School uniform issues....

[jelly449]

Dh has a son who is starting primary in September. However he's spent the last 2 years going to the nursery attached part time and has worn the uniform to go to nursery.

Now dh does not mind contributing towards ds uniform at all. It's only fair. I have 2 dcs at school and we pay for their uniform obviously so contributing towards it really isn't an issue.

BUT here is where the issue lies.....

Dss mum wants to buy top of the range uniform - I.e from the more expensive shops. The school he goes to also has the logo sweat shirt and jumper which is optional. She wants him wearing these also.

The sweatshirts are £7.50 each. The jumpers are £15 each.

She wants him to have have 5 each of these! As she won't have time to wash them in the week apparently.

That's £56 just on these 2 items! He also needs 5 pairs of trousers but she won't do George or Tesco.....then there's pe kit, school shoes, underwear etc....

On top of this, she's just bought him an £80 winter jacket which we are expected to go halves on.

All in all I'm guessing she wants around £150 off us for uniform.

My dcs uniform is all from Asda. They are older and I know it's pointless buying more expensive stuff. It's all marked or covered in paint after a couple of weeks....or it's gone missing.

Dh has suggested to her that we buy his trousers, shoes shoes and p.e kit instead - as in actuality take him shopping for it. But she's said no, she just wants half the money.

How would you go about this? To me....it's such a lot. New uniform for my 2dcs wouldn't cost that much. But I'm not getting involved.

She does get maintenance by the way though I know that makes no difference as it doesn't cover uniform costs really. But I just want anyone reading to know that dh does pay for his son and he stays with us eow for a full weekend and one night on the other weekend. Plus half the school holidays usually.

He is her only child and is always dressed in new clothing. She goes mad if anything comes home marked etc. All our stuff for him is from primark....just the same as my 2dcs.

Is the ex unreasonable to expect us just to pay this? I know if we went out at bought him 5 pairs of George school trousers, she wouldn't let him wear them to school.

The issue is going to come up when dh drops him off later and I just thought I could get some advice on how to handle it....or just to pay it....I don't know. Just feel it's slightly extreme that's all.

Tell them you don’t have it and will happily shop at Asda for essentials etc

Stupid people, £150! What arseholes

Tell them if she wants her precious child to wear only branded clothes then she should pay

I spend about £350-£400 on a years worth of uniform. The logoed stuff is much better quality and lasts all year and I get 10 sets as sometimes DH and I are extremely busy at work so just don't have time to do washing etc. It's her decision at the end of the day if she doesn't have time to be reordering uniform every term or do washing every day.

Yep say you can't afford it. She'll soon learn that there's nothing wrong with supermarket schoolwear the rate most of them get through it. I do agree with 5 sets when they're younger, hell my teen son has 5 each of trousers and shirts. I buy secondhand embroidered jumpers if I can get my hands on them too.

ken adams just because you spend silly money doesn’t mean everyone else can

I would give her two options

1. You buy the trousers, shoes, p.e kit etc as you've already suggested
2. Some money towards it but not 150 because you can't afford it.

He doesn't need 5 jumpers!
My Dd has 2 cardigans, 1 trouser, 2 skirts, 2 pinnifores and 5 tops. I do buy enough uniform for 5 days just because things go missing or need to go in the bin after being ruined by board markers. I only shop in Matalan and asda though so really doesn't cost much
Everything gets lost or ruined at primary school, I'm not sure how my Dd manages to get in the state she does most days.

The only reason I've mentioned the 5 sets for the week and her not having to wash them is because she works from home and that's only 2 days a week so I'm all fairness I think she probably could.

But you can literally go to Asda and buy 5 sweatshirts for £7.

I'd thought of dh maybe saying something along the lines of how about he has 3 logo ones and we will buy him 5 sets of each from Asda and then he will have more than enough.

I do understand the quality is better at the higher range shops. But we can't afford that. My dcs don't get that (I'll even go as far to admit that some of their stuff is second hand!).

Yeah probably have to be the 'we can't afford it' route. Which isn't a lie tbh. We can't afford that.

The logoed stuff is much better quality and lasts all year

Not or our school it isn’t. The sweatshirts look faded and bobbly after about three washes

The logo polo shirts are thankfully optional but not noticeably any different material to Sainsburys ones where you can get two 3 packs of plain ones for the same price as one logo one

If you are “not getting involved” why are you on here? Logo stuff far better quality and will last longer - we always bought the quality stuff and it always lasted a full year unless he grew out of it

I buy my DS logo'd jumpers at £10 each as I think they look smarter and don't want him standing out from everyone else (95% wear logo). We started off with 3 and ended up with 7 by the end of the year. Everything else is fair game and I'll happily get from supermarkets.

The expensive uniform and coat novelty will wear off when everything comes back covered in markers or goes missing. Maybe get him a bag, p.e kit, shoes, lunch box, water bottle and let her sort the rest out.

I like to use the phrase "It's not in my budget" rather than "I can't afford it."

She is being ridiculous. If she wants her child to have 5 logo jumpers/polo shirts then fine she can pay for them. FIVE???

She won’t buy his trousers from the likes of Tesco or Asda. What’s the difference between the expensive ones in the school uniform shop and the ones in Asda, apart from the price?
This school year just gone, my ds had two pairs of trousers from Sainsbury’s that lasted him a full school year without getting holes in. £9 for 2 pairs.

By the time her ds is in Year 6 she will look back and think how silly she was! I wouldn’t pay all that money purely because he doesn’t actually need all that uniform! If she wants to buy it out of her own pocket then fine.

Actually the logo polo shirts are a bit of a waste in winter as no one sees the logo when there’s a sweatshirt over the top!

Admittedly my kid had five sweatshirts when he was in reception as he got them filthy. But three were from the charity shop

I would say three of each would be enough, she can shove things in washing machine, hang up and dry overnight. Haven't we all done that? Gone are the days when drying things was a problem. It's hot now but I expect she has central heating which will be on in the winter.

Where does she want the non logo items to come from because in my experience, tesco boys trousers are very good quality, reinforced knees. This year I've ordered from George as Tesco have stopped online ordering and their trousers are even better! I doubt m+s or JL are any different in quality but cost twice the price. I buy a few logoed items for school trips/photos but five is excessive.

I would work out the cost for 3 sets of stuff and give her 50% of that and simply say "our budget only stretches to 3 sets of basic uniform plus one logo sweatshirt" or similar. If she wants to pay more to upgrade her choice!

I would also only pay for 50% of you mid price coats etc, it's her lifestyle choice to kit him out in expensive gear and his Dad doesn't need to find it.

The other option is to increase maintenance and stop going halves on this stuff so it's completely up to her how she budgets!

@Seniorcitizen1 not getting involved in that I haven't said how ridiculous I think it is in all honesty.

@funinthesun18 I totally agree. I'm just a few years ahead and can see how totally pointless it is. However from her point of view, he's an only child and just starting school so it's clearly a big deal and rightly so - I'm not judging her at all.

I just think it's cheeky to expect dh to cough up to her standards if I'm honest.

Just had a chat about it anyway and dh is going to suggest taking him shopping for trousers, shoes and pe kit and he will cover the cost of those things. Fingers crossed she might agree to it.

I personally but uniform through out the year. If I do a food shop, every now and then I'll go over to the uniform section and get a couple of bits - mostly for the following year just so I've got them and I've said to dh I'll start doing the same for dss also.

*buy

It's a bit of a myth that the logo stuff from the school is better quality - ours used to be and then they changed supplier. New quality is very poor, we much prefer the sweatshirts from Asda and they're far cheaper.

But multiple versions of each item is just silly and excessive and hugely wasteful. She'll probably also be the type throwing away perfectly good clothing next summer so that she can go out and buy it all new again for the new term.

Five jumpers is ridiculous. Two would be perfectly sufficient.

There's nothing wrong with supermarket clothing brands for primary school uniform. Say four or five shirts or polo shirts (won't cost much) and a couple of pairs of trousers etc. Wash and wear throughout the week as everyone else has to do.

You might have less choice for the stuff that needs to be logoed, but that's all.

If she really won't listen then perhaps tell her how much you are willing to contribute, maybe give her that and if she wants all of the expensive stuff she will have to pay for it.

It is secondary school where the really expensive uniform often kicks in.

Upto your DH and not really upto you to dictate what brand she buys. She's free to dress him how she likes. Most here wear the branded jumpers so those that don't stand out.

I just think it's cheeky to expect dh to cough up to her standards if I'm honest

Given he has him for just a few days a month then he can't really complain how she parents as she's left to do the bulk of it. I'm guessing child support is minimal too if it doesn't even cover school uniform.

I'm just a few years ahead and can see how totally pointless it is. However from her point of view, he's an only child and just starting school so it's clearly a big deal and rightly so - I'm not judging her at all.

It’s one big novelty at the moment I get that. I still buy my children logo tops as I think they look nicer but I’ve just never thought of buying 5. I must have more time on my hands that I am able to do laundry mid week