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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU concerning family mocking accents

99 replies

User667025 · 01/08/2018 13:14

I'm rather upset and would like to know if AIBU or perhaps just hormonal. I'm on holiday with my British husband and British born/raised adult children. We're in another country but there are many Americans on holiday here too. I'm American myself. As I have lived in the UK a long time, my accent is softened, but still there. My family have what would be called a "posh" English accent.

My husband and one daughter are continually putting on fake, exaggerated American accents and mocking what they hear Americans saying. I have quietly asked my husband to stop this, saying its rude and people around us would be upset. He replied that he doesn't give a shit. All jokey.

Without going too much in depth, I'll simply say, I'm American. This bothers me. Causes me to feel upset not only by my perceiving their rudeness but also mocked myself (even though I don't have this particular southern states American accent).

AUBU to feel upset/hurt? Should I be more forceful in asking them to stop? I feel I'd be told AIBU and ruining their holiday.

OP posts:

IceCreamFace · 01/08/2018 13:57

We went on a coach trip with some Americans when we were on holiday, and no lie, they literally wanted to stop every five minutes for food.

How is that relevant to the thread? I've seen British people do FAR worse while on holiday.

Passmethecrisps · 01/08/2018 13:57

It’s extremely rude and you are not BU by being upset. I would be more forceful and say firmly that you want it to stop. X

Passmethecrisps · 01/08/2018 13:57

Sorry for the random kiss there. Squirming nap baby

middleagedalready · 01/08/2018 14:00

Laughing at people's accents is rude, your DH should have stopped when you explained you didn't like it. Of course men don't have to behave like this.

bonitabonita · 01/08/2018 14:00

Do it back at him! Get everyone to join in. Alternate between a posh home counties and mockney

SandyY2K · 01/08/2018 14:02

I was in the States on vacation recently. My DH sometimes does this fake American accent. It's awful and I just tell him to shut up as it's embarrassing.

Thinking about it my DH and kids were born in London.... I have a different accent (quite distinctive) from another part of the UK and pronounce certain words differently to them...and sometimes him and one of the DC put on a fake accent from my home town.

It doesnt offend me...but I tell them they sound fake and would be spotted a mile off. It's mostly done jokingly.

missyB1 · 01/08/2018 14:03

Its rude and ignorant, and your Dh is setting a bad example to your dd and shouldn't be encouraging her.. You might not be able to change your Dh's behavior but I wouldn't tolerate it from your dd, tell her to stop portraying herself as an idiot.

Actually better still get them both to read this thread so they can see how other people view their immature behavior.

maxthemartian · 01/08/2018 14:06

It's very rude, and the first few responses are complete nonsense. YANBU.

OkMaybeNot · 01/08/2018 14:07

Tell them they're being rude fuckers. Doubt they'd appreciate it if they started ripping the piss out of their RP accents.

In certain situations it can be funny. But you're clearly not finding it funny.

ButchyRestingFace · 01/08/2018 14:09

I think your family may have invaded the first page of this thread, OP. Do you have another your MN account currently running on another pc in your home?

Lollypop701 · 01/08/2018 14:11

It’s racist.. although they may be laughing at the shockingly bad American accent they are both putting on? Tell them to visit Manchester and spend time listening a bunch of northern idiots sat next to them taking the piss for an extended period? He might not care, but it’s irritating. In any event you have asked them to stop and it’s disrespectful to you. I would stick my earphones in, and refuse to interact until normal service resumes.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 01/08/2018 14:13

Surely the point of using a different accent IS to be rude or at least to emphasise a difference.

Describing something uptight, people often use a posh English accent or something stupid an Essex one they use a German one or something sexy a French accent.

I guess it's pretty Xenrphobic but it's not saved for the weakest/poorest in society. No one complains when people use a Donald Trump voice to imply stupidity .

AmericanEskimoDoge · 01/08/2018 14:14

They're being rude, but I agree that what's worse is that they continue doing it even after you've explained that it's bothering you, as an American. If you've told them why it's bothering you (not just a vague "please don't do that") and they continue, I'd personally feel hurt and unvalued.

People can't help their accents, and one accent isn't better than another, anyway. There's nothing wrong (imho) with finding an accent amusing, but a polite person never laughs in front of the accented person (unless maybe they're the one who started joking about it, themselves), and we should stop if it's making someone else uncomfortable, too.

Leesa65 · 01/08/2018 14:16

Some husband

OP, perhaps you should speak loud and proud and use your authentic American accent to wind him and your kids up. Even gauge it up a bit too , Its something I would do

Fair is fair .

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 01/08/2018 14:21

My word, that is rude. Remind them that they’re representing British people abroad and their behaviour is embarrassing.

bonitabonita · 01/08/2018 14:22

Tell them to visit Manchester and spend time listening a bunch of northern idiots sat next to them taking the piss for an extended period?

WTF?!?

GabsAlot · 01/08/2018 14:22

seeing as you his wife are american and he says he doesnt vgive a shit yanbu-hes a dickhead

would he do the same to indians?

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/08/2018 14:23

I’d be upset your husband is teaching your dd to mock people from your home country. Rude and immature.

Earthwindnfiya · 01/08/2018 14:23

I've been on holiday to plenty of places where there are a lot of Americans and had my British accent copied/mocked. Then again I am from the north of England and live in London and regularly have my northern accent copied/mocked by most Londoners including DP. It's not something I really take offense to because I don't think they mean it to be offensive, it's just one of those things people find funny I guess to copy the accents of people who sound different to them. I see it more as jokey rather than actually malicious

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 01/08/2018 14:26

There’s a difference between imitation and mocking. Imitation is a bit infantile but not malicious. You’ve said mocking, OP, and that is definitely not OK.

lightonthewater · 01/08/2018 14:32

They sound delightful. Especially as you are American yourself. Rude, immature and annoying.

Andylion · 01/08/2018 14:32

It's very rude, and the first few responses are complete nonsense. YANBU.

^
This.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 01/08/2018 14:33

Yes, it definitely depends on how they're imitating it. If it's done in the right way, I wouldn't mind someone copying my accent (or rather the accent of my region, because like so many people, I don't personally have a strong accent ). It can even be a sign that someone likes the way you sound or finds it interesting/charming.

But if it's done mockingly? Keep that to yourself.

ToadOfSadness · 01/08/2018 14:33

dont think men can help it.

Shouldn't that be dont think dickheads can help it.?

LighthouseSouth · 01/08/2018 14:33

Your husband and adult daughter are being xenophobic but also, sorry to say, sounds like they are trying to get a rise out of you.

Probably time for a talk. Do you get on otherwise?

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