AIBU to slightly mother my colleague?

[TheShapeOfEwe]

I have a colleague who is constantly complaining of mild but persistent headaches. She's had her eyes tested, had the overhead strip lighting turned off and us all issued with desk lamps, had the office air con lowered to a couple of degrees colder. Nothing has worked.

I've suggested that she see her GP to rule out anything sinister and she keeps saying she will. But I swear part of the issue is that she NEVER drinks any bloody water. She will have 2 or 3 teas or coffees before lunch, a Diet Coke or two in the early afternoon, and then often an energy drink late afternoon. I've never even once seen her drink anything that wasn't caffeinated.

So I've started a hydration campaign in my office. I've started filling a massive jug with water in the morning and bringing it over to our pod. I've made comments about drinking plenty in the hot weather. I've asked her a couple of times a day if she wants a top up.

Not one drop has passed her lips. She's still headachey all the time. She hates the taste of water, apparently.

Do I just need to get over myself and leave her be? Do I bring in orange squash to tempt her? She's a lovely woman and I feel terribly sorry for her but every suggestion that she should be drinking more is like water off a duck's back! (Sorry )

Am I being an overbearing pain, or should I keep trying to help?

I think you're being a bit overbearing, to diagnose this women as dehydrated! You really have no idea why she's got headaches.

Plus, i though it was a myth that drinking tea/coffee/cola made you dehydrated?

I don't know if they're actively dehydrating but they don't count towards your recommended 2l per day.

My big dripfeed is that the office is now dark and freezing so while I'm happy to accept anything that helps I would like it if a better solution could be found for her

Maybe she doesn't like water on its own. I know quite a few people who don't

If the lower temp and lighting haven't helped her could you ask that they be changed back to what they were before?

I'd tell her that it's well-known that dehydration can cause headaches and therefore she should try to rule that in or out as a cause. And then I'd switch the overhead lights back on & turn the air con off as obviously those measures have done bugger all to help. Why should you all be inconvenienced if she's not prepared to try all the logical cures (including the doctor).

I think you're obviously a very kind person to care so much, but I'd back off now. She's an adult and can presumably make her own decisions.

but tea and coffee is water, if she doesnt like water, leave her to it op - suggest she brings in squash.

Do you work on pcs? I have a litre bottle that I have to drink or I get a headache. In this hot weather I need to drink 2.

If you want to get your colleague to drink more you need to say it to her directly. X you need to drink 2L a day (I know thats not strictly true). I think its dehydration thats causing your headaches.

Any liquid contributes to your needs. It doesn't have to be pure water.
Caffeine has a mild diuretic effect but you still gain more liquid than you use iyswim.
I don't like water either and don't drink it. I drink tea and coffee and I make fruit infusions in a big jug and let them go cold as a cold drink (no caffeine in these).
It could be anything causing her headaches, caffeine withdrawal gives you a headache. It could be hormones, it could be migraines, it could be any number of things. It could also be that she is just prone to headaches.
I have migraines but before that I got headaches often for no apparent reason.

It all sounds very distracting!

God, if it were me, it would be the wannabe doctor nagging me all the time giving me the headache.

The type of fluid I consume has no bearing whatsoever on my ability to get rid of a headache.

I have the lighting adjusted in my shared office (why anyone would miss skanky strip lighting is beyond me). One colleague was lovely about it and helped find a light shade. Another woman is a tedious nag about wanting the light more to her preference (when neither kind of lighting affects her health ).

Better lighting and cooler temperatures improve the quality of headaches, they don't get rid of them in my experience.

If she needs anything, it's more likely to be quality sleep. And less nagging.

she does drink op, leave her to her own devices

GP here - totally agree the dehydration could be a factor, it would be advice i would give! (after proper history and examination of course)

To PP stating coffee/tea/coke are 'water' - thats completely wrong. caffeine is a diuretic and so these drinks actually encourage you to pee more and dehydrate you! My husband is like this, doesn't drink water and constantly has to be reminded or he gets headaches - IT DRIVES ME MAD.

i would be saying the same things as you but maybe not as nicely!

I have to drink at least 2l of water a day or I get bad headaches. I have a water bottle on my desk to remind me to drink. It took me a while to work out it was lack of water which was bringing on the headaches, but when I realised it was a game changer!

but that is your job vinobell

not the ops job, imo

Both of you op and vino, get back to work!

I don't know if they're actively dehydrating but they don't count towards your recommended 2l per day.

A gastroenterologist told me this was wrong; all liquid counts (just espresso coffee isn't the best). My mum is the same as your collaegue; only ever drinks instant coffee. I queried this when she was in hospital and apparently it's all fine as long as you get enough liquid.

Leave the woman alone she’s not a child. It’s also nonsense that caffeinated drinks don’t count towards your 2l a day. Fluid is fluid it doesn’t matter if it’s coffee or water in terms of hydration. All the caffeine might well be giving her a headache but she’s not dehydrated.

It's unlikely to be dehydration even though tea etc had a slight diuretic effect, it's more likely to be caffeine related. DH used to drink a fair amount of cola and at least 8 cups of tea and coffee a day, used to get headaches, drinks more squash now and often has decaff and no more regular headaches. I am headachey but it's often tension related, so could also be stress or posture at her desk. However it's not really your concern

I don't know if they're actively dehydrating but they don't count towards your recommended 2l per day.

This is nonsense. No-one needs 2l per day unless they're sweating a lot. Most people need 1.5l total including water in food so more like ~1.2l and its fine to include caffeinated drinks in that.

I think I read that over use of painkillers for headaches can actually cause headaches.

www.bbc.com/future/story/20140402-are-coffee-and-tea-dehydrating

Posted too quick above. If it was a brain tumour, that shows up in Opticians tests. (How my Dad's was discovered) . Migraines can be triggered by caffeine & make you sensitive to light too. If she won't see a Dr, thats her choice: I'd pass her some extra strength paracetamol (works for mine) & back off.

I promise I'm not nagging just attempting to facilitate. I've only mentioned a couple of times in a few months that she might want to drink more - otherwise I'm just offering her water when I get mine etc.

Re 2l per day, I just read an article on this and while that is more than the NHS recommendation it's what urologists now recommend. Apparently we're a 'hydrophobic' nation and have higher instances of kidney stones than other comparable countries.

i get a headache if i dont get my usual caffeine.
send her to occ health if she wants op

Do I just need to get over myself and leave her be?

^ Yes, you do, sorry. I appreciate it's coming from a good place but she's a grown woman and free to drink how much or how little she pleases you also have no idea if that's really the cause of her headaches. It may be, but it also quite likely may not.