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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People you had a sixth sense about and were right

481 replies

HarryPotterISreal · 30/07/2018 22:24

I’ve just been reading one of the spooky threads here and a poster talked about someone she got a bad feeling about and some months later was arrested for abuse or something. When someone is arrested who is a ‘pillar of the community’ someone always says ‘I never liked him, I could always tell’.

Do you have a story where you genuinely knew someone was bad news, though everyone else thought they were wonderful? How could you tell and did others eventually see their true colours?

OP posts:
NewYearNewMe18 · 30/07/2018 22:26

I cant stand the barmaid in the local pub.

Spotted her dealing the other night.

ChocAuVin · 30/07/2018 22:28

New bloke at work. Left to ‘move away.’

I’d ‘had a word with myself’ about my instant dislike — everyone deserves a chance, etc... didn’t write in his goodbye card or anything (weird for me).

Next thing was a horrid splash in the tabloids about his conviction for child sex offences.

Watto1 · 30/07/2018 22:32

Flat mate and I were trying to find a third flatmate. We met a girl who was keen to move in. I had a strange feeling about her but nothing I could put my finger on so we agreed that she could have the spare room. Within 2 weeks of moving in she was shagging my boyfriend.

HarryPotterISreal · 30/07/2018 22:33

drug dealing?

OP posts:
Fruitbatdancer · 30/07/2018 22:35

Shirley Ballas. Disliked her from moment she entered strictly judging. Thought she was stern and cold. Everyone else loved her. Just watched who do you think you are and seeing her with her mum, like a cold wet fish, I realise inital observation was correct!

Redinthefacegirl · 30/07/2018 22:36

Sadly the opposite. A trusted colleague is in prison for raping a stranger on a night out. I was really really shocked. Along with many others.

sar501 · 30/07/2018 22:38

I met a so-called friend for the first time at a social gathering. I immediately felt unsure about her. She turned out to be a complete narcissist. She used and abused the kindness of so many people and she slept with my then partner at the time. She was a terrible friend but I put up with it for too long because I was young and didn’t have a shred of self confidence.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 30/07/2018 22:45

I had a horrible feeling about the man who raped me for years beforehand. But I was only young and he was a family friend so couldn't really do much.

bullyingadvice2017 · 30/07/2018 22:46

Yes 3different men who have been friends partners. All nasty abusive twats. All massively bowled over and blinded by them at first. All made my skin crawl

GuiltyPleasure · 30/07/2018 22:46

Someone I only had contact with as a carer for my son. Family business - mum, daughter & son-in law. I never took to him, there was something sleazy about him. It didn't surprise me when he abandoned his wife shortly after the birth of their 3rd child for one of their younger employees

Easilyflattered · 30/07/2018 22:46

My uni housemate brought back a boyfriend who i just couldn't warm too. She ended up marrying him.

Then she ended up divorcing him after he was arrested for domestic violence and she'd endured an abusive marriage.

There was always something about him, like my sixth sense warning me that he had this underlying nasty streak.

BillywilliamV · 30/07/2018 22:47

Friend's DH, she adored him but when I met him the first time I thought "I wouldnt trust you as far as I could throw you".

My instimct was absolutely correct!

MissCharleyP · 30/07/2018 22:50

Don’t know who this was but years ago (30ish years) on holiday with parents and brother on the south coast (Weymouth or Bournemouth). One day we’d gone into town in the car, dad and brother had gone into a shop, I hadn’t wanted to go so me and mum waited in the car. There was a man stood a bit further up from the car just staring at us, even though I was only 8/9 I just felt frozen in fear and just felt an inexplicable terror, my mum felt the same and (I assume as she was frightened) started going on about how ridiculous I was for not wanting to go in the shop and how she didn’t like the look of him. She locked the car doors and he smirked. Never took his eyes off the car once. Still frightens me to think of it.

TheShapeOfEwe · 30/07/2018 22:52

Was always creeped out by a youngish (early 30s) male teacher at my school but he was wildly popular and all my friends adored him and had crushes on him. A couple of years after I left school it came out that he'd been 'in a relationship with' (i.e. grooming) a 15 year old student.

Tessliketrees · 30/07/2018 22:53

I think picking up on potential violent misogynists isn't a spooky 6th sense thing but rather a (unconscious?) survival technique for women.

iknowimcoming · 30/07/2018 22:54

Workman came to my house unannounced to collect money for a job he'd done, I was alone and he made me feel very uncomfortable and panicky, managed to get him to leave and made sure when I was out when he came back for the cash. He murdered his wife in front of their toddler the following year Sad

MadameGerbil · 30/07/2018 22:55

Yes, a friend of mine met a woman who seemed perfect for him. She seemed over-solictious towards me and for some reason i didn't like her but didn't know why. She now comes
Across as totally fake and has dropped the guise. She now repeats her behaviour on the next new person she meets who is a friend of my friend. I have no evidence but my 6th sense is screaming to me!😡

Furx · 30/07/2018 22:57

Best mates sisters boyfriend. Took an instant dislike, he had an air of bad boy charm, which I normally don’t mind, but I really struggled to be civil with him. Assumed it was my problem and just avoided socialising.
10 years later, turns out he was violent to her, and is now stalking and harassing her.

On the flip side, I met chap networking at work, seemed thoroughly decent, knowledgeable, he had some useful advice with various technical aspects of my career, and offered to keep in touch. Alas the 5 year stretch he is currently doing for sexual offences on minors means I won’t be taking him up on that.

I did not get ANY sixth sense at all about him. And that scares me.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 30/07/2018 23:03

It is scary when that happens Furx. The only person I know who has been convicted of similar crimes never once made my skin crawl or made me uneasy at all. I still find it impossible to reconcile the person I knew with what I now know to be true of him.

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie · 30/07/2018 23:03

Yes. The man who was in a relationship with my aunt for many years when I was young (after she and my uncle had divorced). I hated the way he looked at me - I can’t explain but it was like being examined by someone with no emotion, no empathy. Although he put on a good show of being a decent human being.

Had everyone else fooled for years and years, right up to the point my aunt’s six year old granddaughter told her mum he’d been abusing her for three years. Further enquiries revealed dear old “Uncle Jim” to have previous convictions for rape and sexual abuse.

NotWeavingButDarning · 30/07/2018 23:04

"Was always creeped out by a youngish (early 30s) male teacher at my school but he was wildly popular and all my friends adored him and had crushes on him. A couple of years after I left school it came out that he'd been 'in a relationship with' (i.e. grooming) a 15 year old student."

Ha! Exact same ShapeofEwe. I wonder if we were at the same school? Was he an English teacher, Mr. H by any chance?

Hofty · 30/07/2018 23:05

I get these feelings quite frequently. Sometimes I’m proved right, and sometimes nothing happens to prove the feelings. I’ve never been actually proved wrong though. I tend to get quite a powerful feeling about people soon after I’ve met them, I find that everyone radiates a vibe, be that good, bad or something a bit more complicated. I have had many memorable occasions of intense feeling just after meeting someone - I do believe that some people seem to send out ‘danger’ or alert’ signals while others are just light and good and I implicitly trust them immediately, my DH being the latter.

I’ve had acquaintances that I’ve felt ‘off’ about and distanced myself based purely on strength of feeling. I’ve also acted on instincts about strangers too. I’ve moved away from people on public transport before, and once left a shop because I felt that someone in it just meant me harm. It sounds absolutely ludicrous, I know it does, and I can’t prove that by acting on these feelings that I’ve saved myself from danger or upset. Nevertheless I always trust my instincts about people and situations. In the past when I haven’t I’ve later bitterly regretted it.

I’ve recently been proved right about one, my BIL. I’ve always had a funny feeling about him, just didn’t like him, I felt that he was a liar, cold, and manipulative, and I always wondered what went on in his relationship with sis behind closed doors. I’ve known him years, and I just put it down to him being a bit socially awkward and let DP talk me out of it. We’ve only very recently found out that he’s a serial cheat.

A very memorial one was an ex colleague who made every single one of my instincts scream. I hated being anywhere near him, he actually made me feel nauseous, and looking into his eyes was like looking into the void. He radiated such a dark presence, I’ve never ever had had such a strong reaction to someone. Based on his mannerisms, behaviour, and (lack of) relationships with others I think he’s a psychopath or at the very least has a personality disorder. He would form very surface level attachments and friendships, but they were always with people who fitted the image he was currently trying to project, or were useful to him in some way. He would discard people as soon as they weren’t useful anymore. He would change his look every few months and a whole new set of people would be required to prop it up. He used people like pawns in some elaborate game that only he was playing. He did some very nasty things to his girlfriend at the time, so in a way my instincts were proved right, but I think there’s much more to it than that. I’m certain that he’s capable of awful awful awful things. I fully expect to see those black eyes again on the news one day.

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie · 30/07/2018 23:06

Ps read The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker - all about trusting your gut.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 30/07/2018 23:08

This is a bit odd, so I need to preface with the fact that nothing even vaguely similar has ever happened to me before or since - it was a total one-off.

Not a person, but years and years ago, I was unthinkingly walking along, when I came to a particular part of a path that I'd been close to but never actually walked along before.

I was suddenly struck with absolute terror and certainty that I was about die or that something terrible was just about to happen there. I literally fell to my knees and scrabbled around on the ground in panic. I was sort of screaming and trying to tell someone that someone was about to die.

Someone helped me up, although I think they thought I was crazy, and I went on my way, feeling so odd and upset. I learned later that a very short time after, there was a murder and a second attempted murder (members of the same family) on that very spot, not long after I left.

Really shook me up, just can't explain it all these years later!

Peakypolly · 30/07/2018 23:09

My DH asked me to not leave our DC (then 12 and 8) unsupervised with the 11yo boy next door. DH said he couldn't put his finger on it but something made him feel uneasy about the lad.
It was awkward for me, DH worked away much of the time and I got on well with my neighbours and found their DS charming and naturally boisterous. Thankfully we were renting until our new home was refurbished so only stayed for six months.
I have kept in touch with my ex-neighbour and her son is now in a young offender facility after a serious assault on a young woman.
My DH felt something was not quite right having met the boy only twice when he was playing in the front garden with our kids. Seems he was spot on with his judgement.