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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to hospital for a second opinion and get some family and dh help

162 replies

boomerang1 · 07/08/2018 08:08

Hi all,

To cut a long story short I have had a headache for over a week. It started as a migraine and I lost my vision in one eye temporarily. I was sick and in a lot of pain for a day. That subsided but a less severe headache remained. I don't normally get migraines apart from during pregnancy (I'm not pregnant) and a couple in my teens, leading me to believe its hormonal for me.
During this week the headache is constantly there. It is a dull ache but quite painful and I feel sick and have been sick a few times. When I turn my head to look in a different direction it causes a sharp pain behind my eyes and at the top of my head. On a couple of days it has been worse and turned into a migraine again but goes back to the headache after a few hours or overnight. The pain is keeping me awake at night. This is not that bad though because I'm up 5 or 6 times anyway with my 9 month old.
I have taken paracetamol and ibuprofen but I can't take anything else as I'm still breastfeeding. Those don't take the pain away and only take the edge off.
I went to the doctor yesterday evening and he was no help. He pretty much said he didn't know what it was and as I was bf couldn't give me anything. He booked me in for blood tests in a weeks time ! But I honestly don't know how to cope with the pain for another week or more.
I have asked my dh to take time off work as I'm home with the 2 children (9 months and 5 years) I don't have any other offers of help. Dh is afraid to lose his job, even though I think if he explained he wouldn't, but I understand , so said he will only come home if I go to hospital. I'm thinking of doing this. I don't want to waste their time at all and never go unless it's very serious but I'm in pain, I can't get relief and I have 2 dc who I'm struggling to care for. The doctor did suggest it was sleep deprivation finally killing me as a bit of a joke, but I can't escape that despite trying sleep training, plus I'm not sure it is as I've been getting a bit more sleep than the previous 2 hours a night as iv given in to co sleeping.
Wibu to go to hospital once the children are in bed tonight to get a second opinion and also so dh has to care for the children so I get a small break? I wouldn't usually think like his as dh has to work and I get that but I'm in pain and sick and it's very hard with two young children.
I will just add I was a single parent to my first child so I know that others have to get on with it without support, I know that gets mentioned often on these threads.

Thanks all

OP posts:
PerverseConverse · 07/08/2018 20:23

@Emilizz34 I feel the same too. I also agree with the other poster who said medical questions shouldn't be allowed. A lot of the time I don't bother to post as I figure there's no point.

Remember the one who's husband couldn't pass urine? Wonder what happened to him as he refused to go to a&e and made s GP appointment instead.

peekyboo · 07/08/2018 20:41

But then there was the woman who posted from her work toilets as she was having an extremely heavy period and was embarrassed because she didn't have pads.

That turned out to be haemorrhaging and the ongoing, real-time support from MN got her to the hospital and treated.

Maliali · 07/08/2018 20:52

To those saying if OP were older she would be tested for stroke - my DM had a stroke in her late 30s. OP
Please listen to the HCPs urging you to get properly checked out. Am not a medic but things like this you shouldn’t take chances with.

peekyboo · 07/08/2018 20:58

If I was getting this advice I'd be panicking by now. I don't understand why people don't take it seriously.

Bluelady · 07/08/2018 21:04

Nor me. Pointless asking.

PerverseConverse · 07/08/2018 21:29

@Emilizz34 I've just read another one just now saying her child has landed on her head on a trampoline and heard a crack but isn't sure if that's worth an a&e trip. There really is no cure for stupid.

Emilizz34 · 07/08/2018 21:44

@PerverseConverse that’s unbelievable 😂. Hopefully the child has got the attention they need

Crunchymum · 07/08/2018 21:46

There are other pain relief options for breast feeding mothers. Diclofenic and Dyhyracodeine are both fine.

Crunchymum · 07/08/2018 21:49

Sorry hadn't read the whole thread. Was just replying re: pain relief options.

Hope you get sorted soon OP.

nocoolnamesleft · 07/08/2018 21:52

Yeah, I despair. Headache worse in the morning - oh look, a red flag. I actually first created an account because someone was wondering whether to call 111 about a baby who sounded like they could well have meningitis. On that occasion, happily, they did actually seek medical help. But other times... Scary isn't it.

Oddcat · 07/08/2018 21:55

We scan loads of people every day that come through A&E with headache and visual disturbance, usually it's nothing serious but every so often it is . I'd miss111 and go to a & e (111 will probably tell you to go anyway )

Splodgeinc · 07/08/2018 22:00

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1952551/

makingmiracles · 07/08/2018 22:00

The amount of posters that’s are on mn that suggest you shouldn’t go to a and e unless your limbs hanging off amazes me! Yes you shouldnt go for a cold/cough or a virus or something, but you should if your in pain and not satisfied with what a go has said or can’t see a gp for some reason.
I exhausted all options days before a and e, gp said gallstone pain, out of hrs clinic said ibs, minor injury unit said no idea what the pain is but you don’t look ill so up to you if you want to waste your time going to a and e(!?) drove hr to a and e and was admitted within an hr and kept in hospital for two weeks! Raging appendicitis with complications.

As mothers I think a lot of us naturally soldier on, we don’t want to complain over nothing or inconvenience anyone, jepodise partners employment etc etc, but without us dps would be in a right old state trying to manage so it’s in their interest to keep you well.

Get your dp to ring his work and say he’s got to take the day off to take you to hospital, most employers would be ok with that and it is a valid reason to expect time off.

Splodgeinc · 07/08/2018 22:05

If you are under the pain team and your discussed the risks and you want to take codine and you have an older baby fine. if as advised on this thread the op just pops a few co codamol she has at home, not fine. My advice was aimed at the op before she went and took a few, no bf mum should be taking codine without being fully informed. advise changed very recently so many may have had it prescribed and think its safe w.hen new evidence shows its not.

Splodgeinc · 07/08/2018 22:13

Just in case this isnt clear from the above, the EMA and MHRA (the medicines safety people) now say CODINE IS CONTRAINDICATED IN BREASTFEEDING. Its not me making this up. This is new advice based on new evidence and many HCPs are not aware yet.

leanne9312 · 07/08/2018 22:19

I hope your ok op x

FishFingerInjury · 07/08/2018 22:28

Please get it checked, MIL had very similar issues and her’s was a brain aneurysm. It niggled for a few weeks and they think it bled a bit. Finally got taken seriously had an MRI and wasn’t allowed home until she had brain surgery.

So while I’m sure you’re fine OP, please get it checked.

ladycarlotta · 08/08/2018 11:42

Really worrying for the OP! The advice on this thread did a whiplash 180 from 'how idiotic and selfish to go to A&E, get a grip' to 'what sort of selfish idiot doesn't go to A&E in this situation?!' - classic Mumsnet I know, but I really hope it wasn't too horrible to be on the receiving end of, and that the OP got help.

gandalf456 · 08/08/2018 11:50

I think the main upshot is that her husband is a git for expecting her to look after the kids when incapacitated with a severe migraine.

peekyboo · 08/08/2018 12:03

OP is most likely used to being back of the queue when it comes to attention and having people care.

I'm very frustrated she seemed to ignore good medical advice on this thread, and did as she was told at home, re not bothering the husband.

I'd like to know what kind of man doesn't worry about his wife, doesn't make time in his week to find out why she has a migraine so bad she loses her sight and vomits. I wonder how things are when he needs care and attention?

I hope, in the end, that it was all ok. And also that it gives her some pause to consider her treatment by others, and her low expectations of how much attention she should receive.

Bluelady · 08/08/2018 12:12

This has been haunting me. I do hope OP finally went to A&E.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 08/08/2018 15:06

I think that’s why online medical help isn’t a great idea. The first few posts were not helpful and downplayed things. That set the tone until common sense took over.

I keep thinking about OP too.

Women are just expected to put up with it and it’s not acceptable

Hairyfairy01 · 08/08/2018 18:05

Totally agree with peekyboo. Please update us op.

TheDogAteMyPants · 09/08/2018 07:30

Hope you are ok @boomerang1 x

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