Naked MIL

[Wrongintherightway]

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

I'd love to know whether the allegations of paedophilia would have happened if it had been the OP's mother we were talking about.

I've seen you be outraged at pedophile mentioned on a few threads Bertrand. Who knows why this woman felt comfortable to walk naked around her grandsons.. But I think going to the other extreme and pretending it's not riff is as awful as calling everyone a pedo.

Fair enough bertrand, so long as it never happens again. Although if it were my mother, it would still be wrong.

Agreed aiden

It made me cringe just reading it.

MIL asked my DChild (5) if they wanted a bath with her. DChild went wide eyed and said "no thanks!" Even my 5 year old is uncomfortable, and they see me naked all the time. I reckon grandparents just forget how embarrassed children get with others being naked or them being naked around adults who are not immediate family.

I agree that a firm boundary needs establishing.

The responses here have been really illuminating to me. I genuinely thought most people were as relaxed with nudity as me and my family. The paedophile comments really are ridiculous, though.

Bluelady I said the same thing way back.

If you are taught that the human body is dirty or offensive or overtly sexual, than you will expect it to be covered up at all times.

If you grow up around bodies in their natural healthy uncovered state, like you and me, you will wonder what all the fuss is about when someone is alarmed by a bare body.

I suppose that makes us 'perverts' on MN :(

It's the total horror and almost visceral revulsion I find interesting.

It's not a big deal in our family. My sons would probably have sniggered or rolled their eyes. Honestly, it's not an issue.

But some of the reactions on here are so passionately opposed to the naked body so totally shocked and horrified that I wonder if I am from a different species.

It's just a body.

DH said would sometimes see her naked when he was little but not exhibitionist type

So this is obviously what she still does, in her OWN home. Poor woman was doing a good deed for her family by helping them out with childcare and as been labelled some ridiculous things on this thread.

Mind boggling what goes on in some your heads.

Haha poor womsn. Honestly duck you make her sound an utter victim. She isnt stupid so should show common sense.
And no we arent adam and eve.
Blue, glad and mouse-
Wouls you wander naked from your bathroom to bedroom if your kids friends were in the house?
You cannot teach a child that bodies are private, when they are not kep private. And by that i mean modest, not shock horror she has boobs.
My son would never walk around naked, his body has changed he would rather die than be naked or see any of the rest of us nqked. I would get changed infront of them when thet were babies but making a pubescent child uncomfortable is WRONG.

I'd agree that it's outrageous to say she's some sort of paedophile based on this

But I also don't agree that the child's feelings are irrelevant, and that she should be able to wander around in the buff in front of them.

I really don't get the whole if you think she shouldn't be naked then you think the human body is something dirty or to be ashamed of, nudity is totally fine in the right context, around people who are comfortable with your nudity.

Children need to be taught what is the right context, not just naked when you fancy in front of whom you please. There is appropriateness , Contexg and others to be considered.

I really don't understand why some posters keep saying it's not an issue. How hard it is to understand that it was an issue to these boys, that's why the op is posting, and like most boys this age they do not wish to see their grandmother naked. There is nothing wrong with that. It's normal not to wish to see your granny naked when you're a 12 year old lad..

if It's not an issue in your home, then crack on. Get naked in front of your 12 year old grandson. But do accept the overwhelming majority of people feel it's inappropriate nudity and that the child's feelings should be paramount, not yours or your sniggering kids.

And it may be her OWN home but imo she could wander round naked all she wanted because my uncomfortable child wouldnt be going there ever if she did it again.
I wonder if a grandad walking round near his 7yo granddaughter with penis exposed would be ok. After all they are just bodies.
Of course it wouldnt and if a mum posted that on AIBU EVERYBODY would say it was weird.

Do you honestly think this woman wanted to upset her GS, Bluntness100? Or could it just be that walking around naked after her shower from room to room is something she's always done and did it this time without even registering that her 12 year old GS might catch sight of her and be mortified?

Why is it so hard for you to accept great duck the op stating rhe woman knew rhey could see her? You keep going back to she didn't know or realise. What is rhe point of this?

The op says she knew. End of.

I don't think anyone said his feelings were irrelevant but if he'd been brought up by any of us who don't think it's a big deal he wouldn't feel like that. My son certainly isn't embarrassed by anyone's nudity including his own. And before you all pile in, no we don't flaunt or prance but if someone caught a glimpse of one of us in the buff it would go without comment.

I think its because duck cant grasp that a grandparent doesnt care about if her grandchildren are uncomfortable or not, or simply cannot grasp that being naked in front of them knowing they could see, might not be appropriate.
Most people are hypervigilant when others are in their home.
Would you be saying the same thing duck if it were her neighbour, the grandsons friends or a brother in law? I can guarantee if an adult has been there she would have covered up. It isnt about having sexual inappropriateness, but her sheer dismissal that kids might not like to see her like that.

So blue are you naked when non family members visit?

I expect so, it's quite hard to bath or shower otherwise.

Those up in arms apart from the 12 year old being embarrassed by seeing his grandma naked what else is it you're so concerned about?

He was embarrassed. End of. I'm sure it won't scar him for life or have long lasting impact, it was just a bit awkward for him and that's it.

Funny. Do you walk to the bedroom with no clothes on?

Yes.

Sometimes these things are a big ageist too. One of my sons complained my T shirt had hidden up or skirt down in the kitchen earlier this summer. he wasn't happy. I said I might as well live in Saudi with the sons having power to control how the mother looks. Then I remembered his friend was here the week before in a very pretty crop top and exactly the same bit of her body was showing - no one had any problem with that so it must be an ageism issue. The nguess what... he came downstairs the next day before work without his shirt on at all so even more of his "repulsive" body (or in my terms perfectly acceptable naked flesh) could be seen - but that's fine it's he not I! It certainly led to some interesting discussions. perhaps they want me to buy a burkha to wear in my own home.

I can understand people having different opinions on this, it's the utter revulsion that I find somewhat surprising and disturbing.

Very very few people have expressed revulsion. What's been expressed predominantly is it's inappropriate behaviour when done knowingly.

Not inappropriate to her though apparently. She hasn't done anything wrong in her eyes it would seem. So after she's been told by the OP I'm guessing she won't do it again!