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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is just a bit of a bitch?

81 replies

candylane1 · 03/08/2018 22:56

I only work from 11-3 Monday to Thursday but full day on a Friday.
Everyday I take my 2 dd's to school then go straight to the gym, home for a shower then off to work which means I usually do the school run in gym clothes so leggings and a sports top and light jacket. On a Friday I have to be in for 9 so am dressed in a suit or smart dress and full makeup. Anyway there is one mum in the playground who always gives me funny looks but I've never known why until today. I have the whole 6 weeks off for the holidays but this week my dd's are attending summer club where this woman's ds is also going and today she made it clear what her problem is. She was standing next to me then just turned and asked why I never bother to get dressed before leaving the house I was shocked and explained that I go to the gym every morning and because our house is quite far out I just go straight after drop off, she jut replied with 'ok' but I could tell she wasn't happy with my answer. Does she expect me to get dressed, drop the kids off, go home and change for the gym, go home again to change and then go to work? For what its worth she only drops off mon-weds and never picks up her ds (he has a childminder) so I guess she has never seen me in smart clothes, hair brushed and makeup on but even so she has made me feel like shit and I very self conscious of what I'm going to be wearing everyday. AIBU?

OP posts:
ElinorOliphantIsCompletelyFine · 04/08/2018 05:15

She's a moron, don't give her another thought

Pengggwn · 04/08/2018 05:27

What a loon.

I would look down at my body and be like, "What, am I wearing fig leaves over my boobs and my fanny? I thought these were clothes. Is this what passes for naked in your house?" Then I would ignore her forever.

blearyeyedbear · 04/08/2018 06:00

Ignore her. Well over half the mums at my dcs' school turn up in gym wear and go straight to the gym after drop off. I envy them!!!

Bluntness100 · 04/08/2018 06:08

I'm going to assume you've got a good figure and she's envious.

You clearly are dressed and dressed just fine, no worries.

I'm not sure she's a bitch as such, I'd say she was envious which made her bitchy.

This sort of thing never fails to surprise me, even though it's relatively common.

Ignore her, keep dressing as you are, do not give her the satisfaction of changing what you do. That's what she's hoping for.

It's her issue, don't make it yours.

Mmer · 04/08/2018 06:22

Why is she so obsessed with you? I wouldn't care if someone came to school in a sack, and I certainly would never say anything.

EdisonLightBulb · 04/08/2018 06:31

Gym wear for every day is a thing here. And I live in a very boring small northern town not am commuter belt enclave in Surrey.

FWIW, my sil does live in the aforementioned area and she says it is also full of school run mum's in their leisure wear.

Ignore her OP, she sounds jealous of your gym honed bod, and that it looks like you only
work one day a week.

RunningOverTheSameOldGround · 04/08/2018 06:34

Confused but you have got dressed. I thought all mums wore activewear to do the school run anyway. A funny song on YouTube told me so. So it must be true Grin.

Oysterbabe · 04/08/2018 06:34

I am so jealous of people who get chance to go to the gym. I used to love zoning out and running on a treadmill.
One day.

RandomUsernameHere · 04/08/2018 06:43

She sounds horrible and totally weird.
I wear workout clothes most mornings to do the school run, as do at least half the other mums, it's completely normal!

restingbemusedface · 04/08/2018 06:44

She sounds jealous. It must be obvious that you’re heading to the gym (because of your clothes). She’s probably never set foot in one.

mineisarossini · 04/08/2018 07:08

She is jealous.

Wide berth and ignore, she needs to get a life.

bimbobaggins · 04/08/2018 07:15

Just reply “I didn’t know I was under surveillance “

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/08/2018 07:27

I have read several times on here that women, who work feel judged and are ostracised in the playground by sahms. Perhaps she thought you were a sahm and she didn’t mean dressed but dressed for work and it was poorly phrased. Generally people are not wishing us ill. The looks could simply be her confusion.

Right now you’re seeing this all through the lense and assumption that she is a bitch. This isn’t necessarily the case. From what she said and how she has acted you have no idea what she thinks and your self consciousness could be all about you.

LellyMcKelly · 04/08/2018 07:28

Perhaps she’s barely given it a seconds thought, but she’s not neurotypical, or is shy, and is just trying desperately to think of something to say - something that didn’t come across as she’d intended. I genuinely can’t imagine that anyone is that bothered by what a complete stranger wears.

stressedoutpa · 04/08/2018 08:03

Who is she, the clothes police?

I would stand well clear of her next time. I'd rather be dressed in sports gear than be a judgemental weirdo.

IceCreamFace · 04/08/2018 08:39

YANBU what a very peculiar thing to say. Who gets dressed up to drop their kids off at school? Even if you just liked wearing gym clothes that would be fine.

FarFlungFairy · 04/08/2018 10:53

I think you should do the next pick up dressed like this!Grin

To think she is just a bit of a bitch?
sunsunsunsunsun · 04/08/2018 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liverbird10 · 05/08/2018 00:48

She's a body bitchtroll. Ignore her.

liverbird10 · 05/08/2018 00:49

*nosy, not body!!! Why does stupid autocorrect do this?! Sad

CSIblonde · 05/08/2018 01:38

As pp said, you are dressed OP: in workout gear. I'd have shot her a death stare & said , "if you can't tell the difference between pyjamas & gym gear, maybe an eye test is in order" & then walked off. Purely because IME if you don't squash that kind of bitchiness immediately you become their favourite target.

Skittlesandbeer · 05/08/2018 01:45

I know I would have responded exactly like this:

Her: Why don’t you bother getting properly dressed of a morning?
Me: (head tilt, nose wrinkle) What a strange question! Why do you ask?

...and repeat until she slinks off from the torturous awkwardness she created.

timeisnotaline · 05/08/2018 01:53

So weird. I’d be tempted to wear pyjama pants to the next drop off you think she’ll be at.
So jealous of your life skills to get to the gym daily!

Ventiamore · 05/08/2018 02:10

Does she expect me to get dressed, drop the kids off, go home and change for the gym, go home again to change and then go to work?

No, loads of ppl I know get changed at the gym and go straight on to work from there.

I guess she has never seen me in smart clothes, hair brushed and makeup

You don't brush your hair before the gym? I'd look at you oddly too.

so she has made me feel like shit and I very self conscious of what I'm going to be wearing everyday

Unless your workout gear looks like PJs, that's really weird that she'd say you hadn't 'got dressed'. Esp as you say you wear a sports top. Surely 100% of parents dropping off are not dressed up to the nines every morning? Why should you feel shit about wearing leggings or not having makeup on?

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 05/08/2018 02:23

I'd have raised my eyebrows and said 'Sorry, what?'

What an odd, odd woman. Not worth your time. I'd be terribly tempted to rock the pyjamas-and-slippers look one morning, though. Complete with dressing gown and bed hair (I have natural curls and wash my hair every evening, so my hair is a sight to behold when I've just got out of bed).