind post purchase because they hadn't got their partners input beforehand.

Its still bloody stupid though.

Notasyoungasiwas · 07/08/2018 17:13

Oh goodness! I chose and bought a front door AND a back door AT THE SAME TIME - ON MY OWN. I may even have been on my period as well 😂😂

PixelAteMe · 07/08/2018 17:14

How ridiculous! Thank you, though - your posts have made me laugh out loud, OP.

Original poster
chemenger · 07/08/2018 17:15

To be fair I did ask if it was because I was a woman and she said no. I don’t think it was the first time she’d been asked. Drip feeding I know. It stated by asking if I was the sole owner of the house and having resisted mentioning that the bank owns quite a lot of it I said no. I think if I had said yes I would have been allowed to buy it. My brother and I own a house between us that we inherited, he’s having major renovations done, I haven’t been asked about any of that, thinking about it he got a new back door last year. How did he manage that without me?

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMoose · 07/08/2018 17:15

I had this with blinds. I sent him on his way and sent an email to the company involved. I explained that I didn’t care whether it was the same if a man had booked the appointment or not. I had invited them into my home to do a quote, they chose to come, whether I chose to buy from them was MY choice and I was not being bullied into it, on the spot, by their salespersons. It was MY INVITATION to them to prepare a quote - how dare they act like they’re doing me a favour. Quote, don’t quote, I don’t actually give a toss...they’re far from the only blinds company in the area. Idiots.

HippyChickMama · 07/08/2018 17:16

This happened to me with safestyle. I asked them to come and quote for a new front door and they refused on the grounds that dh couldn't be there due to work. I told them to forget it then which resulted in them deciding that actually dh wouldn't have to be there after all. I told them I was no longer interested in getting a quote from them as I didn't agree with their 1950s policies.

Daisymay2 · 07/08/2018 17:16

We had the same with a green energy company. DH is retired and I was still working. Arranged to leave early and the moron didn't show. Well first of all rang to say that he would be late, then it as a phone call to say he would be coming the next day. I said that I would not be there and he got very shirty. I cancelled and suggested they reimburse me at my hourly rate for my wasted time! They left it a few days and rang to make another appointment - I was at home and they got an earful. Haven't tried again.

Notasyoungasiwas · 07/08/2018 17:17

Perhaps your brother may ask you to choose some nice curtains OP 😉

longwayoff · 07/08/2018 17:21

What if u cant rustle up a man? No new door for lone women? Welcome to 1955

eddielizzard · 07/08/2018 17:21

Companies lose business pulling this sort of crap. Or at least I hope they do. Then it'll be either fast forward from the 1950's or go bust.

frecklesMaybe · 07/08/2018 17:23

How brave you all are 'giving people an earful' over the phone or with shitty emails. I'm very impressed by the march of womanhood!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/08/2018 17:23

Golly (apologies for swearing) there are some very unwomanly women on this thread.

All these poor innocent companies want is to protect your fluffy little lady brains from having to make such a vitally important decision. Surely everyone knows that we can only be trusted to make decisions on soft furnishings and kitchen equipment. Anything more taxing and we are certain to have a nasty fit of the vapours and have to take to our beds for a month with nervous exhaustion!

What utter nonsense - and how depressing that this is still happening in 2018.

Scifi101 · 07/08/2018 17:26

I need a new front door.

Anyone mind saying what they cost?

JenFromTheGlen · 07/08/2018 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrjoepike · 07/08/2018 17:28

they would be out of business fast here.9 out of 10 homes owned by woman.
husband would have sent them packing too.when having contractors/repairmen in he would wander out of the computercave and offer them coffee and wander back.more to let them know there was someone else in the house than anything.
had a very nasty cable tv guy show up when he wasnt here. sat with my 150lb dog between us this guy was a woman hater..had to have work done again a few years later, same creep showed up.just so happened dh and his best friend a phd in tech/computer sciences were having coffee.the repairman kept looking over my head and asking them questions.twice he had to be told to ask me.and informed that i knew more about the tv/internet and phone system than he did. found out he was fired shortly after.
only time had anything close to inhome sales crap was for new roof.
dh informed him i made all those decisions.

Kismett · 07/08/2018 17:31

I don't understand how so many people are missing the point that it would actually be easier to get an appointment if you were single.

frecklesMaybe · 07/08/2018 17:32

@Scifi101

Closer to 1k than you'd think!

RollaCola84 · 07/08/2018 17:33

YANBU to be annoyed but it's not because you're female it's a sales tactic as others have said. "I need to discuss it with my OH" is a good way of deferring a decision, if both parties are there they've got a better chance of forcing a decision or playing you off against each other.

I'd still find another company who aren't into the high pressure sales.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/08/2018 17:33

@Scifi101 - we need to be sure that you have a responsible man with you, before we answer that question - OK. WinkGrin

bluemoonchances · 07/08/2018 17:36

YANBU

I had the same issue with a big company that I thought had a good reputation. Begins with the letter A.

I made the mistake of saying that we were considering new windows, which we are, I then received calls pretty much twice a day almost begging me to let them come give me a quote which would be valid until spring. I then made the appointment for in 2 days time. The next day I got a call to confirm that I still wanted the appointment, I said yes, he then asked if my husband would be home, I said no but I know exactly what we want ( just 3 windows replacing like for like) and he said he'd rearrange when my husband could be present!

I said that my husband works away a lot so it would be a few weeks before he'd be available and I knew what we wanted... the CF then said that he'd phone back in a few weeks when my husband was available... he was told in no uncertain terms not to bother phoning back!! CF!! And I still need new windows!

Rigamorph · 07/08/2018 17:36

Weird....I don't think I have ever encountered this issue, either way round. Sales reps in all my local hardware shops and builder's merchants have never been anything other than helpful. Had new double glazed windows and doors for my old house, got 3 different quotes too.

So yes I think I would be flummoxed if it happened to me. Probably wouldn't do anything about it tho, just take my money elsewhere.

It has just occurred to me that perhaps at the time it was obvious from my appearance that I was single, so no need to ask! Grin

RaspberryRipple1963 · 07/08/2018 17:37

Good grief! Really?