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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to hospital for a second opinion and get some family and dh help

162 replies

boomerang1 · 07/08/2018 08:08

Hi all,

To cut a long story short I have had a headache for over a week. It started as a migraine and I lost my vision in one eye temporarily. I was sick and in a lot of pain for a day. That subsided but a less severe headache remained. I don't normally get migraines apart from during pregnancy (I'm not pregnant) and a couple in my teens, leading me to believe its hormonal for me.
During this week the headache is constantly there. It is a dull ache but quite painful and I feel sick and have been sick a few times. When I turn my head to look in a different direction it causes a sharp pain behind my eyes and at the top of my head. On a couple of days it has been worse and turned into a migraine again but goes back to the headache after a few hours or overnight. The pain is keeping me awake at night. This is not that bad though because I'm up 5 or 6 times anyway with my 9 month old.
I have taken paracetamol and ibuprofen but I can't take anything else as I'm still breastfeeding. Those don't take the pain away and only take the edge off.
I went to the doctor yesterday evening and he was no help. He pretty much said he didn't know what it was and as I was bf couldn't give me anything. He booked me in for blood tests in a weeks time ! But I honestly don't know how to cope with the pain for another week or more.
I have asked my dh to take time off work as I'm home with the 2 children (9 months and 5 years) I don't have any other offers of help. Dh is afraid to lose his job, even though I think if he explained he wouldn't, but I understand , so said he will only come home if I go to hospital. I'm thinking of doing this. I don't want to waste their time at all and never go unless it's very serious but I'm in pain, I can't get relief and I have 2 dc who I'm struggling to care for. The doctor did suggest it was sleep deprivation finally killing me as a bit of a joke, but I can't escape that despite trying sleep training, plus I'm not sure it is as I've been getting a bit more sleep than the previous 2 hours a night as iv given in to co sleeping.
Wibu to go to hospital once the children are in bed tonight to get a second opinion and also so dh has to care for the children so I get a small break? I wouldn't usually think like his as dh has to work and I get that but I'm in pain and sick and it's very hard with two young children.
I will just add I was a single parent to my first child so I know that others have to get on with it without support, I know that gets mentioned often on these threads.

Thanks all

OP posts:
princesstiasmum · 07/08/2018 08:56

My son gets this,it is Occular Migraine, can also be a sympton of a stroke, but he has it as you describe
Go back to your GP and he can refer you if neccessary to a specialist,or go to an optician, who will also advise you

PonderLand · 07/08/2018 08:56

Could you get an emergency gp appt for today? You'll have to take the kids with you unless there any other family members nearby that could be with the kids while you go?

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, if you're considering a&e then you need to trust your own judgement of the pain and get medical help. The posters saying it isn't an emergency have no way of knowing that for sure.

princesstiasmum · 07/08/2018 09:01

Peekboo you dont have to older to have a stroke. anyone can have one, but could also be stress related
It could be a sign of a TIA too,go back to your Dr

CharlotteFlax · 07/08/2018 09:06

I work in A&E and would not roll my eyes over you booking in with this. Week long pain affecting your sleep IS urgent and you should go and get this checked out. There are many ailments that we see in A&E that people might not think are accidents or emergencies but are perfectly legit reasons for being there. Please go.

endofthelinefinally · 07/08/2018 09:07

Plenty of younger people have strokes.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 07/08/2018 09:07

It is likely just the weather (in which case it will resolve tomorrow!) but if you are really worried and it is a headache unlike any previous headache you've had, it is reasonable to go to A&E.

You will have to wait around a bit, but they can ask the Neuro Reg to take a look at your eyes and reflexes, which will almost certainly be reassuring. Migraine can cause temporary vision loss, but so can other conditions affecting the brain or optic nerves - however, since you have a history of migraine it is probably that.

Have you been eating or drinking differently? Too hot for tea/coffee? Living on salad and ice cream? Apologies for stating the obvious but those things can precipitate a withdrawal migraine.

jocarter67 · 07/08/2018 09:07

Maybe go to the opticians op. If you genuinely feel that it is an emergency then you should go to A&E but be prepared to have to wait. Another option would be to go to the emergency Gp unit after hours or ring 111, a second opinion might be a good idea

CharlotteFlax · 07/08/2018 09:07

At the very least they can do blood tests there and then and will have the results within a couple of hours.

SavannahSky · 07/08/2018 09:09

If it's a medical emergency just go.... the kids will have to go with you op

minisoksmakehardwork · 07/08/2018 09:10

Yanbu that it's causing you significant pain and distress. Yanbu becasue as women, as parents, we are expected to push ourselves to the bottom of the list when it comes to taking care of things.

Your headache might be a 'harmless' migraine. It might be exacerbated by poor sleep.

It might be a tia

It might be meningitis.

The truth is, it isn't going away with rest and analgesia so deserves another look by a medical bod. Be that at the surgery, out of hours or even minor injuries and illnesses if you can't get in anywhere else.

And your dh needs to step up and take care of the children outside of working hours if he is not prepared to take time off so you can recover.

I know how debilitating migraines can be and I am glad my children are now older. But I have had to phone dh at work and tell him he needs to come home for the safety of the family as I was too ill. He came.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 07/08/2018 09:11

I cannot rule out a TIA as I am not a medical professional, so do what you need to do in that respect. I would ask for a phone consultation with someone at your GP surgery and talk about your concerns and I would see an optician.

As for your recovery, you need your husband to take over for a night at the very least. Handover your 5 year old to your husband when he walks in the door. Feed your 9 month old and put them down in another room. Put ear plugs in and go to sleep as far away as possible from all noise. Your baby will be fine for one night without you, this 12 hours will not harm them as they will be with someone who loves them and you need this to recover and function.

If you need to, use white noise if you can or download a relaxation track. (www.georginapeard.com has a lovely yoga one).

Other suggestions.. Avoid all potential food triggers... lots of clear drinks, fruit and vegetables, rice.

If you can, see an osteopath who might be able to help. Sometimes after a migraine, the body finds it hard to release the tensions that have built up.

reallybadidea · 07/08/2018 09:12

I hardly ever think people should go to A&E but I would definitely go for this. I would emphasise that this VERY unusual for you and not being helped by normal painkillers. Reiterate loss of vision. Ask them how they can be sure that it is nothing serious.

emummy · 07/08/2018 09:15

You would not be unreasonable to go to A&E. I was a specialist emergency doctor for many years. One of the things we always looked out for was a patient with migraines whose headache was not following the usual pattern for them. Please do go and be reviewed there. Yes it may be a result of having a baby and poor sleep etc but it would be wise not to assume that. Hope you are soon feeling better

peekyboo · 07/08/2018 09:17

If it's a stroke and you had another, your kids would be alone in the house with you if it was a bad one.

I know that's awful, a horrible thing to mention, but it happened to my aunt and she had passed away whole babysitting.

Please, treat it as an emergency, it's already been too long. Ask if the kids can come to your emergency appt, get your husband home from work, make yourself be taken seriously.

If it was a stroke, you are very much more likely to have another if it was left untreated.

If it's 'only' migraine, still get it checked.

Don't allow yourself to be caught up in the narrative of people who want to pat you on the head and tell you it's just part of being tired. A week long migraine is not normal, and neither us losing your sight.

Your husband and Dr both need a kick up the backside.

Bezm · 07/08/2018 09:17

It sound exactly like the type of ongoing headache I get when I'm absolutely knackered. Starts with a migraine and loss of vision, then continues with the type of headache you're describing. You are exhausted. Make sure you're drinking plenty of water, it's easy to get dehydrated in this weather. Keep up with the painkillers, paracetamol then after a couple of hours ibuprofen, another couple of hours paracetamol so you're taking a different pain relief every couple of hours.
If you still have the pain in a couple of days, go back to your GP. You almost certainly have not had a TIA, so don't be panicked into thinking the worst! Your GP would have checked for that at your last visit. A and E is not the place to go. It's not an accident, and it isn't an emergency.

bionicnemonic · 07/08/2018 09:18

Please also make sure you’re hydrated...knock back a quick pint of water and a cup of tea or coffee in case you’re out of routine. I’m not trying to minimise how you feel, but make sure you don’t get worse Flowers

BoreOfWhabylon · 07/08/2018 09:20

The few HCP professionals on here are telling OP to go to A&E. I agree with them.

Quartz2208 · 07/08/2018 09:21

Yes I have to say you need a second opinion - the doctor had no idea.

sar501 · 07/08/2018 09:22

So finally someone who actually works in a&e has confirmed OP is not BU. Just proves that there are some very judge posters on this thread. It seems that some mumsnetters feel like you should be about to keel over and die before you dare step foot in an a&e

CommanderDaisy · 07/08/2018 09:23

I don't know if you can aspirin while breastfeeding, but if you can it is often more effective than ibuprofen and paracetamol for migraines.
I would think that a migraine for over a week is an emergency tbh.
I hope you get some help for it soon.

applesisapple5 · 07/08/2018 09:25

This sounds so awful, you poor thing. Paracetamol and ibuprofen wil do nothing for a migraine.

Try aspirin at the beginning of it, otherwise you can take Sumatriptan which TBH the Dr should have given you, you can buy it OTC it's £8 for two tablets. (You should ask yr Dr but it's standard medication for migraine)

Much better than Migraleve.
I've been taking it while BF, as I'm getting migraines from sleep deprivation and dehydration.

Timeisslippingaway · 07/08/2018 09:25

I had to start using no ammonia hair dye because so was ending up with a migraine for 3 or 4 days everytime I dyed my hair, it happened 3 times before I clicked on. Could it be something like that?

emummy · 07/08/2018 09:28

An emergency can be an ongoing medical condition that needs extra input to sort it out, it is not always something happening just that day. It is of course impossible to know from an online post; but some things have the potential to be serious and therefore better to be safe than sorry.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 07/08/2018 09:30

i think I would try a second GP but I do think you need to be seen. It sounds like you also need to somehow get a full nights sleep. Does your baby take a bottle or sippy cup?

barbiegrl · 07/08/2018 09:34

Hugs...I suffer from migraines and have had to go to hospital once or twice for painkiller on a drip. Go and get checked out that it is not something more, but when I am going through an episode I take my pills then jump into a shower-for some reason a full force shower that is really hot releases some tension get your head under there and take deep breaths in and out (obviously you are going to have to wait till dh gets home). Sending you big hugs as I have been where you are xx

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