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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she is just a bit of a bitch?

81 replies

candylane1 · 03/08/2018 22:56

I only work from 11-3 Monday to Thursday but full day on a Friday.
Everyday I take my 2 dd's to school then go straight to the gym, home for a shower then off to work which means I usually do the school run in gym clothes so leggings and a sports top and light jacket. On a Friday I have to be in for 9 so am dressed in a suit or smart dress and full makeup. Anyway there is one mum in the playground who always gives me funny looks but I've never known why until today. I have the whole 6 weeks off for the holidays but this week my dd's are attending summer club where this woman's ds is also going and today she made it clear what her problem is. She was standing next to me then just turned and asked why I never bother to get dressed before leaving the house I was shocked and explained that I go to the gym every morning and because our house is quite far out I just go straight after drop off, she jut replied with 'ok' but I could tell she wasn't happy with my answer. Does she expect me to get dressed, drop the kids off, go home and change for the gym, go home again to change and then go to work? For what its worth she only drops off mon-weds and never picks up her ds (he has a childminder) so I guess she has never seen me in smart clothes, hair brushed and makeup on but even so she has made me feel like shit and I very self conscious of what I'm going to be wearing everyday. AIBU?

OP posts:

Rebecca36 · 03/08/2018 23:43

The woman is extremely rude and I hope you take no more notice of her.

tenbob · 03/08/2018 23:47

Move to where I live, OP!
Workout clothes/athlesuire is the de facto uniform here. You'd get funny looks for wearing anything else...

Ohyesiam · 03/08/2018 23:47

Op, those are not the words of a happy person. And behaving like that to people will not bring her happiness either.
Just feel sorry for her and move on, she has some sort of problem, don’t make it your problem.

FarFlungFairy · 03/08/2018 23:48

Why did you explain yourself? Next time try;
“I beg your pardon?” And then “fuck off you cheeky bitch.”

PinkCalluna · 03/08/2018 23:55

That’s really very odd.

I live in a very naice place. The school gate dress codes splits into thirds:

Working Mums smartly dressed in suits etc

SAHMs with preschool age kids/Work from home Mums in head to toe Boden/Joules etc

SAHMs whose kids are all at school in gym/running/cycling wear. (Mostly fairly seriously training for their next triathlon, marathon or race)

Just for balance the Dads dropping off spilt into similar categories. Business dress/smart casual/some form of Lycra.

You can’t really be the only parent dropping off in gym wear?

MustShowDH · 03/08/2018 23:58

Loads of mums on the school run wear work out gear.

She's probably jealous she's not as organised or fit as you!

ImAIdoot · 04/08/2018 00:03

I know of at least one mum who turns up at school in gym style - yoga pants, beautifully done make up and all, and definitely doesn't go to the gym, she's always been a bit showy. Still don't comment on it, her business.

mehimthem · 04/08/2018 00:05

good on you op for making the time to head off to the gym!! I agree with all of the other pp's that its none of her business what you do/wear/go.

But your story did make me smile as it made me remember this Active Wear You Tube video (2017 ??) - & wonder if youve seen it too. Maybe the other school mum needs to view it as well & see just how much can be done while wearing action wear - incl going to the gym

incywincybitofa · 04/08/2018 00:08

Well isn't she lucky that she has enough time in her life to find a way of being worked up about what you wear for school drop off.

Italiangreyhound · 04/08/2018 00:14

YANBU but do not let her bother you. It's just silly for her to care what you are wearing!

Ivymaud · 04/08/2018 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justgettothepoint · 04/08/2018 00:20

She obvs has little else to worry about in her life OP. What a bloody cheek! Even if you turned up in pjs whats it got to do with anyone else? When did it become law to dress up for the school run? What a snotty cow! Prob jealous cos she's not as fit as you as not going to the gym regularly.

LeighaJ · 04/08/2018 00:28

Yes, she is a bitch.

Also doesn't sound like she has much going on in her small little world to be so concerned about what you wear to drop off your kids.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 04/08/2018 00:31

YABU to describe her as a bit of a bitch when she's actually a massive thundercunt. And no, you shouldn't have to explain the way you dress to her, who the fuck made her the schoolgate dress code monitor?

TwinkulTwinkle · 04/08/2018 00:32

(She) then just turned and asked why I never bother to get dressed before leaving the house and in the past you said you'd noticed her giving you funny looks.
'never bother' = absolutist and judgemental. I don't know what ages your children are, but have you started to forge (even if it's superficial) friendships with the parents that your children play with? If you have and I were you, I would just continue to past pleasantries with those parents. You seem like a nice person - and some people for whatever reasons - seek to bother those, who they know that they can easily get under their skin.... you know, us 'sensitive' types. I say this, because you had already noticed her giving you 'off looks'. Another person may well have been oblivious to those same looks - after all, why should we make it our business to interpret the looks of people that we don't even know (unless they pose some real and present danger)?
In future, make it a point to not make eye contact with her - that way you won't know if she's giving you bad looks, or not. If she comes to 'talk' to you again . Irrespective of what she starts up with - interrupt her a few words in and say something like 'I found what you said to me last time was trite - don't talk to me again' (and assume fake 'anger' in your voice - but quietly - so as to not attract too much attention at the school gate ) and walk off.
Why am I advocating this behaviour? Because she took a risk saying what she said to you last time - and she took that risk because she had (rightly) assessed that you would take it. I live in London and have seen all manner of ahem 'attire' at school gates. I really don't think that woman would go up to one of the mum's wearing a onesie or anything else she cared to take exception to - to ask them why they couldn't be bothered to dress better. As a kindness on their part, they would leave her with half of her hair on her head -the other half, blowing across the playground floor. Jokes and location aside - I hope you get my point about nipping this in the bud x

Timeisslippingaway · 04/08/2018 00:33

Why the fuck would it be any of her business. You shpuld have told her to keep her bloody big nose out!

garethsouthgatesmrs · 04/08/2018 00:35

is this a private school?

She sounds like a judgy, materialistic (and probably stuck in a sex starved.boring relationship) bitch.

diodati · 04/08/2018 00:56

Wow, what a bitch. As my dc would say, she can go die in a hole. Ignore and forget.

AjasLipstick · 04/08/2018 01:12

Some people think that those who wear gym clothes are showing off. "Look at me! I'm so healthy and fit!"

There are also some people who wear gym clothes but don't go to the gym. They want people to think they do.

Just ignore her OP. She's insecure.

ALongHardWinter · 04/08/2018 02:21

WTF had it got to do with her! She 'wasn't happy' with your answer? Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

FlyingMonkeys · 04/08/2018 02:34

But wasn't yesterday a Friday so she saw you in your work suit? Seems nuts she'd actually feel the need to comment really.

FlyingMonkeys · 04/08/2018 02:36

Sorry just re-read post that you're off for six weeks. Seems so bizarre she felt the need to mention it at all though.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2018 03:23

What the living fuck does it have to do with her?
How is she affected by what YOU choose to wear? I mean, obviously if you turned up in a full gimp suit, different story - but you're in workout clothes, hardly offensive!
Tell her to mind her own bloody business next time and for HEAVEN'S sake do NOT worry about her opinion!

hadenough · 04/08/2018 04:04

Horrid woman. Ignore and don't change what you do or how you dress,

How sad she doesn't have anything better to focus on in her life.

HoppingPavlova · 04/08/2018 05:12

Not sure which is weirder- the other Mum saying what she did or you giving some full blown explanation. You could front up in a bikini for all it matters, none of her business!

I would have looked shocked, told her it was absolutely none of her business and asked her if she thought it was normal to harass people. If she came back with anything I would have simply told her to fuck off.

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