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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this baby shower invitation in beyond weird?

59 replies

Steelediver · 02/08/2018 16:24

I’m not a fan of baby showers anyway, but today I received an invitation with the details on and other cringey baby related stuff, plus a footnote at the end telling me that although they’re pleased to have everyone attend, they do request no one shares details of the day on social media Confused.

Everyone who cares she’s pregnant already knows. AIBU to think they is beyond controlling and precious?

OP posts:
MrSpock · 02/08/2018 16:25

YABU. Her baby, her decision. Maybe she’s not invited some awkward bastards who will be rude about it and give her grief.

argumentativefeminist · 02/08/2018 16:26

Maybe they've explicitly not invited some problematic people in their lives and don't want said people kicking off when they see on social media that there was a party and they didn't get an invite?

Gooseysgirl · 02/08/2018 16:26

Maybe someone she knows miscarried and would have been due the same time?

BalloonSlayer · 02/08/2018 16:27

Are you hoping to be uninvited because you've just . . . erm . . . shared details about it on social media?

argumentativefeminist · 02/08/2018 16:27

Crossposted!

Birdsgottafly · 02/08/2018 16:27

Are you sure that there is no-one that would turn up and spoil the day, if they knew that it was happening?

Personally, I think that people have a right to privacy and it's no great hardship to not post stuff on the Internet.

LML83 · 02/08/2018 16:28

I am assuming someone is not invited and to save feelings host is trying to keep it quiet.

thecatsthecats · 02/08/2018 16:29

Sorry, but are you SURE you know that there's someone the mum isn't - for very good reasons - trying to keep low/NC with?

Also, to turn it around, are you that blooming obsessed with sharing YOUR life on social media that this little request couldn't go unfulfilled?

Sorry not sorry, but your post reads, "Waaaaaaahhhh, I want sympathy for how unreasonable these people are being."

Congratulations, you've made me defend a baby shower - I hate the bloody things!

28holid · 02/08/2018 16:34

Everyone who cares she’s pregnant already knows. AIBU to think they is beyond controlling and precious?

Yes. YABVU. Perhaps the reason is nothing to do with who knows she is pregnant. There are several other reasons for wanting not to keep this off social media. Not your business. Either go and accept the request or decline the offer.

ProseccoPoppy · 02/08/2018 16:34

Isn’t mumsnet social media? (And yes, I realise you haven’t shared any identifying details OP...) I hate baby showers but I hate Facebook (which I bet is what they are worried about) more so I wouldn’t have an issue with the request in itself.

champagnesupernouveaux · 02/08/2018 16:35

YABU. I didn't announce either of my pregnancies on social media. I didn't want everybody on there to know. It was personal for me. I reminded friends and family who knew several times that I didn't want it mentioned. I had a baby shower first time round and asked that nothing be shared. My pregnancy, my rules.

A colleague accidentally commented on something I shared with something that implied pregnancy, but wasn't blatant. I deleted it as soon as I saw it.

PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2018 16:36

Is it really hard to imagine why they might not want details shared on Facebook? Confused

Go or don’t go. It isn’t a big deal.

Original poster
Steelediver · 02/08/2018 16:36

Grin Fair enough! I stand corrected.

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 02/08/2018 16:37

She may have invited someone who does not want their pic posted publicly. Maybe someone fleeing a DV situation. Who might not want the whole damned world knowing it's her that's the reason.

Not publishing really shouid be the default.

Countdownto40 · 02/08/2018 16:38

YABU.

It's a pretty standard thing that people don't want their pregnancy shared on social media!

Trinity66 · 02/08/2018 16:38

I don't think there's anything weird about people not wanting certain stuff on Social Media no

MrSpock · 02/08/2018 16:40

Will there be kids there? I ask people not to share photos of my son on social media. I wasn’t as vigilant in the past and someone unpleasant stole DSs photo and made a racist meme (he is biracial) about him and it really upset all of us. So now I don’t let anyone outside of my immediate family post photos of him.

People have all sorts of reasons for wanting privacy.

twoshedsjackson · 02/08/2018 16:40

Remember how the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty began; Carabosse was well ticked off at not getting a christening invitation.
But if she wants to be that discreet, why have a baby shower?

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 02/08/2018 16:44

It's up to her really, imo, as it's her party. I think it's fair enough tbh.

Givemeallyourcucumber · 02/08/2018 16:49

I do not use Facebook etc. I would be horrified if someone posted my life on Facebook etc.

Also doing an activity shouldn't end with having to put it on social media. I mean come on people!

Original poster
Steelediver · 02/08/2018 16:52

She does use Facebook, her pregnancy is plastered all over it. It’s not that I’m chomping at the bit to put it on social media, I just found it strange that it’s specifically states not to on the invitations.

OP posts:
JessicaJonesJacket · 02/08/2018 16:55

There could be lots of reasons including that another guest doesn't want pics made available.

delphguelph · 02/08/2018 16:56

I can understand this tbh

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/08/2018 16:59

Tbh any baby shower invitation would make me suddenly develop a highly infectious, rampant diarrhoea bug on that exact day.

Cyclingpast · 02/08/2018 17:00

It's her baby shower, so shouldn't it be up to her to post about it on FB *(or anywhere else for that matter). I don't think it's weird at all. It's a shame that people HAVE to say if they DON't want something posted on FB .