Friend hid child from the father & now wants money

[cocacolaaaclassic]

Someone who isn’t my closest friend but we socialise in a larger group has a 5 year old child that we all assumed the father didn’t want to be involved and therefore wasn’t.

But very recently she’s admitted to the group that she’s struggling financially and has started the process of collecting CM from the father... who didn’t know the child existed.

For clarification I would not give my opinion to her as it’s not my place but on here I think it’s beneficial to discuss as women what’s acceptable in these situations. AIBU to think this isn’t okay? She robbed that man 5 years of knowing his child and now only wants to come collecting money because she is struggling. Yes of course a parent should pay for their child but it’s not ok to only find out you have a child because the other parent wants your money.

I have a ten year old and the father doesn't yet know she exists. I've been contemplating since her birth what the "right" thing to do is. My situation is slightly different but I don't regret that decision to go it alone. It is not all black and white, there are many shades of grey. It isn't easy, it is bloody hard and around 5 is when they start noticing they dont have a dad. It broke my heart to hear my child long for a dad that I feel I robbed her of, despite the fact I made the best decision I could at that time with what little info I had. It is not an easy road and you get judged a lot. I can't help but think most in this situation act with a need to protect themselves and do what they feel is best for their families, it is hard and it is only in hindsight do you discover the consequences of the decisions you made ….

50% custody is unrealistically, need to build up a relationship slowly with a 5 year old to gain their trust. That won't happen over night.