...to ask parent to not let my son play COD and Fornite when at their house?

[TheOrigFV45]

Boys are 9.
Is it better that I just don't allow my son to go to their house because I don't agree with children this age playing COD and Fortnite, or AIBU to ask the parent not to allow my son to play? Or just trust my son to not play (would be an odd play date in that case).

The only time I've done similar is with DS1 (now 19), when I said he wasn't allowed to go on friend's trampoline because it didn't have a net.

They're two very different games. My 10 year old plays Fortnite (PEGI 12) but there's no way on earth I'd be letting him on Call of Duty which is an 18.

I would say to the parent that you don't want him on certificate 18 games.

I don’t let my 11yo play COD but he does use fortnite. If he went to a friends house who I know played it I wouldn’t say anything tbh, it’s a one off.

But if you feel very strongly about it I’d say to parent rather than make ds have to say he couldn’t play it, or have him play it sneakily. As awful as it sounds my ds wouldn’t be too keen on having someone over just now who couldn’t play fortnite, as that’s what him and his friends do most of the time they are here.

COD for a 9 yo is grossly neglectful parenting! Fortnite is apparently more child suited although I don’t personally know anything about it.

But COD would be a flat out definite no, every time. DP is an ex squaddie and hates the damn game because it’s so realistic. It triggered a PTSD flashback episode in BIL (also ex military) when his son (adult) played it in their house!

Is it better that I just don't allow my son to go to their house because I don't agree with children this age playing COD and Fortnite

They are vastly different games.

I would simply say that you don't want your son playing 18 rated games and relax a bit surrounding Fortnite.

We have had visiting children explain to us which games they aren't allowed to play but never discussed it with their parent.

So I would probably either tell your DC to explain or not send him.

Don’t put it on your son, it’s not fair at that age.

I would suss out the parent. If they seem reasonable just say you have a blanket ban and you know that’s not the ‘norm’ so you just wanted to make them aware. If they seem like that might make them feel judged or react badly, then just keep turning play dates into coming to your house.

Totally different games, I'd relax about Fortnite. But there again I dont take notice of ratings, I play the games myself and make my own judgements. Fortnite is perfect for a 9 to imo

As has been said already, I would relax on Fortnite a bit if you know it's not going to be a regular thing. COD I would say no way at all, its not appropriate. The problem with mentioning no fortnite to the parent is that she might think you are judging her parenting. It's okay to not want it in your home but it's such a big thing with that age group right now that it's likely the other boy would feel a bit frustrated with your son if he couldn't play it (which is ridiculous i know but fortnite fever is a bit crazy)

i wouldnt expect another parent to police that if thats what their kid is into, Can you invite the other kid to yours instead and plan activities offline?

Thanks. Point taken about Fortnite. We don't have it mainly because I've heard how frustrated the kids get when they're playing with others and then get called away for dinner or something, or "I just need to finish this game". I have enough of that already! But I guess that wouldn't be an issue (for me!) if he's at someone else's house.

I did actually invite the child over here, but thought the Mum might ask my son over as she knows I'm working. I've said her son can come over, but I can't entertain them as I'm working (in my garden office, door open, can hear etc). So, non issue this time, but for future ref it's good to know IWNBU to ask for no COD.

It's not unreasonable to mention it. I have a son a similar age he plays fortnite but if a visiting friend isn't allowed its not a problem as they do something else.

My DS plays fortnite but I'm quite happy to say no games above 13 to him and any parents whose house he visits.
Most parents who allow COD for younger kids know it's pretty crap parenting and so don't expose visiting kids to it anyway IME

I'm a long time gamer and my DS 10 plays Fortnite because content is fine. There's no way he'd be playing COD until he's at least 15-16.

Also, Fortnite games are online based. You can't pause them or leave once in a match, so if you're calling them to come for tea immediately, YABU

The little rascals are happy playing with tiny plastic army men.

And they found the Chocolate Mini Rolls.

Nothing wrong with Fornite. I don't understand the fuss about this game.

My nephews (14/12) are properly addicted in a really bad way to Fortnite - i would say avoid it at all costs, therefore don't send your son to friends house as it is unfair to ask him not to play, and unfair to ask the parents too.

Isn't the fuss just that it's addictive and kids won't stop playing it? Like all good videogames really!

You're being hugely unreasonable and will cause your son tonne bullied. Stop being overprotective!

*to be bullied

My children are 10 yo.

They know that it is their responsibility to say “no” to playing a game (or watching something on DVD etc ) that wouldn’t be allowed at home.

I firmly believe that you need to teach your children to have the strength of character to say “no” to their friends.

Having the courage to stand up to people takes practice.

If they can’t say no to a game at 9 or 10 how much harder will they find it to say no to drugs or sex etc at 14 or 15?

@Happyandshiney. Lol

There's a big difference between having the strength of character to say “no” to things they don't actually want to do, and saying "no" to something they want to do but have been forbidden from doing by their parents who aren't around at that point.

No CoD or GTA but Fortnite is fine in terms of the Gameplay. Overwatch is fine too but they all get addicted anyway!
I wouldn’t let 14 yr old ds play gta now but he has played COD at friends for a couple of years - the mum said she turns the swearing etc off. Luckily he hasn’t asked for COD or GTA here for a while. I’d prob all COD now though but he can wait for gta til he’s 18!!

@DiegoMadonna - And actually in this case I think "doing the thing you want to do but have been forbidden" shows superior strength of character

There's a big difference between having the strength of character to say “no” to things they don't actually want to do, and saying "no" to something they want to do but have been forbidden from doing by their parents who aren't around at that point.

I agree. Hence the need to practice.