"I work full-time"

[Kukiekoo]

My partner has recently started saying "I work full-time" as an excuse to do nothing around the house. I have managed to ignore it...... Until tonight when I lost it!!! I work 19 hours, we have 3 children, I do everything...... Everything..... In our house. I make sure he has a healthy meal ready for when He gets home. All I refuse to do is pick up his dirty laundry off the floor and put in laundry basket. He sometimes puts washing on in the morning, if I have left it outside bathroom door in a basket (if it's not in a basket he doesn't do it). Im fed up of being his mother and I have told him this.
He leaves for work tomorrow (hasn't worked away for 3 years). His jeans wasn't washed, his work trousers weren't washed. So he put a load on (left a pair of dirty wash trousers out). Decided he would iron himself which was fine, I picked up some shirts tht were airing off and said 'r u taking all your shirts' and got a really sarky reply. I said 'fine just please yourself, could u do the other few things to iron' to which he replied........ "I work full time"!!!!! To which I said don't start that s**t with me, I work part time and do everything else. He then said 'I pay every bill in this house'. (for info, this is MY house, I bought both our cars, I bought our new caravan, I bought all our furniture, windows, the suitcase he's taking tomorrow(!!!!!!!!) basically everything of any expense as he is terrible with money, and I never throw this at him because its all ours).
How would you react if your other half said this? What should I reply? I lost it and totally became childish because I was so angry. Every month we put money into a joint account, it pays everything (Xmas, fuel, food, bills, etc) he does put in a lot more than me but he earns a lot more than me (he's in oil, I'm a receptionist). He still has A LOT more to himself a month than I do (about 6 times as much) so it's not like he is being drained of his money!
I just need some comebacks for when he fires this at me. I'm so angry and upset right now!
Tia xx

My mortgage is paid off, it was paid by myself before I got with him. I recieved insurance money, it paid my mortgage and when I got with him the rest was spent on 'us'..... Cars, holidays, paying his over draft 3 times, furniture, kitchen, etc

Why are you bank rolling this loser?

So he works 60-70 hours a week to your 19? Do the man’s laundry, for goodness sake

Why should she!?

I don't currently work. DH is out at work 6am to 7pm five days a week and also does eighteen on-call weekends a year. We have four DC, one of whom is disabled, and the usual house/pets/after school activities that come with having a family.

Before I gave up work we agreed that during his working hours the care of the DC was my work and therefore my main priority with housework on the side if I had time/opportunity. We also agreed that after work and on weekends the DC and the house are a shared responsibility.

We don't keep a tally of who does what but a typical weekday sees me waking DC up and feeding them, taking them to school, taking the toddler to a club or activity for a bit, doing some light housework (vacuuming, making beds, opening curtains, putting a laundry load on to wash and hanging one out to dry, washing dishes), collecting DC from school, taking them to their clubs and bringing them home again, making dinner, doing reading/spellings/homework. DH usually gets home from work not long after they've finished their dinner at which point he pitches in with reading/spellings/homework by listening to DC read while he has a post-work coffee and a sit down then he help with bathtime, stories, and bedtime. Once they're in bed one of us makes our dinner while the other tidies up the living room and afterwards one of us does the dishes while the other gets the DCs bags/clothes ready for the following day. On a weekend, the jobs fall to whoever is there and available at the time.

One thing that helped hugely was to outsource everything we can afford to outsource. I have a gardener who is not at all expensive, £8 an hour and he comes for two hours once a fortnight in spring/summer to weed, cut the grass, and tidy up. The windows are done by the window cleaner. A company comes in to clean the oven e Rey three months. I get a cleaner in every six to eight weeks to do a clean around the places I don't get to during my daily run over with the vacuum cleaner. The wheelie bin gets jet washed once a month.

Your DP needs a kick up the arse and he needs to accept that he has shared responsibilities, paying a larger percentage of the bills doesn't absolve him of these.

@youcantstopthesignal. I do everything u have listed except wash wheelie and outside of windows. Plus I work 3 days. I'm done.