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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a bit off....But not sure why.

461 replies

Shortstuff08 · 30/07/2018 15:33

So, I had to go get the morning after pill today. I went to a high street retailer that has a pharmacy. They had a sign saying they provided it.

The woman behind the counter asked me if I was wanting the free one or to pay for it. I said that I assumed I would have to pay. She went away and came back and said they didn't provide the free one. I said that was fine and she told me that the Pharmacist would come our to see me in minute. A man approached me and asked if I was waiting. He then told me that he 'couldn't' provide MAP. I asked if they didn't have any and he said 'no, we do, but I can't give it'

Fair enough, I went to another high street store. Spoke to the Pharmacist there, she asked me a few questions about medication I am on and the gave me it. I said I was relieved she could as the other store couldn't give me it and thought I would spend all day looking for somewhere. She asked me where I had been and then said that some pharmacists, don't give it out due to religious purposes.

I don't think that's ok. If it's your job, how can you refuse on religious grounds? Or are some Pharmacists not able to administer it? Or am I being an arse in thinking that you should just do your job?

OP posts:
HushabyeMountainGoat · 30/07/2018 18:42

Not ok.

Presumably the pharmacist does not object to selling condoms or fulfilling prescriptions for oral contraceptives. It's not an abortion pill and I would expect a pharmacist to understand that.

funinthesun18 · 30/07/2018 18:48

NaomiNagata

But what if the woman or girl can’t get to another pharmacy in time? You need to take the MAP before a certain point in order for it to have a chance to work. In which case that pharmacist’s choice could have resulted in that woman’s pregnancy progressing against her wishes and he or she has no right to do that.

THEsonofaBITCH · 30/07/2018 18:49

People have every right to refuse to do something if it is against their beliefs, but still be able to function in their chosen career and be of benefit to people
As I posted, I vehemently disagree. In your private life sure, in public in your job no way. I would never be able to get away with I refuse on personal belief to help someone whose colour I hate (i believe no such thing this is just illustration). I saved the lives of anyone who needed it whether they violated my beliefs or not didn't matter if they were KKK, black, oriental, gay, transgender, male, female, old, young or anything else you want to insert as a descriptor. Would I seriously have been able to say at 180 feet below the water as a person took their last breath - "Oh sorry, I can see by your membership ring you are a member of the KKK so I'm going to leave you right here to die?" Confused

funinthesun18 · 30/07/2018 18:49

Sorry not pregnancy - potential pregnancy.

Sorry Blush

SoloD · 30/07/2018 18:52

I think you are perfectly justified in feeling off. Religious beliefs are one thing and they may well choose not to take the MAP, which is absolutely how it should be, but they have no right to deny you, me or anyone else of their choice.

FishingIsNotASport · 30/07/2018 18:56

People have every right to refuse to do something if it is against their beliefs, but still be able to function in their chosen career and be of benefit to people

Um, no they don't. You might want to read up on discrimination law.

Sleephead1 · 30/07/2018 19:03

They can refuse on religious belief we had a doctor where I work who would not refer for abortion but he explained that and made then a appointment with another doctor to do it. As far as I'm aware they can refuse but need to direct you to another doctor/ pharmacy.

JacquesHammer · 30/07/2018 19:10

I can't help but question the motives of someone who would go into a profession knowing they couldn't carry out the role to its fullest conclusion because of their beliefs.

THEsonofaBITCH · 30/07/2018 19:12

I can see it perfectly now. Person lying on the tarmac bleeding heavily after being hit by a car as we roll up the sun sinks below the horizon. "Hi Mr. Victim, unfortunately its against my religion to work after sundown but I can refer you to another service that will be here in about 15-20 minutes - hopefully before you bleed out, but realistically probably not, but you have a wonderful evening!" Hmm We did have a crew member who couldn't work post sundown but he always finished a call figuring god would forgive him.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2018 19:24

We did have a crew member who couldn't work post sundown but he always finished a call figuring god would forgive him.

What religion was he Bitch? I'm just interested.

I have Muslim, Hindu and Jewish friends, and as far as I am aware all of their faiths place respect for life and the individual above contravening Sabbaths etc.

I apologise if I'm wrong, though - my knowledge of any faith other than my own (Christianity) is obviously limited.

THEsonofaBITCH · 30/07/2018 19:30

SchadenfreudePersonified, he was Jewish not that it matters and you are agreeing with my point, HE always treated the person irrespective of Sabbath, the person's beliefs (he had to put up with a lot of prejudice) or any other issues. I vehemently disagree that a person can put their personal beliefs above the performance of their job, as did he and the rest of our crew, thankfully for the people we served in private do whatever you want/need but in your job you give up that right or give up that job if it conflicts too much/too often with your beliefs - quitting is your right

BigPinkBall · 30/07/2018 19:42

I’d say they’re in the wrong job if their religious beliefs prevent them from carrying out their duties, there are literally millions of other careers they could have chosen.

Maelstrop · 30/07/2018 19:48

There was a case recently in M&S, I think, where there was a cashier who refused to serve alcohol to a customer because her religion forbids her. IMO, someone who has made-up bollocks religious ideals should not take a job which prevents them from carrying out the job to the full. It’s just not acceptable.

If there’s a Muslim cashier, should she refuse to sell pork products or alcohol? Should we be asked for our marriage certificate if buying a pregnancy test in case the cashier is Christian? From pathos to bathos, I know, but where does it end?

Redrunbluerun · 30/07/2018 19:55

Religion should never get in the way of health care... this is 2018! There are so many religions and rules where would we be if we pussy footed around everything that may offend someone?

THEsonofaBITCH · 30/07/2018 20:02

Religion should never get in the way of health care... this is 2018! There are so many religions and rules where would we be if we pussy footed around everything that may offend someone?
But its okay if used to not serve someone food? Or clothing? Or a drink? Or....? Where does it stop? Needs to be kept out of job performance IMO.

Original poster
Shortstuff08 · 30/07/2018 20:04

Hi, sorry I went to the cinema.

I don't get people who say 'if it's refused on religious beliefs it's fine'.

Can these people tell me, what reasons they think it would not be ok to refuse?

I was born in Derry. I was brought up in a strict Catholic family and moved here when I was 2.

No one in my family has ever let their personal beliefs stop them helping someone. My nana supported my cousins girlfriend during her decision on wether to have an abortion or not. As far as she was concerned, it was not her decision to make so her beliefs meant jack shit.

So I just don't get the thinking.

And yes I didn't ask why. Because (as I have said several timea) I assumed it was a training issue. I didn't assume it was a religious reason. I was told that by the Pharmacist in the next place I went. Its a small town, she wasn't surprised that the other high street retailer had refused. So I assume it happened more than once.

I just can not believe that someone's personal beliefs trump a woman's rights.

OP posts:
Redrosebelle · 30/07/2018 20:30

I think when you make a decision to be a professional in certain remits (health care especially) you need to be prepared to put your own beliefs aside and do what’s best for people. If I was a Jehovah’s Witness also practising as a dr would I try and put someone off a blood transfusion? As a nurse could I refuse to care for a murderer because I didn’t like what they’d done? Nope. I might not agree with what needed doing, but I’d do it anyway, because when you make a decision to be a professional you’re making a decision to do what’s best for people.

NaomiNagata · 30/07/2018 20:37

When I was working in Quatar, if you wanted to buy pork then some markets did sell it but you had to get it from a different counter and it would be wrapped up and practically covered in hazard tape. Then, at the check out to pay for everyrhing else, the cashier would not handle it at all. But it didn't matter, because there was an alternative.

There is a Muslim girl in my local supermaket, and she has a sign at her checkout which is very clear to see and it says that you can't buy alcohol at that till. But it doesn't matter because there is always another till on.

There are other doctors to see, there are other pharmacists.

This is not the same as simply saying "this guy is racist, I'm not doing surgery on him". Saving a racists life does not directly cause a racists incident. But physically providing someone the MAP is being directly involved with the act, and by law they do no need to be involved if they don't want to be.

I don't agree with this particular one since it prevent pregnancy so is not the same as an abortion, but it is his right.

NaomiNagata · 30/07/2018 20:38

*Qatar

cheesemongery · 30/07/2018 20:42

MAP is not an abortion pill, most unprotected sex will not result in a pregnancy. Hence the statistics of MAP can never truly be known.

Where does that come in to religion? Is it a question of well you MIGHT fall pregnant therefore we can't allow you to take it?

Bonkers.

Glad you got sorted OP. Me and my ex had a mishap with a condom just before I was due to have the Mirena fitted. I went to Boots, was taken into a consultation room, fully expecting to pay, but I think she saw I was clocking on 40 and gave it for free.

Random, and haven't RTFT but are you young (you don't sound it) and are you in an area where potentially young girls could be using it on a regular basis instead of proper contraception? That's not a dig, I'd be livid if my teen daughter was refused it if asking.

Redrosebelle · 30/07/2018 20:43

But what if there wasn’t another pharmacist? What if the other pharmacist had refused in the same grounds? That’s not fair - that’s taking away a woman’s choice because she MIGHT get pregnant Confused

manaftermidnight · 30/07/2018 20:47

Strict catholic family but fine with abortion? Not that strict then, I'm sure its not beyond you to understand actually strict catholics aren't generally so open minded?

SimonBridges · 30/07/2018 20:52

There are other doctors to see, there are other pharmacists.

Not always.
I grew up in a small town. One GP and one pharmacy.

funinthesun18 · 30/07/2018 21:03

Strict catholic family but fine with abortion? Not that strict then,

Probably forced on to her by her parents. There’s not much a child can do about it when the family is religious. It’ll get rammed down their throat until they get chance to move out.

Now the op is an adult she is free to make whatever decisions she likes.

Original poster
Shortstuff08 · 30/07/2018 21:04

Strict catholic family but fine with abortion? Not that strict then, I'm sure its not beyond you to understand actually strict catholics aren't generally so open minded?

As I said. They were strict. They held their beliefs. They conducted their own lives by those beliefs. They didn't expect others to live by them. They didn't throw me out of the family, because I don't agree with their beliefs anymore. They didnt ship my auntie off for getting pregnant at 17 without being married, in the late 60s. They supported her. Nor did they force her to get married.

Having your own beliefs doesn't always mean you expect other people to live by them. Nana always believed god cared more about her being a good person.

I get that my grandparents were unusual. But it's what I am used to.

OP posts: