What do you think about this father?

[Pinkdust98]

Lives close and wants to see the children several times a week for a few hours, sometimes at my house. Other times he picks them up from school and takes them out, is very protective of the children and plays with them. But.. he doesn't pay for them, doesn't buy them clothes/toys, or presents, doesn't pay for their activities but will come and watch. He doesn't pay for their school uniforms. Anything the children need/want, you buy it.

When living together he never got up with the children, never changed a nappy, never bathed them, never cooked for them, never read books with/for them, never got up with them when they were ill. Would only take them out here and there with his mum.

Is this a deadbeat dad, wise MNers?

Go to cms today
Its ridiculous that you even let him see them when he's not paying maintenance

Yes he's a deadbeat Dad and sadly one of many assholes who feels no obligation to help provide for their children.

It's too bad men like that aren't born sterile.

Shocking behaviour. Are you frightened of him? You must realise he's taking you for a fool OP.

Time to go through CMS, you should've done it a long time ago. It's not money for you, it's for your DC, you owe it to them to get what they are entitled to.

Are you scared of him? Do you have reason to be?

Honestly you need to get onto cms AND stop him using your home for his contact time - that's when you're supposed to get a break! He needs to take them to his or out somewhere - also so he's paying for the meals they have on his time. He's totally taking the piss!!

By allowing him to treat you this way you're also showing your DC to be doormats to him - as they get older there will be things they challenge him on if you don't stand up to him how are they supposed to? Or to anyone for that matter?

How old are they? How is he physically accessing your home, do they have a key or are you letting him in?

Cms today. Any questions or backchat from him just refer it back to cms. Stop letting him into your home, you need to distance yourself from him. Fine for him to have a relationship with the dc but you don't pay to facilitate it.