People you had a sixth sense about and were right

[HarryPotterISreal]

I’ve just been reading one of the spooky threads here and a poster talked about someone she got a bad feeling about and some months later was arrested for abuse or something. When someone is arrested who is a ‘pillar of the community’ someone always says ‘I never liked him, I could always tell’.

Do you have a story where you genuinely knew someone was bad news, though everyone else thought they were wonderful? How could you tell and did others eventually see their true colours?

Just read this and it prompted something that has worried me. There is a person i am friendly with (not really a friend) who has recently split from her same sex partner. Her DD (no relation to her ex partner) has chosen to stay with the ex partner , both ex partner and the DD are posting pics on social media that just don't really seem like a parent/child type of relationship. DD is almost 16 and everytime i see what on the surface seems a "nice" huggy type pic i just get that feeling all is not above board. My neice is friends with the DD and has commented on how the ex partner is influencing the DD and persuading her that she should not contact any of her family and that her friends are not really friends. After reading this thread i'm going to make a call tomorrow.

I encounter someone currently really don’t like him, it’s a visceral reaction
Except everyone else thinks he’s charming,funny,clever,top bloke
I think he’s a creepy duplicitous odious man...

I cannot stand my SIL's partner. He gives me the absolute shivers and I can't put my finger on why. DH and FIL don't like him either but they write him off as just a bit of an idiot. I don't think he's stupid at all, but I think that's what he wants them to think.

I haven't been proven right yet (as in, he's moved SIL away from her family and friends, got her financially up shit creek and alienated her children, but hasn't actually done anything really nasty ) and I hope for her sake I never am. But I have a horrible feeling I will be.

Ian Huntley when he appeared on the news giving an interview about the missing girls.I immediately told my husband "he did it". I was right

Me too. I just knew. I wiill never forget how sad that was, still is.

The thing is, though, we want to feel like we are not so vulnerable, so after the fact, maybe we say ‘oh, I could always tell’ when really we are misremembering, fooling ourselves.

Unless you write it down somewhere, we risk creating a new ‘history’.

I tend to get vibes off people. Not in a wok way just there attitude and intentions shining through.

I used to always ignore it, thinking I was being unfair.

Now I never would.

Some of my teachers I felt this way with. None have convictions I'm aware of but one was accused of rape and the other openly told a trainee member of staff (so 18/19) that some school girls were hot and he wouldn't mind. He also used to stroke my hair. I thought that the first time I saw him.

Sometimes i will hear a man or woman talk and ill hear it. That hidden bitterness or an underlying sadistic pleasure or worse - complete contempt.

@GorgeousJaws , I actually watched that last night for the first time. It was heartbreaking, I had to watch all three episodes

Growing up I took an instant dislike to one of the 2 ministers in our church, he gave me the creeps. Don’t know why but I was certain, even at a young age, that he shouldn’t be around children. No one else I asked saw an issue. Moved away from the area age 16 but have always wondered if I’d see him on the news one day.

I don't have the spidey sense and it frightens me that I don't.

I've worked in Adult Ed for years and meet all kinds of people, which is wonderful. Generally I look for the positive in people but I always thought I was a pretty good judge of character. Then I found out a guy I'd taught a few years ago had been jailed for rape and sexual assault which had happened during the time he'd been in my class. He was a model student and I had been so pleased with what he achieved. Had he asked for a reference, I'd have written him a glowing one. Makes me shudder to think of that.

My friend in the police tells me that it's not me, it's just the fact that these people are so good at appearing to be decent people. Still, I no longer trust my own judgement and actually that's quite hard.

I'm another who felt exactly the same about Ian Huntley.

As soon as he appeared on TV I just knew he was guilty.

.

That Fred? bloke who used to do the weather on this morning, jumping around his floating map. I used to turn the tv over.

There's a couple of men who were/are on Countrywide who make me feel iffy.

I do tend to have the spidey sense, but sadly it didn't work with EXH as he was very good at covering his true personality.

Agree with pp who picked up on Ian Huntley and Jimmy Saville; both of them instaneously gave me the creeps.

I have a good friend who married this man. He just absolutely creeped me out, to the point where I couldn't even bring myself to be bridesmaid for her (I did try to give myself a big talking to, but I just couldn't do it). Fortunately, I had just had a baby so used that as an excuse.
I always felt that he would be the type to murder a sex worker, if that makes sense.
Fast forward a few years and after a few incidents that were explained away, she finally discovered that he had been using sex workers throughout their marriage. He admitted that he would have carried on if she hadn't found out, so she left and they divorced.

I still am waiting for him to make the headlines but obv am hoping to be proved wrong

I used to think that I was a very bad judge of character, but it's more that I tended to ignore my first reactions to people. I was too worried about people liking me to think for a moment about whether I liked them, or if they were safe to be around.

This bears repeating.
I read The Gift Of Fear years ago but have not respected my instincts and am trying to stop giving everyone a bloody ‘chance.’

my ex SIL.
I took an instant dislike to her, she was right up her own arse.
Didn't surprise me when my DB admitted she'd been abusing him their whole marriage and had even blackmailed him into marrying her.
She's a Narc.

Yes. I normally get on with and like most people. I hated a new colleague and I couldn't understand why. I couldn't trust her or take to her and what made it worse everyone seemed to love her. I thought maybe it was me being jealous but I'm not that sort of person. I think she knew I could see through her. She eventually did something illegal at work and involved me in it and I could have lost my job. It was found out that she was a compulsive liar and she eventually left.

@mummyof2munchkins
Trust your instincts, make the call. Better to be wrong than wrong, I always say.

OH, and a male teacher.

PE teacher when I was at secondary school in the early 90s. I'd known his DD for a while, she was in the year above me. He was one of those PE teachers who liked to come into the girls changing rooms to 'hustle' us along or 'just coming through' as the exits went through the changing rooms.

I later found out a couple of years after I left, he was charged with sexual assault of a 15yo girl, and during the trial, several others came forward.

I too would say I have good instincts about people, and always act on them. DH takes my instincts seriously too, especially since I made him turn down a couple of contracts years ago that looked lucrative but ended up making the people who did take them go bust.

The only time I can say with certainty my instincts about an individual were spot on was about 25 years ago when I was waiting (and waiting) for a bus in a London suburb late one evening. A middle-aged lady in a car pulled over and offered me a lift, and in all honesty I might have been tempted except for a really bad feeling, not even of danger prticularly but just of darkness or badness. I said no, not a problem, and she pressed me a bit, saying she'd feel bad if anything happened to me ('you read such dreadful stories' etc). It sounds hokey, but it's the sort of thing I would do now if I saw a young women stranded somewhere at night, and it didn't seem suspicious at a rational level but I just had a really strong sense that I was safer at that bus stop. Anyway, to cut a long story short, it turned out to be a man presenting pretty bloody convincingly as a woman, and he turned out to have a string of sexual abductions to his name.

That's the only time I've ever known for sure how the story ended, but I get 'bad feelings' occasionally about people or situations and I always pay heed.

I also have a strong nose for deceit. For instance, a friend's DH recently confessed to an affair and this is a guy who you would have put money on never ever being unfaithful. But somehow I knew, almost like being psychic. I had to wait while it all played out over nearly two years before coming out into the open, because there was nothing concrete I could point to, just a certainty.

I've wondered if that kind of 'sixth sense' is related to being autistic. As an aspie, I've learned to construct the world's largest (it sometimes feels!) database of human behaviour in my head, so I can check people's actions against the prior experience of a lifetime and make a quickly calculated decison about how to respond. The older I get, the more comprehensive the dataset and the swifter the calculation - too swift to notice but based on experience rather than anything more woo. I was pretty naive as a youngster, which backs up this idea to some extent. I'd be interested in whether any other aspies relate to that as an idea.

Not as sinister as some of these but I was repulsed by my DH's colleague when I first met her. There was something predatory about her but everyone seemed to think she was sweet and vulnerable and in need of looking after.

Not only did she try to seduce my DH but nearly every male colleague or supplier she worked with. She caused chaos in that work place and slept with loads of people including a very junior (apprentice level) employee. She is utterly shameless about the problems she has caused to the point that I think she has a major personality disorder. There is something a bit 'dead-eyed' about her.

However I didn't spot a colleague who was convicted of fraud. That shook our office as no one saw that coming.

It's very easy to have a "hindsight" response to someone,

Only once have I had a realtime response and that was my best friend's new boyfriend. Attractive but not intimidatingly so,very intelligent, worked in a caring profession. best friend feeling very happy... what's not to like? And yet within 10 seconds of him walking into the room on our first meeting my hackles were up. Got a subsequent telling off for my cold reaction (confused and hurt from best friend, bemused from husband) so tried to squash the feeling for the sake of those who love me but couldn't.

And then he turned out to be creepy as fuck... not sure I believe in "six sense" but within seconds something this "lovely" man was doing had me on high alert... but actually he was an averagely good looking and intelligent person in a lovely job and there was no rational reason for me to have such a visceral response to his mere presence in the room.

DH made a new friend through a hobby, I had this instant dislike and couldn't work out why, he just made my skin crawl. He quite clearly didn't like me either and made lots of snide 'jokey' comments trying to wind me up, lots of little sexist jokes etc then would comment on my temper, the way I spoke to DH and generally shit stirring, got to the point I threw him out the pub I was working in one night because he was drunk and really annoying me and he phoned DH in tears and told DH that he should keep me under control. DH at this point apologised to me and agreed the guy was a bit of a dickhead and they stopped hanging out.

Anyway, few months later he was arrested, turned out he had done the same with another man, offered him a place to stay after an argument with his wife, spiked his drink and sexually assaulted him, took photos then tried to blackmail him.

I do trust my instincts mostly now about people, although I question them all the time though, incase I have got it wrong.

I also sometimes know who is calling before I pick up, or what people are going to say , news etc, before they say it. For example, a couple of weeks ago I dreamt my friend's daughter was pregnant (which was a really, really random thing to have a dream about) but I was certain about it so I said to DH 'awww is pregnant'. We saw our friend later in the day and I said to them 'how is ?' and they said 'oh .. she's pregnant'. I can't explain how I knew because there was no way for me to know about it. I think that I can only do it with people I know. DH thinks I'm a freak it doesn't happen much.

Weird!

This happened to me today.

I saw online that a local business man has been convicted of sexual assault on 2 women, I am sure there are more. I rang mum and she said she had seen it and 'I said to your dad "Pyong said she didnt like or trust him the first moment she met him" and you were right!" He was my FIL's boss at the time and he was involved in my MIL's funeral. He was rude and obnoxious to me and clearly only interested in speaking to penis owners. My husband got very angry with him and pointed out that due to the circumstances of her death, he and his father were struggling so I was the one arranging everything so he needed to listen and do what I said. You could tell he was furious at being instructed to listen to a woman. I would have changed companies but FIL felt he had no choice but to use him as he worked for him.

So yes, I do get it and every single time so far I have been proved right.

Ignore your instinct to your cost.