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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked MIL

386 replies

Wrongintherightway · 29/07/2018 23:51

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

OP posts:
Feb2018mumma · 30/07/2018 14:15

Who are these people who have a shower and wander round rooms naked?!? Your carpets must be mouldy surely? I dry myself in bathroom as is tiled... I don't get why you wouldn't have a towel in bathroom... If I went to bathroom and there wasn't a towel I would get one before I showered? In all honesty I did shower with my grandma when I was 12! We used to sing and dance! Last time saw her naked was a few months ago when I was chatting as she got dressed... But I'm a girl... There is something about teenage boys, always embarrassed and she really should not have got naked around them if they were uncomfortable!

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 14:32

Who are these people who have a shower and wander round rooms naked

Apparantly a few of them are on here. Twelve year old lads seeing granny in the buff is fairly normal to them.

Just what every lad dreams of really isn't it. 🤣

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 14:33

“Apparantly a few of them are on here. Twelve year old lads seeing granny in the buff is fairly normal to them”

Very few people, if anyone has said that.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 30/07/2018 14:34

Two things strike me about reading this thread.

One is the absolute disgust at an old persons body.
Two is that being naked is something sexual

I find both a bit of a worry.
Maybe be the 12 year old was uncomfortable. He'll never have seen an old naked lady before. Pretty sure he wouldn't be thinking sexually of her and who knows as a future doctor or carer he would see others

I grew up in 80's when topless sunbathing was perfectly acceptable but boob jobs were rare and unecessary. Baffles me we appear to have gone backwards.

PortiaCastis · 30/07/2018 14:38

Poor kids probably don't want to see granny's arse and hmm well the rest of her bouncing round and flashing her minge.

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 14:48

One is the absolute disgust at an old persons body. Two is that being naked is something sexual

Well you must be reading a different thread to me, because this isn't about her age, more the fact she's his grandmother. And two, no it's not about being sexual it's about not wishing to see your grannies breasts, minge or bare arse. I'd guarantee it's as far from sexual as it gets.

And it would be the same if it was his auntie or whatever . No twelve year old lad wants to see it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2018 14:49

Jeez. MIL might not even be very old. She might only be late 40s/early 50s for all we know. I'm 52, I could have a 12 year old grandson and I don't think I'd like to be described as elderly.

Seasawride · 30/07/2018 14:51

Lol don’t you know In mumsnet land all parents are first time mums at 42 and grandparents are elderly fire side knitters Grin

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 14:54

"Poor kids probably don't want to see granny's arse and hmm well the rest of her bouncing round and flashing her minge."
Because that is so definitely what happened. Hmm

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 14:55

agree, there is nothing to say this woman is old either. I'm 49. I could technically have a 12 year old grandson and she might have a great body.

So many fucking stereotypes. She must be old, or her body not in the best shape. She could be a 52 year old gym bunny, fitter than most women half her age for all we know.

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 14:58

Because that is so definitely what happened

To be fair Bertrand, if he saw her naked walking around the odds are he did either see her bare arse or her minge and boobs, possibly even all three.

As said, doesn't matter how young or old she is, or what her body is like, no 12 year old lad wants to see their grannies minge, boobs or bare arse.

Seasawride · 30/07/2018 15:00

Oh yes and as a gran myself I don’t have an old persons body thanks I am early 50s and bloody fantastic shape but to get naked with a 12 year old lad is simply wierd beyond anything.

I grew up in the 70s. This is yeuk. No young lad or girl wants or needs to see any adult of any age naked.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 15:05

No, of course no 12 year old wants to see his grandmother naked. But there is a huge difference between getting a glimpse as she went from bathroom to bedroom and her parading round the living room- as the rather distasteful "flashing her minge" posters seem to be implying. It's no big deal. Honestly

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 15:07

And very easy to stop it happening again. It is highly likely that the grandmother concerned doesn't want to be seen naked by a 12 year old either!

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 15:07

Bertrand, I think rhe point is it was a big deal to the child, and that's hugely understandable. It would be a big deal to nearly all boys this age. They don't want to see it.

It's about rhe child. Not the adult.

AlphabetSoupcon · 30/07/2018 15:07

It was enough for the 12 year old to mention it to his mum. It was a deal to him.

What’s the rule then? It’s ok to be naked in front of your grandchildren as long as it’s only a glimpse ? Confused

CSIblonde · 30/07/2018 15:09

Regardless of any family ethos on nudity, if your DS is uncomfortable, I'd mention it. I'd have been embarrassed at that age, (but I was OK watching Granny get into her corset when I was 4!).Teens are so self conscious & find things we don't, embarrassing. Her body's appearance/age is of no relevance, but why no towel in the bathroom tho? You replace as soon as dirty one goes in laundry basket/ wash.

Moussemoose · 30/07/2018 15:13

It's another "naked ahhhhhhhh run for the hills" thread. "Middle age breasts traumatise children" - "Paedo granny in cheap breast thrill".

It's a naked body not porn on the telly.

Yes, I really, really think nipping to get a towel (or whatever) while naked is not the end of the world. I really, really believe it is just a human body. I'm not being cool I just don't think it's a big deal.

I do think making a fuss about human nakedness may pass on body issues to others.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2018 15:15

"What’s the rule then? It’s ok to be naked in front of your grandchildren as long as it’s only a glimpse ? "
I don't have grandchildren.
And no, I don't thing grandparents should be deliberately naked in front of their grandchildren unless they are a naturist family or something. But there is nothing to suggest this was deliberate, or that the grandmother concerned knew it was happening. And it's easy to make sure it doesn't happen again. So that's why it's no big deal.

Xenia · 30/07/2018 15:22

As I've said I would not unless I were sure the person would not object but yes people do walk around this house with not much or nothing on and I remember my daughters and I inviting the boys on to the nudist beach at a hotel for example - their choice if they came. We are all different (although sadly those who never see naked people think everyone looks like love island). My teenager has been scanning my old photos this holiday for me. One or two are of his naked grandfather swimming in various rivers. I did ask him before he started the scanning exercise if he wanted me to censor any of them but he was quite happy to proceed. Most of us do just check people are happy with whatever is being proposed in principle.

I would be more unhappy if people were suggesting to their children that babies are shameful to be hidden away or disgusting. Also plenty of grannies sunbathe topless and some totally naked on family holidays surely? On the practical point about towels etc if I have 10 things to remember to do and there are no strangers in the house I might well be charging around up and downstairs (once dry) but before any clothes are on doing those chores. If there are guests in the h ouse (every other day at the moment) it is a bit of a hassle but I do it - to make sure I am covered up.

Crazyladee · 30/07/2018 15:22

YANBU

And yes it's an image that will likely stay with them for life. My mid forties DH still remembers very clearly his stepmum parading around the apartment naked when he was 14 on holiday abroad..and to this day still shudders at the memory.

Was it a one off?

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 15:24

The op has clearly stated the woman would have known the boys could see her, and that she went back and forward naked, not a quick nip to wrap herself in a towel.

We don't get to say this isn't a big deal for this child. It's about respecting rhe child's feelings and the overwhelming majority of children wouldn't wish to see their grandmothers naked, he was uncomfortable with it, which most boys his age would be and that is all that matters,

As such, granny needs to be told and to put it away in future.

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 15:26

If there are guests in the h ouse (every other day at the moment) it is a bit of a hassle but I do it - to make sure I am covered up

Exactly. People manage it when they have guests in the house. This woman could manage it with her two grandsons there who she knew could clearly see her. She didn't. It's not ok.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/07/2018 15:29

It was embarrassing for the elder dc in particular but that's where it ends. No lasting damage, no abuse (!) and certainly not the drama made out by some of you.

Bloody hell the world has gone mad.

Moussemoose · 30/07/2018 15:34

It's a bit embarrassing. It is not the end of the world.

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