...to ask parent to not let my son play COD and Fornite when at their house?

[TheOrigFV45]

Boys are 9.
Is it better that I just don't allow my son to go to their house because I don't agree with children this age playing COD and Fortnite, or AIBU to ask the parent not to allow my son to play? Or just trust my son to not play (would be an odd play date in that case).

The only time I've done similar is with DS1 (now 19), when I said he wasn't allowed to go on friend's trampoline because it didn't have a net.

My DS is 11 and although we have a playstation here, laptop etc he does not play with it a huge deal here, we've deliberately always steered him away from it. As such I think it is fine for him to join in at a friend's house, and indeed he does with fortnite, but I would draw the line at COD and I would mention it to the parent.

we have some 18 games here such as GTA etc which came with the playstation, it's second hand; DS only really uses it when friends are round but I do not allow them to go on any shooting games as I don't think it is right, and my DS knows he is not allowed to do the same at friend's houses. The mum's know that too.

I don't let peer pressure guide my parenting - my DS (10) also isn't allowed to play fortnite due to the violent theme and the chat. He doesn't get bullied about it because his school is big on raising nice, respectful kids. I wouldn't let him do anything I'd judged as inappropriate just because 'all the other kids are doing it and will bully him' - that's awful parenting. I think you're fine to tell other parents he's not allowed to play.

Neither of my sons are allowed to play CoD or Fortnite (12 and 10yo). We are a family of gamers (they play World of Warcraft at the weekends with us, Zelda, Ni No Kuni etc) but CoD isn't appropriate at their age and I have some concerns with how addictive Fortnite is. They have never seemed bothered about stopping WoW for the day once a dungeon is finished or a quest handed in but I have heard of older children having screaming tantrums when Fortnite is turned off.

I have no problems with parents asking for their children not to play certain games while at ours, and the boys have no issues with telling their friends they don't play Fortnite and finding something else to do. "All the other boys are allowed to play" gets met with "I'm not their mother. All the other boys probably aren't allowed other things that you are so it all evens out." And I know all the other boys aren't allowed either, it always comes as a surprise that mothers occasionally talk to each other!

We’ve had a message from (primary) school setting out huge concerns they had about children playing Fortnite (I’d never heard of it before....). Apparently they thought they were getting issues with behaviour creeping over into school. The line from school was it’s a 12 so no one should be on it at primary. No one should feel left out as you should all stop it then it’s not an issue (love our headmistress and her whole school messages, no messing about and mincing words)!

I know COD has bad language in it, but on the whole the violence is quite similar to Fortnite-guns, rocket launchers etc. I could be wrong though.

The best thing about Fortnite is that my kids have lost interest in COD now.

(They are older teenagers though)

I have two dgs aged 9 and 11. They have an X box and iPads. They mainly play Fifa and Forza. They had a spell of loving Minecraft but when I mentioned Fortnite there was zero interest and I was told it was ‘just a bit faddy ‘ and none of their friends play.
As for CoD and GTA they have never been mentioned and certainly wouldn’t be allowed in the house.

Mild violence

There is mild violence in most computer games. Do you let them play Mario based games where you're encouraged to shoot characters with fireballs, push them off ledges and smash into them with cars? Zelda? Star Wars?

What about Minecraft where children are encouraged to stab villagers with swords and pickaxes and slaughter sweet looking animals by bludgeoning them to death? Fighting hoardes of zombies and other enemies?

If you let your children play these games, why not Fortnite? It's far less violent than Minecraft.

Also, it is not similar to Cod at all. Yes they both involve shooting others, as do many games. COD is very realistic and so are the deaths. The guns are real, there is blood. Some of the games are about real events in real places with realistic human people. There is in game bad language and very graphic content.

Fortnite has cartoon graphics with different characters, is played on a cartoon map which is the same every time. Yes you shoot people as you do in many children's games but there is no blood, you don't 'die', no bad language or graphic content and everything is aimed at children.

The games are worlds apart.

Have you played both , Nearlythesummer, to make that comparison?

nearlythesummer the graphics, the special effects (blood, guts the whole shebang) is a LOT more realistic in COD. Again, if it’s an adult playing who can cope with that, fine. Not a child though.

I did write upthread but not sure if it’s been lost but COD prompted a Combat PTSD related episode for BIL when his (old enough) son played it. The noise was just too realistic for him and he became very ill.

So while I’m not COD bashing, and can appreciate there are many adults who enjoy it, it is absolutely in no way suitable for children.

We don't have it mainly because I've heard how frustrated the kids get when they're playing with others and then get called away for dinner or something, or "I just need to finish this game".

That has certainly been our experience, it's a blasted nuisance and has caused more arguments than I care to remember. Oddly the xbox remote disappeared in mysterious circumstances the other day and DS can't find it anywhere if he tidies his room he'll find it under the clean laundry he's supposed to have put away last week

As for COD, I've heard of a lot of primary school children who play it but there is no way that would be allowed here. I have a very strict rule of no 18s but I'd allow Fortnite.

Given that most teens and pre teens would be gaming in their rooms and their parents wouldn't be there watching them, I'd be surprised if they (the children who are "not allowed") haven't already played it.

Unless an adult is actually there with them whilst they are playing you pretty much have no control over what they do and don't play.

Given that most teens and pre teens would be gaming in their rooms and their parents wouldn't be there watching them, I'd be surprised if they (the children who are "not allowed") haven't already played it.

Well seeing as DS has no television, computer or tablet in his room, I'm pretty secure that he doesn't play it. The only things we have are a Wii (got it years ago for free with the television) and he likes playing Wii Sports on that, which I'm ok with. If you're child is locking themselves away and playing games that you don't want them to, then that is down to your parenting.

So the issue with fortnite is not the mindless violence then?

I’m that parent. We are big gamers, but we don’t have fortniite or roblox or anything with online chat. That may make me unpopular and it may make my son less popular but I’ll live with that.

And if they were going to someone else’s house I’d make it clear that I don’t want them playing it there either.

Candi Sithers and Stephen Fork

Fortnite is fine. DS is 10 and loves it.

Never played COD but there are a couple of gamers who've posted to say no so I'd take their informed opinions.

Games are funny ratings wise tbh. Star Wars Battlefront is a PEGI 16 yet if it was a film it would be a U or a PG on a bad day.

Obviously Doom and such games are 18 for a reason but on some things, allow some leeway.

Zombie...