Help!! Stop me. Stop me!!!!!

[ilovesliz]

I am a peri menopausal woman in a bad mood. Husband has been annoying me all day.

He's just gone into the garage. Stop me from locking him in. The key is in the lock. All I have to do is turn it...

Yes I am. But it's so tempting.

No, don't. You'll go off for a nice long bath and a glass of wine and the bastard will disturb you by hammering on the door and waking the children up.

He wants ME to do some yoga while he plays on the PS4.

I'm going out to pick up the teenager now. And..... breathe.....

I only have Maldon sea salt. Will that do?

Been there OP 🍫 is definitely the answer, once the garage is secured to stop him escaping.

I'll send my dh round, see if he can tempt him back in to look at something manly.
Then please turn that key, please, I'm begging you.

He's lucky! At first i thought breath but then you mentioned the trainers and i wanted you to lock him in! I suggest you pick up teen, stop at shop/petrol station send them in for good solid choc supplies and enjoy.

Madden sea salt will be fine. Wait til he's sat on couch for PS4 and apply circle.
Speak in tongue if he asks you what you're doing or maybe just move like a ninja with a cheery "Rightio off out now darling!" .
*Best not to engage incase he speaks some annoying out & it escapes circle before it's sealed.
This is very scientific.

Lol!!!!

Still waiting for teenager to finish her waitressing shift. So DH will be asleep snoring his head off when I get home. What will happen if I put salt around his car?

Have a stiff drink and go to bed (making sure he is unlocked first of course).

I started reading this earlier...I come back now and you've commenced with witchcraft?

poor bloke won't survive the night

Well, it was too late to get out the Sallt cellar last night so I let him make me a cup of tea this morning and now he's gone to work. He has survived another day.

He's very lucky! Still it won't hurt him to have a sneaky salt circle round him one day save it for when he's most annoying again.

Alternatively, have you watched Season 3 episode 3 of The Big Bang Theory (the Gothowitz Deviation)? Sheldon trains Penny out of her bad habits. Maybe use park scratchings or boiler sweets for hubbie (as all chocolate is yours!)

*boiled sweets

Make the kids move their own shoes.

He's gone into the garage again....

Lock the door then superglue it (that's for the yoga suggestion!).

Did he make it out of the garage?

Do it, then "accidentally" lose the key, while digging space for a lovely new patio.

"DH is picking bits of superglue off his fingers. It's moments like these that make marriage a joy." OP, I think I love you!

I let him out and I forgave him as he poured me another gin (DD wasn't working so I could have a 🍸 last night).

Thanks all - I think that's it until the next mood swing

I actually did lock him in the garage last night (as a joke).

He turned off the lights and sat in a camping chair. When I opened the door he said he'd been enjoying the peace.

I actually did lock him in the garage last night (as a joke).

He turned off the lights and sat in a camping chair. When I opened the door he said he'd been enjoying the peace.