To ask for positive breastfeeding stories?

[Tallpinetrees]

I'm currently pregnant with my first and obviously keen to get as much information as possible to be prepared. I've been asked if I'm going to give breastfeeding a try, and I hope so!

A couple of people have told me their birth "horror" stories, which were quite scary, but I really enjoyed reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and all the stories of women confidently and quietly (or not so quietly!) giving birth.

AIBU to ask for some encouraging and inspiring stories about breastfeeding?

My abiding memory of breastfeeding is with my first daughter, taking the view, as I had done throughout the pregnancy, this can't be hard looking at some of the dummies who do it. I set her feeding and the RN midwife, a military hospital, stuck her head round and got an eyeful from ten feet away, it was like one of those geysers in Yellowstone!
Seriously, reading some of these pages, stop getting so uptight about everything, babies have been born for millions of years, you're not that special.

DIdnt hurt me one little bit, barely felt it, I loved it but it was unfortunately short lived. Baby was throwing up every other feed so I was BF every 1-2 hours round the clock. When he started coughing/gagging at the beast he had to be put on a special formula in order to gain weight (all in all I managed 5 weeks). Wished it was different as I would stil be doing it now he is only 8 weeks :(

In what has been a fairly complicated existence, bf has been pleasingly simple. I looked at pictures of bf babies and how they were positioned and used that Lansinoh before and after every feed.

I've bf three babies, one with chronic reflux that he was medicated for until he was 3, another who is autistic and the third who had tongue tie.

I wish the rest of my life was as simple as bf

Also, no special 'breastfeeding clothes' [other than bras], just don't wear dresses. Lift top, apply baby, top / tshirt/ blouse/ hoody covers boob. I saw a woman wear a blanket type bib thing around her neck and over her torso to feed her baby on a bus. I felt so unhappy that she felt she had to cover her body and baby in this way in order to merely feed them whilst out of their home.

I’m currently feeding my 6 week old DD, she’s my second baby.

First time round I fed for 15 months - absolutely no issues, DD1 was rarely ever sick and is still the same now. First 4 weeks I would say were hard but I didn’t have anyone around who had bf before me in my family so it was a lot of learning!

The badass breastfeeder has a good podcast and Dr Jack Newman has just released a good bf book, both describe normal newborn behaviour etc and troubleshooting as well.

Best of luck xx

Had a horrific birth but breastfed really easily- no pain, loads of milk, latched easily. Did it for 2 years.

Absolutely fucking hated it and will not be doing it again eith DC2 but it was piss easy from a physical point of view!

It doesn't have to be hard or hurt.

I had a tricky start with both my babies but since the 8 week point with ds and 6 week mark with dd, it's been easy peasy. Fed ds until he voluntarily stopped just after his 2nd birthday. Still feeding 6 month old dd. I haven't always loved it... especially in this weather on when ds wouldn't take a bottle of expressed milk until he was 10 months... but it is just so easy!

Just remember that neither you nor the baby have ever done this. So it will take time to learn/adjust.

Expect some discomfort and pain to begin with. Use your own breastmilk to help nipples heal.
It’s much easier than washing bottles, much easier for sleep feeding at night

Oh, and I didn't know a single other person who had breastfed (some friends of friends or wives of friends but that was it).

Just read up and know what is normal breastfed baby behaviour as it can be quite alarming and make you think you don't have enough milk etc.

My DS had nothing but breastmilk for 6 months / either direct from me or expressed from a bottle. He is now 6.
He has never had an ear infection and only 1-2 very minor episodes stomach upsets (not even proper D&V). I like to think that BF helped his immune system

DS has just weaned himself at 2y4m. Our breastfeeding journey was overall very smooth- he was sleepy when born so I syringe fed him expressed colostrum, but within a couple of days he'd got the idea and we never looked back. I think the thing I didn't realise was that neither of us knew what we were doing so we had to learn together, finding out what positions worked for us etc. DS never had a bottle but I never found it particularly restrictive, I never wanted to be away from him anyway!

Cluster feeding I didn't actually mind, got some good box sets and wrote off a few hours! Now pregnant with DC2 and will do the same.

My dS was born in central London, awful birth, we were both injured. African midwives in hospital were amazing, told me to bin the NCT sheets I had brought in with me and they latched my son on for me. Showed me how to hand express colostrum and feed him from a syringe as he couldn’t suck. They helped me when my milk came in. After 5 days in hospital we went home and I was not very mobile so we just sat and fed and fed and fed. He had been over 9 pounds so needed a lot of milk. Never had problems with supply or mastitis or anything. Due to my birth injuries I knew he would be an only so I fed him until he had an operation at 11 months and I was advised to stop as it was easier for his recovery in hospital to be bottle fed. Best thing I ever did. I’m not anti formula though and totally understand why some people choose or need to bottle feed. I was just lucky I got good support early on. Good luck OP.

I found breastfeeding challenging at first but got some support at a local baby cafe that made all the difference, so I would say if you are struggling don't hope it will get better get help! And ask for lots of opinions midwife, health visitor, nct etc until you are happy. I fed my little one for just over a year, and I really enjoyed it. No faff with formula was fab and my DD was not ill at all in her first year which must have been helped by feeding.

I have some tips.

1. In Hospital when they are showing you how to latch, get DH to video it on the phone. I was a little zombie-ed our post birth but I could watch it back and try it at night and it clicked.
2. You will need some element of bloody mindedness. There is a point at the 10-12 day mark when you are leaking from everywhere and the baby is constantly attached to you and you are entirely WTF. In my case it helped that lots of people around me said, ah yes I remember that time myself. It was so shit. And offered to hold the baby while I slept. My MIL cooked and cleaned for a good month so I just lay in bed and fed. What I mean by this is that a half decent support structure is really really important. There’s been a gazillion threads recently about the lack of BF-ing in the UK and it seems to me that some of it is cyclical- people don’t breastfeed so can’t offer the next generation advice and so on. Whereas in my family and amongst extended friends and relatives (and in my community), formula feeding is almost unheard of so everyone chips in etc.
3. After six weeks you can try to express (I liked to do it about 90 mins after DS had gone to bed) and then his next feed would be a bottle feed from his Daddy and I would get a slightly longer chunk of sleep.
4. Sleep. Ah. Sleep. Play the long game on sleep. Everyone is obsessed with STTN. Create good habits. Get into a bedtime routine. So roughly at the same time (and I did say roughly) about 30-45 mins after a feed, dim the lights, run a warm bath, bathe him, change his clothes and read a book and feed in a darkened room. And then keep him in that room till the morning. This is a bit boring and deprives you of a social life in the early weeks (all nappy changes in dim light too). But in a month DS1 and 2 knew night from day and even if they fed 2-3 times at night or more they always always went back to sleep. This was a godsend.
5. Feeding to sleep is fine for a newborn. Around the six month mark you can start to break the habit. The No cry Sleep Solution is great for breastfeeding mums and very gentle.
6. My Mum and MIL both had an excellent suggestion. Instead of a routine I forced on the baby to have a routine for myself. So we did this:

Wake up at 6:30 everyday. Feed. Wait for poop explosion. Change into ‘day clothes.’ In the meanwhile DH would get ready for work. Make me tea and toast. Put away laundry. Put in a fresh lot. Make me a sandwich for lunch. I would hand baby to DH for cuddles and Daddy time. Eat tea and toast. Have a shower. Do any tidying and jobs. Make sure changing bag was packed. Take baby back, DH leaves for work. We are all dressed. I am showered. I have eaten. I have lunch in the fridge. The bag is packed.

Then I would try to carve out 3-4x20 min breaks at first. In the first one I would chop stuff for dinner and do any laundry/jobs.

Second 20 mins- make the dinner.

3rd and 4th- drink tea and take deep breaths and read a magazine/do something I did in my adult life before baby.

So I kept my expectations quite low but we had a clean house, food, and I didn’t feel overwhelmed with this.

As part of the ‘Mummy not baby routine’, I would put him down roughly at the same time and eat lunch. If he grizzled, he grizzled.
Then roughly at the same time we would go for a two hour walk.
And then I said at the start, bedtime roughly at the same time.

Soon these nicely gelled into a ‘routine’ for me and the baby fed when the baby fed.

Hope some of this helps in practical terms!

Thanks so much everyone! Sounds like I need perseverance and patience the most - and expert help on speed-dial if things go pear shaped! It's great to know what I can expect and I'll definitely look into what support groups are available in my area. Thanks :)

I'm currently breastfeeding my first child who's 11 months. It's not been a walk in the park by any means, struggling to latch first of all, weight loss, thrush, aversion etc and the first few weeks in particular were hellish. It does get easier and what got me through it was determination and stubbornness and pride at the fact that my baby was growing and thriving! Have an open mind, take things as they come and find a local support group (mine was hugely helpful). Accept any offer of help but ignore unsolicited advice! Eat well, eat cake and surrender yourself to the initial cluster feeding- a good box set or two will pass the time when you are stuck on the sofa with a baby attached to you! Good luck!

I hoped for a physiological birth and ended up being induced at 40+15 and needing an emergency forceps delivery under epidural after an attempt to manually rotate my back-to-back baby failed. Baby wasn’t breathing on arrival so we didn’t get the skin to skin I’d hoped for either as he had to be given oxygen then whizzed off for painkillers and monitoring.

Telling you that for 2 reasons...

1. I had expected to be disappointed if I didn’t have a ‘natural’ delivery and when it came to it, all that mattered in terms of making it a positive experience was the respect and warmth and compassion I was treated with throughout (awesome birth partners and just amazing kind skilful NHS staff), and having a live baby at the end. I remember lying in theatre being stitched afterwards feeling so grateful for the team supporting me, and wishing I’d not wasted time worrying about controlling how my birth went, or thinking staff might not respect my preferences.

2. I had fully expected breastfeeding to be tricky and sore for the first month, and I was terrified being separated after birth would affect our ability to get the hang of it. We had brilliant midwife support, and it just seemed to work straight away. So even if the circumstances are not ‘ideal’, it can still work out just fine. More than that, it was really healing for me to see my body just doing a brilliant job when I felt battered and broken by labour (extended episiotomy is not my favourite fanny-related experience!!)

It’s continued to be a joy - magic for getting him to sleep, cheering up bad moods, and the cuddles are second to none. Still going strong 11 months on.

Good luck with your new human - becoming a mother is the best thing that’s happened to me (in a life with lots of lovely things)

Also yes yes yes to finding a local support group (lots will welcome pregnant women intending to breastfeed so you can connect with other local mums in advance), and also to making sure you eat and drink plenty and do eyebrows at any of the ‘lose the baby weight’ brigade who suggest restricting your food intake. You need to eat to keep your supply up and your baby happy

I've had four children that in total breast fed for 5 years. Honestly, never a sore nipple, mastitis or pain. For some women it is easy. I do appreciate that's not everyone's experience. Remember the tips for coping if you have any problems, but don't go into it worried. And if you end up bottle feeding, no guilt.

I’ve had two very positive breastfeeding experiences. I fed my ds for 17 months until he self-weaned and had no issues with him at all. (He was a failed indication and EMCS and milk came in on day 3.)
My dd is still feeding now at 8months and I fed her through her stay in SCBU via expressing and tube feeding and had no issues establishing supply.
I have loved breastfeeding and enjoyed the closeness and how easily the children settle. (I had very complicated pregnancies and deliveries so am pleased this went well)
Ask for support if you need it especially when starting and enjoy your new baby!

Oh and embrace safe cosleeping. Total sanity/sleep saver!

I had an emcs, dd latched on strahghtbaway in recovery. Never had any pain or any hassle. Fed until age 2 1/2. Some people really do have an easy time.

It's many years ago now, but I absolutely loved breastfeeding, it's such an amazing bonding experience. However it didn't start off that way. My nipples were really flat and my dd had trouble latching. One of the midwives mentioned nipple shields which I'd never heard of, and they solved the problem. I used them for a couple of months and by then my nipples had stretched enough not to need them anymore. It also helped stop me getting cracked or sore nipples. I just fed on demand and at night fed in bed on my side which was lovely. I fed for 11 months until my dd basically weaned herself off (and liked to bite me, just to hear me scream lol, she had all her teeth by then). Oh and get yourself a v-shaped or c-shaped pillow for when you're sitting down so that your baby can rest on that rather than you having to hold them up. Once they get a bit bigger it's often too tiring to always hold them in the right position.

As someone else mentioned I won't sugarcoat...the first month or so is hard. But once established it's so lovely. I loved the reduced faff of boob over bottles. The fact milk is always ready and on supply and the loveliness of being so close to the baby. However, firm believer of happy mum happy baby. So whAtever feels best for you and your baby, and only you will know! Also, if boobs/ nipples are sore breasts shells are a complete life saver. Good luck

My breast feeding bible was a book called, “Breast is Best.” I read it straight through when I was pregnant and then dipped into it when I needed support. It is still available on Amazon.

I breast fed all my three until 2 years. I was determined from the start and never considered formula. None of them had any problems latching on or feeding but my first had awful colic for the first few months and I ended up with cracked nipples but even that did not put me off.

As others have said, prioritise getting plenty of sleep and rest and eat well. I was always ravenous and can remember feeding and eating myself at the same time!

If baby seems hungry or thirsty you simply offer a breast. Your supply will increase with demand and your milk content will adjust according to the weather, ie if it is very hot your milk becomes more watery to quench baby’s thirst. Incidentally, your milk is always more watery at the start of a feed and then becomes creamier to nourish baby.

When my second was five months old and enjoying some solids my sister had her first baby. He was induced and a few weeks premature. Sister was in a bit of a state and upset that her ds was so weak and her milk in poor supply. Hospital had been giving him formula which did not help her milk supply. Her baby, less than a week old just slept and never asked for feeds. We were both staying with our parents for a week (I live 200 miles away.) With Mum’s help we made a plan. Every 2 hours for the first few days sister would feed her baby and then give him to me to top up. This continued throughout the night. Her baby got stronger, sister’s milk supply increased with the extra stimulation and baby subsequently fed more. Success.

After the week was up I went home. It took a few days for my milk supply to adjust down again but it was worth it. My sister took her baby to be weighed. He had put on a whole pound that week though my sister did not tell the midwife why! I come from a farming family so it seemed the natural thing to do though our husbands found it rather amusing at first.

I hope you do manage to bf and enjoy the experience. It gives you a fantastic sense of achievement and it really does make a difference to baby’s immune system.