Just Broken -DD

[Broken1000]

Have NC for this.

Please don’t judge me.

My DD and I were always so close. As soon as her periods started at 13 she changed into another person.

I’ve fought like mad to help her. Changed schools, she’s been diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve been to all the relevant parenting classes. I’ve fought for CAHMS and a family support worker and RESPONSE. She’s totally off the rails - drinking to the extreme, ignoring the family support contracts we put in place, getting a bit physical, total school refusal but will go out with “friends” but then comes home pissed and crying.

I just honestly can’t work out what’s real mental health and what’s behaviour. I’ve always been such a strong parent but I just don’t want to get it wrong. Sorry I may drip-feed but I’m so unhappy. I don’t know where my lovely, bubbly little girl went and I’m crying so much. I don’t know how to treat it.

Do you think she would consider using one of the period/health tracking ups? There are quite a few out now that enable tracking cycles, moods, exercise and activity, medical issues, even skin and hair issues. Clue allows sharing between people which might work well for you both to have more information if she is up for it.

*apps, obviously.

Concerta XL has changed my life.

What dose was your DD on and was there a reason for her changing to Strattera?

Please feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I am being too nosey!!!

The pill absolutely transformed my mental health. Went on it at 19 and never told my mum as she wouldn’t have approved, but i honestly went from being an emotional, volatile, crazy mess to a mostly normal, rational calm person within a few months. Got to be worth a try!

And ps. No it won’t affect her choice to have/not have sex! And will keep her safe from pregnancy if she does!

Totally agree with Conker. Being on the pill will not make your dd have sex, but it will protect her against pregnancy if she does.

My Family Support Worker is just amazing. I thought she would withdraw today but she’s been a bloody rock. I talked about the pill to her and she said she or the RESPONSE worker could go to an appointment with her if she won’t go with me.

She changed meds because Straterra is meant to also treat anxiety and sleeplessness.

@Slimmingsnake. So sorry. I hope you’re okay now x

I downloaded a period app but as she splits her time between me and her Dad I couldn’t track them without being intrusive.

FSW coming back to see DD at 2.30 after seeing me for over an hour this morning. CAMHS and Paediatrician next week.

I know people have had bad experiences with mental health professionals but I can’t praise mine enough. They don’t have a magic wand but by God they’re trying.

Sorry that wasn't helpful ,I meant to do a long post ,but my iPad is playing up...the pill helped me ,I'm on one where I don't get a break ,no period ,no pms..might help for a short time..I think I was 17 when I went on it thou ,so a bit older.good luck op x

@slimmingsnake thank you lovely. At least you are trying hard to help yourself. That's the ONLY thing I get frustrated with my DD about. Life can be hard - she needs to do SOMETHING to help herself.

I remember a friend whose premenstrual tension was so bad she set fire to the house and was actually sectioned. It had taken numerous trips to doctors for a number of years because of such dreadful behaviour before anyone eventually put two and two together and came up with the answer. After treatment she became a different girl. I'm not saying this is what it is but it's worth looking into.

Oil of primrose ..isn't that meant to be good for pmt

Evening Primrose Oil is meant to be good as are B vitamins, particularly Para-Aminobenzoic Acid (often PABA on a vitamin label), because it helps estrogen (and many other hormones) circulate better and keep it from getting too low (estrogen is lowest as a period starts and when too low or out of balance with progesterone, a lot of things, included mood and focus issues, can show up as symptoms). I've heard both are good for menstrual and menopause issues because of that.

Maybe, as a slow start to getting to do something for her health, a vitamin or two and having her track her health issues herself so she has to think it through and hopefully see the patterns, could be good. As someone who as a teen struggled eating and showering and often truant and did other high risk behaviours, other than that, the best thing I can think of - is there anyone beyond you and her father than she might listen to better, a family friend or one of her friends who might be willing to do the hand holding (watching her take pills and stuff). As annoying as that is, that hand holding and alarms can be really needed to get into new habits when mood/brain doesn't want to cooperate but having you or her father do it might be a barrier for many reasons. When I was (and sometimes when I struggle still), the best thing was having someone else help encourage and even ensure I did those basics of self care which eventually resulted in less risky behaviour.

This sounds like my daughter, who was also diagnosed with ADHD.
She was seen at Camhs & I was offered psychotherapy there as parent support which I found amazing. There’s a book called Understanding 12-14 year olds which I recommend by Margot Waddell, it’s like a saviour for me. People tell me it doesn’t last & they come through it, you just have to sit it out. So that’s what I’m doing.

" I won’t risk the pill because of her risk taking behaviour. "
OP, what do you mean by that?