My 7yr old needs a filling!!! Where am I going wrong???

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I am mortified but also, really confused.
We are annoyingly particular about what our children eat, and their health etc. they have the odd treat if going to a party or something but we don't have chocolate, sweets, fizzy drinks, fruit juice, cakes, biscuits in the house etc. We avoid process food and make 95% of our meals ourselves (even rearing our own meat and growing our own veg). They are both very healthy, fit children.
They both brush their teeth for 1min each twice a day and we follow it by us brushing their teeth for another two minutes. DS's and 7 and 5.
DS1 needs a filling and dentist accused me of neglecting his teeth, but then DS2 has 'the most perfect' teeth he had seen in a 5 year old. After seeing DS2's he backed off his parenting rant and said he had never seen two siblings with such different teeth - even asking me if DH and I were separated and the children lived in separate houses?
Where am I going wrong with DS1 - I've been looking at enamel problems or am I missing something health wise? Feel absolutely mortified today and like I failed my child!!

I had similar with ds, dentist told me the problem was likely caused during pregnancy. Could have been something as simple as a cold at the wrong time during development, don't beat yourself up.

My ds teeth were not right from the moment they came through it was not anything to do with juices (he only had milk or water) diet, inadequate brushing etc
My other dc were ok and we did the same with all of them !

Re inhalers and other medication/juices - I have a steroid inhaler and DS has medication he takes in juice. Our dentist said brush first, morning and night, then take medication, otherwise you are brushing weakened teeth.

Re the OP I assume you are using fluoride toothpaste?

@Chrisinthemorning I'm not currently in general practice it's interesting that you're seeing more hypomineralised enamel.

I agree fruit especially raisins are such a big problem, especially when I worked in a private practice in a very naice area.

You're doing nothing wrong. Some people just have crappier teeth than others

This. My ds is a lazy so and so who doesn't clean his teeth properly all the time and has zero fillings. I have no idea how not. I was similarly lazy and had about 4 by his age (15) but I lived in the 1970s drill and bill culture.

Dental decay is not caused by diet! Some people get to their late 40s and have never had a filling and eat anything they want. Obviously it helps not to eat loads of sugar and in particular not drink loads of soft drinks and juices but either you have decent teeth or you don't.

My brother has beautiful teeth but mine are a nightmare. I have receding gums caused by malocclusion which I had corrected five years ago. However the damage is done - my teeth are like tombstones on the bottom - massive gaps - as I had corrective braces as a teen which worked but then they all shuffled back meaning the teeth I had removed below left spaces for them to shuffle into. The malocclusion has also caused structural damage so it remains to be seen whether they all fall out at the bottom! They are horribly sensitive but at least the top row look nice which is all you can see when I smile!

I brush at least three times a day, use tepee brushes and mouth wash. I get told off every. Single. Dental visit even though I do everything I can.

I think it’s the luck of the draw - I was raised no differently to the rest of my family and we all have different teeth!

@runningkeenster dental decay is completely bacteria in plaque feeding on sugars in the diet.

When doing dental education talks I often tell children that plaque is bacteria poo - this makes them much more enthusiastic about brushing!

completely caused by

Thank goodness someone who knoŵs what they are talking about has appeared !
Good advice Elfride