Bus Drama

[kikisparks]

I get the bus home from work and there is often bus drama, sometimes verging on physical altercations.

Today there’s a Mum (I assume) with 3 kids one a very small girl in pram. Wee one is singing but then starts squealing/ yelping/ making animal noises loudly.

Bus driver says to the Mum that he doesn’t mind the singing but can’t cope with the shouting.

The Mum seems very annoyed and says “she’s only one what am I meant to do.”

I had to get off bus and driver said “lucky you.”

So who was BU?

1. Driver
2. Woman
3. Me (surely for some reason, this is AIBU)

(FWIW I have a high tolerance for noise and wasn’t bothered by the LO, not got a predetermined view but probably veering towards driver BU).

@BoomBoomsCousin I know, I have no idea what I was thinking! Instead of being a judgy bystander I should clearly have stepped in and arbitrated an arrangement beneficial to all parties, I now see the error of my ways.

I'm with the driver. Distractions are dangerous - some child screeching is a pain in the ass, and it's distracting him from his job. If you can't shut your child up, you should get off the bus. We're all trying to travel in peace, including the driver.

Must admit, I laughed at "lucky you."

BoomBoomsCousin 😂😂😂😂

I was in the Doctors surgery today with 2yo twins. LG was running in a circle round the chair and being a bit noisy in an excitable way. I quietly told her to stop running and to be a bit quieter. Cue major meltdown with her screaming full pitch!!

And this is the point where I would have taken the child outside to calm down (don’t know what you did). I sure as hell wouldn’t have subjected anybody to a 2 yr old’s screaming just because I asked them to quieten down.

I’m with the bus driver by the way.

I am with the Mum. She was probably at her wits end. I would be trying to distract, stop him etc but 1 yr olds have a mind of their own sometimes and it is impossible to get them to be quiet. I know it may have been distracting for the driver, but there is such an intolerance of children being children in public places. I am sure the Mum wasn't loving life at that moment either.

What the hell was the mum meant to do? Put her hand over the baby’s mouth?

I’m so glad I don’t have to use public transport

The mother could have played peekaboo, told a story, sang a quiet lullaby, put the child on her lap and point out of the window at the other cars or any other things that would've more than likely stopped the child from screaming. All these people saying what do you expect me to do duct tape her mouth ffs.....no just try your best to distract the child and stop the screaming

@sar501 you don’t know what you’re missing. There’s all out war of who got to the bus stop first ergo gets on bus first, and people trying to get the poor driver to throw other people off because they pushed in front of them. Then there’s the times you’re crammed in like sardines and someone decides to play dance music at full volume on their phone next to your ear. Or the drunk old guy telling everyone stories. Or the near riots when it snows and the bus takes 2 hours to do a 15 minute journey then driver says it’s the end of his shift so you need to get off and wait for the next one. Or the time someone tries to use the wrong ticket to get on and spends 15 minutes arguing while those on the bus get increasingly frustrated and either someone offers to pay for his ticket or someone murders him (minor exaggeration).

There’s nothing quite like a bus. I do sympathise with drivers I often think it must be pretty hellish.

DaveyouareanuttertwatDave great suggestions, only problem is another poster on here has commented that a mother was singing to her child on a bus and that annoyed them. Mothers are just damed whatever! Sad when I can imagine a barking dog on a bus would be met with “he’s only playing”, rather than the owner should get off the bus. Children are part of society (not to be seen and not heard) and whilst as guardians we try and control them as much as possible sometimes they scream or have a tantrum and become unruly for the odd moment.

I would also guess that many a bus driver don’t have a go at the gangs of teenagers who may cause problems on a bus- much easier to go after the soft target of a mother and embarrass her

sar501, I totally get you, the bus is quite often full of mumsnetters, fat persons and other impossibles. But sometimes (not too often, London Transport knows that wouldn't good for you) things go just right.

I would also guess that many a bus driver don’t have a go at the gangs of teenagers who may cause problems on a bus actually I have known several times bus drivers to have a go at a group of kids messing around.
I've also known them pull over and order them off a bus (they threw some stuff out of the window at someone) and another time get them to pick up the rubbish they had (deliberately) thrown all over the top deck.

I think one of the best times, one of them mouthed back, and he told them he expected an apology from them, and if they apologised he wouldn't be passing the CCTV on to their school. They all walked past and said a very clear and humble "sorry". He told me later that the CCTV wasn't working and he was very glad not to have to call their bluff.

If you can't shut your child up, you should get off the bus. We're all trying to travel in peace, including the driver.

If you want to travel in peace, learn to drive and buy a car. It's a bus. You share it with 70+ other people so unfortunately some level of noise is inevitable.

Perhaps the mum knows that if she attempts to stop the animal noises/yelping that the baby will get louder and more excitable so is teaching her that it's not acceptable by not reacting to it. I know that with my own 1yo when she starts doing her high-pitched squawk if I try any sort of distraction she will laugh and get louder so I ignore it completely, as soon as she sees she is getting zero reaction she soon stops. This worked with all of my children at this age when they went through shouty phases.

The driver was being a dick. Yes, it would have been irritating but he's trained to drive with a bus full of passengers and that includes dealing with noise levels. He should have kept his mouth shut instead of making a shitty comment on top of a previous shitty comment, his "lucky you" remark was for no other reason than to be passive aggressive towards that mother.

The mum was bvu.

I’m drive, and dds now are separated as they fight. I’m an excellent driver (23+ years driving no accidents), and I do not wish to have one whilst dds are —being arseholes— fighting.

So, one dd sits in the front, the other in the back.

Annoying screaming kids are a distraction for anyone in a vehicle, professional or not.

With the driver. The shit they put up with!

She could have at least tried but clearly she does not care if her little one is disrupting others in public places

Well you certainly were not being unreasonable. You didnt even feature in the
situation.
It was between her and the bus driver.
I can see both Sides of the coin, tbh. You'd have to Mr/Mrs Tumble for screeching child not to get on your nerves. However when the mum said "Shes only one what am I meant to do". People might say "The Cheeky bitch. She wants to discipline her child. " However, somewhere along the line does she have a point. I mean with the best will, discipline and the most fantastic parenting in the world, you can't keep a baby quiet.

boopsy it's all very well being super aware, one memorable bus journey back from a very long day at London Zoo (DH thought doing the whole zoo in one day would be acceptable), DD then 6 just went completely haywire. Not a tantrum, because she was laughing, but I had to hold down a thrashing, shrieking child for an hour. Yes, funnily enough, I was super aware. WTF could I have done?

He is a dick. He's driving a bus. He can't expect silence, can he? If the sound of a toddler making animals noises distracts him, maybe he isn't safe on the road in charge of a vehicle weighing a few tonnes.

‘What is the mum supposed to do’ well what is the driver supposed to do? If he can’t concentrate nobody is safe.

Amanduh

If he can't drive the bus because of a few squeaks from a baby, then nobody is safe. What's he going to do when there is a fight, or someone collapses, or someone starts playing music?