I have a 2 year old DS who hasn’t slept a full night since he was born. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. I’m dizzy and shaky with fatigue, my eyes are constantly itchy and dry where I just need more sleep, and I feel like a shell of my former self. I’m struggling to keep my shit together. DH helps where he can but he works long hours so ultimately DS is largely my responsibility for 90% of the time. I have no friends locally or anyone that can help relieve some of the stress.
My family (parents, 2 brothers, 1 sister, who all have older children themselves) find my current state highly amusing. If I visit them and try to get DS to take a nap while I’m there, they purposely make loud noises and speak loudly to wake him up. They laugh when I tell them I haven’t had a wink of sleep. They can see I’m struggling, but the harder it is for me the more it seems to entertain them and they act even worse. I’ve started to lie when they ask me how the baby is sleeping, and say he’s fine (when actually I’ve only slept for 1-2 hours) because any hint of difficulty and they start joking and laughing about it.
I feel so sad that I haven’t got family that love me enough to want to help me when they know I’m not coping. I’ve asked them to look after DS previously just for an hour or two so I can get some rest but no one will. He’s a lovely little boy, so there’s no reason why they wouldn’t want to, they just seem to have excuses or reasons why they aren’t able to help, and I can only presume it’s because they delight so much in seeing me miserable.
I’m seriously considering going low/no contact because being laughed at when I’m so exhausted is so awful. I don’t want to spend time with these people anymore.
Sorry, it’s not really an AIBU but I needed somewhere to vent because DS is awake again and I feel so low that I have no one to support me.