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AIBU?

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Original poster

Demonisation of formula!!!

996 replies

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 09:52

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

OP posts:
BounceAndJump · 02/08/2018 10:54

I haven't watched it yet, but more detailed information about breastfeeding is surely a good thing. I've lost track of the amount of people who I've heard saying its only the colostrum/first few days that matters.

A programme giving a detailed explanation of the benefits could also help stop a lot of breastfeeding judgement (from older relatives for example) as it allows the mum to just give it as a source of information rather than getting dragged into having to defend their choices.

My mil disregarded anything I said about it and I think having something to back up what I was saying might have helped stop the constant criticism.

Ennirem · 02/08/2018 10:54

Something I have heard a lot of women say is that they hate pumping not just because of the time input or discomfort because it makes them feel like a cow. I very rarely pumped (was trying to build up a store for when baby was older so she could have the odd bottle, but turned out to be a staunch bottle refuser, and my high lipase milk tasted like vom after freezing Envy so I pack it in) but I always really loved watching the bottle fill up, felt so cool I could make actual food out of my body... does anyone else who pumps feel like this about it? I suppose if you're doing it on the regular the magic gets old pretty quick though...

tiktok · 02/08/2018 10:55

Follow on has extra iron compared to first infant formula (of no benefit) and the protein balance is different (casein dominant vs whey dominant - of no benefit).

It's likely to be more suitable than ordinary cows milk as a drink for a six month old, but if a baby is happy on first infant formula there is no reason, nutritionally, to change.

MairyHole · 02/08/2018 10:56

Yep! I read an article in the Guardian about the tactics being employed by formula companies in countries like the Philippines and it made me feel sick. Babies dying or being malnourished because their parents have been convinced by advertising to formula feed and they can't afford to buy enough for full feeds. Of course once they start supplementing it's very difficult to rebuild supply.

It really made me feel sad and I wonder how they get away with it. Whoever suggested a not for profit formula manufacturer is a genius and I would financially support that for sure, to stick it to the big formula companies!

SnuggyBuggy · 02/08/2018 10:58

The number of the beast! 😈

Original poster
Summertimehaze · 02/08/2018 10:58

I pumped for 3 months and it was super tough!! I take my hat off to pumpers!

I think people coming on without reading the thread and commenting is pointless. The conversation has moved on and there is a lot of personal and interesting insights here!!!

It’s not as simple as me suggesting that the positives of BF can’t be explored! That’s not what I’m saying at all. I KNOW the benefits of BM.

One thing I can see in many posts is guilt and questioning with whatever way you feed your baby. This is what has to stop!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
MairyHole · 02/08/2018 10:58

Yes Ennirem! That's exactly how pumping feels for me. I don't really mind it, though I'm starting to get tired of the faff. I did have a colleague sat very loudly to me "eurgh, you're like a cow"

I should have said yes - I am a mammal after all! What's so wrong with that? But of course I was caught off guard and embarrassed so I didn't say anything at all.

Ifeelshit · 02/08/2018 11:01

turned out to be a staunch bottle refuser, and my high lipase milk tasted like vom after freezing are you me ennirem? I pumped more than 10 litres for the local milk bank as I seemed to be quite good at it and also had some for DS, but I couldn't stand the smell due to the lipase so no wonder he wouldn't take it!

Ennirem · 02/08/2018 11:02

Always the way Mairy! I had some real zingers lined up in my head for anyone who gave me shit for bf'ing - but when my mother in law (lovely) said "I just don't think your milk was rich enough for her, she must have been so hungry!" when we were looking back at her colicky months, all I could do was walk into the kitchen and mouth swearwords at the wall 😆

Original poster
Summertimehaze · 02/08/2018 11:02

@ennirem I was fortunate to have a really strong supply and could fill two 6oz bottles in 15 mins ... there was something really satisfying about watching my body do that.

But the pumping plus feeding my LO around the clock ... being trapped at home ... just took its toll and I had to stop.

OP posts:
Ennirem · 02/08/2018 11:04

lfeelshit, soooo frustrating isn't it??? Had to put all mine in DD's bath... And then she smelled Grin

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 11:04

As mentioned, I was desperate to breastfeed and always intended to but it turned out we were physically unable to. I know of plenty of other mums in real life who definitely don't feel that they made a choice in how they've ended up feeding their child

I've rarely met a woman who didn't bf (or didn't for long etc) who didn't say that they were physically unable to, or didn't have enough milk etc etc. Which makes you wonder how in other countries 98% of women are physically able to and such massive numbers in the UK are not.

Or is it because women become convinced they are not able to when they actually can? Seems far more likely.

SnuggyBuggy · 02/08/2018 11:06

I actually had quite a good pump this morning. Maybe last night's cluster feeding clusterfuck paid off. Having a baby has really got me in touch with my mammalian side.

Ifeelshit · 02/08/2018 11:12

Or is it because women become convinced they are not able to when they actually can? Seems far more likely.

I think these women truly believe they were unable to but this is due to misinformation and lack of informed, adequate support. I think the amount genuinely unable to breastfeed is much, much smaller (but is obviously actually there!).

Ifeelshit · 02/08/2018 11:13

Snuggybuggy I found pumping whilst feeding off the other side gave me the best results. I used to get 9 ounces in less than 10 minutes. But having said that I needed a muslin shoved down my bra at each feed as breastpads didn't cut it!

BuntyII · 02/08/2018 11:18

'God I couldn't have been doing with all that sterilising bottles malarkey right after giving birth. There's enough to do as it is'

Put bottles in steriliser. Press button. Why do some people make out that making up bottles is a massive ordeal Confused

SnuggyBuggy · 02/08/2018 11:18

Pumping while feeding is a skill worth learning. I don't produce so much as that though.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 11:21

Put bottles in steriliser. Press button. Why do some people make out that making up bottles is a massive ordeal

Pretty sure yu need to wash the bottles first, and its a faff getting all the milk remnants out. Plus making them up, fresh each time, so much faff.

PasstheStarmix · 02/08/2018 11:23

‘ I found pumping whilst feeding off the other side gave me the best results. I used to get 9 ounces in less than 10 minutes. But having said that I needed a muslin shoved down my bra at each feed as breastpads didn't cut it!’

I couldn’t have done this as ds used to feed on other side once he was finished and i wouldn’t have had enough milk. I literally only got milk if I missed a feed and even then it took hours. Not all woman can pump and this has no indication on what baby gets.

BounceAndJump · 02/08/2018 11:23

@manaftermidnight I think sometimes women are told they can't too. I have a friend who really wanted to, but the midwife advised topping up as her weight had dropped to a lower percentile.

That resulted in her milk supply dropping and by the time the health visitor told her to ignore that advice the baby was crying after feeds where she presumably wasn't getting enough due to the supply drop.
Once on formula her weight then remained on the line that it had 'dropped' to anyway.

PasstheStarmix · 02/08/2018 11:24

‘Pretty sure yu need to wash the bottles first, and its a faff getting all the milk remnants out. Plus making them up, fresh each time, so much faff.’

If you use a bottle brush it’s easy really. I found breastfeeding, dealing with leaking and washing pump equipment a lot more fatty.

PasstheStarmix · 02/08/2018 11:24

faffy* rather

Ennirem · 02/08/2018 11:32

Full sympathy Summertime, I am in awe of pumping mums. Huge commitment of time and it's not best for everyone in the round, in the end.

My baby went through a huge phase of refusing to feed unless we were lying down together... So I was free to anywhere, as long as there was a bed in it Grin Feeling housebound even for that little while really wore me down so I can 100% understand why someone wouldn't be better off under a regime like that.

Sleepyblueocean · 02/08/2018 12:02

I had to pump because ds couldn't latch. All the pumping (30 minutes each time), topping up with formula, sterilising and making up bottles as well as continuing to try to get him to latch and giving his bottles ( which could take 30 minutes) and having to do this every 2-3 hours because he was prem all made me completely miserable. I look back at that time as an awful time. I was so relieved when I made the decision to switch to just formula at 8 weeks.

hellohello12345 · 02/08/2018 12:06

I find the debate so tiresome. I chose to formula feed both my children because I wanted to not because I couldn't breast feed

I'm happy with my choice.

Each to their own.

I'm sick of being told breast is best but I'm equally sick of those who couldn't breast feed so had to formula feed banging on about how they wanted to breast feed.

Just take the emotion out and do what gets for you and your baby without guilt.