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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go to hospital for a second opinion and get some family and dh help

162 replies

boomerang1 · 07/08/2018 08:08

Hi all,

To cut a long story short I have had a headache for over a week. It started as a migraine and I lost my vision in one eye temporarily. I was sick and in a lot of pain for a day. That subsided but a less severe headache remained. I don't normally get migraines apart from during pregnancy (I'm not pregnant) and a couple in my teens, leading me to believe its hormonal for me.
During this week the headache is constantly there. It is a dull ache but quite painful and I feel sick and have been sick a few times. When I turn my head to look in a different direction it causes a sharp pain behind my eyes and at the top of my head. On a couple of days it has been worse and turned into a migraine again but goes back to the headache after a few hours or overnight. The pain is keeping me awake at night. This is not that bad though because I'm up 5 or 6 times anyway with my 9 month old.
I have taken paracetamol and ibuprofen but I can't take anything else as I'm still breastfeeding. Those don't take the pain away and only take the edge off.
I went to the doctor yesterday evening and he was no help. He pretty much said he didn't know what it was and as I was bf couldn't give me anything. He booked me in for blood tests in a weeks time ! But I honestly don't know how to cope with the pain for another week or more.
I have asked my dh to take time off work as I'm home with the 2 children (9 months and 5 years) I don't have any other offers of help. Dh is afraid to lose his job, even though I think if he explained he wouldn't, but I understand , so said he will only come home if I go to hospital. I'm thinking of doing this. I don't want to waste their time at all and never go unless it's very serious but I'm in pain, I can't get relief and I have 2 dc who I'm struggling to care for. The doctor did suggest it was sleep deprivation finally killing me as a bit of a joke, but I can't escape that despite trying sleep training, plus I'm not sure it is as I've been getting a bit more sleep than the previous 2 hours a night as iv given in to co sleeping.
Wibu to go to hospital once the children are in bed tonight to get a second opinion and also so dh has to care for the children so I get a small break? I wouldn't usually think like his as dh has to work and I get that but I'm in pain and sick and it's very hard with two young children.
I will just add I was a single parent to my first child so I know that others have to get on with it without support, I know that gets mentioned often on these threads.

Thanks all

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 07/08/2018 11:11

To be fair on the husband, if I were home with a young baby and his job were at risk with absences, we would both be conscious he could really only leave in an obvious emergency - which is why he’s saying if you go to hospital, I expect not so much because he doesn’t care , but because my wife’s in hospital is a clear message to the employer that he’s not dicking them around, he’s needed at home.

periperimenopause · 07/08/2018 11:15

I think it is likely to be a migraine (I lose vision when the aura happens) and you might be unlucky (I always feel next day that my brain is bruised - only way I can describe it) and you have also got a sinus issue going on too which is often hormone related . However...I don't think you should leave it to chance regardless. Either get an appointment with a different GP and if that's not possible today then I think you should go to A&E. I understand what others are saying about not wasting their time, but I don't think it unreasonable given the symptoms can relate to something more serious.

When you say it has been migraine initially and then headache then another migraine...is the pain at its worst mainly concentrated behind one eye? Lasting between half an hour or more? Again, I'm not a professional but that could be cluster headaches. Only reason I suggest it is due to the severe pain coming and going. There are so many variants when it comes to cluster headaches but my husband has a bout every 3 years or so. It lasts a month and he has a permanent headache but then at around 2am most nights it becomes incredibly severe (He has a pen injection that he has to take right away and that deals with it to make it bearable) Purely a passing thought and unlikely but it just popped into my head due to your description.

Anyway, IMO, best get it seen to just in case, although unlikely, and I agree with PPs in that your DH needs to explain to his boss and support you with this.

frostyfingers · 07/08/2018 11:16

It may be worth considering an osteopath or chiropractor or even a remedial massage of sorts - my headaches were caused by tension/stiffness rather than anything more serious and it helped massively. Have you had your eyes checked recently too - that’s another possible cause. I sympathise, migraines are beyond awful, I hope you feel better soon.

Bluelady · 07/08/2018 11:20

I hope you're wrong, peekyboo. I also hope she's not flat out on the kitchen floor.

horrayforharoldlloyd · 07/08/2018 11:25

Tia, meningitis, migraine, headache, tumour.....the point is you can't know which of these you have. Please ignore those diagnosing from their armchairs. I have lost family members to stroke and meningitis who ignored their pain as "just" a long lasting headache. It wasn't. You have 2 young children and you can't risk it. Please get it checked out.

MigGril · 07/08/2018 11:27

I suffer regular migraines it's been terrible weather for them recently and loss of vision is not that unusual.

BUT This is unusual for OP it's a total change in her headaches from normal. I would present at A&E for this they will investigate. You can take sumatriptain while breastfeeding, but not codeine that has changed recently.

Hope your feeling better soon OP most of us migraines are suffering at the moment it's pants.

anyideasonthis · 07/08/2018 11:30

Op i hope you are OK. Your situation sounds awful. I think it sounds like you are very good at minimising your symptons and trying very hard not to bother anyone, but at the same time you are crying out for help. Please dont be a martyr. Phone 101 at 6pm and with these symptons I'd say they'll give you an appt at your out of hours clinic/ minor injuries and illness place this evening. Don't downplay your symptons ffs, tell them you are in pain and cannot carry on like this. I have had similar in the past and it's fucking awful. I hope you get dome support. Also be firmer with your DP, stop hoping he will scoop you up. Tell him what he needs to do to help you. My DP needs it spelling out too. If all else fails, try acupuncture. Does wonders for me. I hope you can get someone to watch the kids for a couple of hours. Good luck.

Lifeisabeach09 · 07/08/2018 11:31

Another HCP here.
Definitely get it checked out. Go to A & E.

anyideasonthis · 07/08/2018 11:32

Sorry... I mean you could try acupuncture AFTER you have been seen properly by Doctors, if you still need relief.

Motherhood101Fail · 07/08/2018 11:38

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 07/08/2018 11:42

Is this the same symptoms you've had with previous migraines? If not and just to be sure I think id ring the doctors and ask for an urgent scan and blood tests. The people saying carry on its just a headache are not doctors - unfortunately headaches are a symptom of a lot of thing so makes it difficult to diagnose much but being in this much pain for so long is NOT normal and they should do a mri or whatever to rule anything more serious out. Urgently. Please call them today.

Just to add I am prone to headaches and my baby is 8 months, we sleep trained her a month ago and I have had bad headaches since. I was feeding every 90 min in the night and she slept through after a few days training. Basically my hormones went crazy - my body had thought it was feeding a newborn then went to having a much older baby in the space of two days. But I wasn't worried as the same thing happened with my first, and it's a very specific type of headxhe so I knew what it was. It's eased off now I got my first period back. But if you've got any doubts at all about what's causing it please get a second opinion. I know of people who had serious neurological issues (brain tumour / bleed) that was missed as the doctor initially dismissed as women's problems

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 07/08/2018 11:42

Not trying to scare you but please get checked!

Rebecca36 · 07/08/2018 11:44

Co-codamol effervescent is marvellous and won't kill your baby.

Bibesia · 07/08/2018 11:45

There is a piercing you can get in your ear that can eliminate migraines

No, there really isn't. If it was that easy, migraines would be a thing of the past.

user1467250655 · 07/08/2018 11:48

Did you have a c section, and have you gone back on the pill? I had the same type of migraine after having my lg, lost vision in one eye etc. I didn't think much of it but when I went to get my contraceptive pill and mentioned it they refused to give me the pill again. Haven't been back on it since. Dr Said the migraine could have been due to the spinal blocks (never suffered with migraines before pregnancy)

CaptainBrickbeard · 07/08/2018 11:59

When I have had a migraine I have been unsafe to look after children. Unable to see in one eye, vomiting and in desperate pain. There is always, always some posters who come into these threads and admonish women to carry on well past the point of endurance.

Yes, some employers are unreasonable but women have posted on here with life threatening issues and still been told not to waste NHS resources/interrupt their husband’s work. The people who post this kind of dismissive stuff, often coupled with posts about how they had to care for six children whilst their leg was hanging off etc etc are incredibly arrogant and reckless. I can think of at least one poster who would have died if she had paid attention to such a response to her health question.

Go to hospital. Your husband will have to take a lot more time off work if you die and he is suddenly a single father.

In the interim, temporary analgesia which is safe for bf is to roll a cold coke can over your forehead and then drink the coke. It does provide a bit of relief. But please get checked.

gandalf456 · 07/08/2018 11:59

Whatever it is, I hope you get it sorted.

At the moment, you aren't just under the weather. These kinds of headaches are incapacitating. Your DH and his boss are just going to lump it. Your health and your family comes first and if you are too sick to.look after the kids, he is your second in command and has to step up. He would not get in his car and drive too work in your state. Expecting you to look after his kids like this is the same thing. He would have to do it if you got run over by a bus

rileyandchips · 07/08/2018 12:02

Check that you don't have a carbon monoxide leak in your house, this can cause similar symptoms. Get an audible carbon monoxide alarm today or get someone to come and check your boiler.

peekyboo · 07/08/2018 12:14

@Bluelady I was thinking the same

Bluelady · 07/08/2018 12:22

I do wish people would stop wittering on about piercings, acupuncture and drinking lots of water when every single HCP who's posted has told OP in no uncertain terms to go to A&E.

minmooch · 07/08/2018 12:29

Hi op. Another person agreeing that you should go to A&e now, not wait until later.

My son had mild headaches, dizziness and was sick. My gut instinct was that there was something wrong as this was so not normal for him. He had a massive brain tumour. Some people had thought I was overreacting when I took him to the hospital but I rang my gp, told her his symptoms and that I was taking him to A&E. Luckily she took my concerns very seriously and had warned the neuro team that we were coming in. For us unfortunately it was an horrendous outcome. Had I not gone then it would have been worse still.

My mother had a tia. She thought she was fine, I could see she wasn't right. She had had a stroke.

I'm not suggesting either of these is what you have but you have said that this is not normal for you and should therefore be taken seriously and checked out properly.

Please go.

Splodgeinc · 07/08/2018 12:37

ifyou have not had visual loss with migrane beire A and E now. not later. take kids if need be. it is probaly astress sleep deprevation migrane. but it could be a stroke or a bleed so you need to find out.

dont take codine and brestfeed its not safe due to the differences in metabolic rate. theycan prescribe oral moprhine for the pain if nothing else is working as it is metabolised osrt of the same in everyone.

dont start the conversation in A and E with "i think i have a migranel start it with "i have an unbearable headache for five days and my vison in one eye went"

ExBbqQueen · 07/08/2018 13:13

Hoping you have been seen OP.

I have to say I’m worried about the lack of update not from nosiness but concern.

cutitout · 07/08/2018 13:14

Go to a&e. It doesn't sound like a normal migraine or headache. You are vomitting and you said that that is continuous. GP wont be able to do much. If it needs investigating you will need to go to hospital anyway. Go there when you can to be on the safe side. Hope you are feeling better since last night.

cathyandclare · 07/08/2018 13:19

Hi @boomerang1 just naming you so that you get a notification. Please come back and check the many, many informed medical opinions on this thread and not just the first few negative posts.

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