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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked MIL

386 replies

Wrongintherightway · 29/07/2018 23:51

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

OP posts:
NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 31/07/2018 09:24

Not weird if it's something you're culturally or personally used to.

But if that's not the children's normal then YANBU.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/07/2018 09:27

Now it's flaunting? Abuse? It's none of those things ffs. It's a woman in her own home taking a shower and presumably going from one room to the next undressed where her grandchild caught a glimpse of her.

And so what? It's a naked body, we all have one, yes the boy was probably a bit taken aback and embarrassed and the GM will be told this. She will probably more embarrassed that he saw her!

Bluelady · 31/07/2018 09:34

Do you really want to teach your children "the inappropriateness of naked bodies"? A naked body is just that, a natural normal thing. Artists have been painting and sculpting them for centuries, are we now returning to the Victorian era where statues were given fig leaves?

niketrainersarecomfy · 31/07/2018 09:45

Yes. Because other than in a physical relationship they are private and dont need to be seen. Artists paint all sorts of things, that isnt particularly valid. However i think things like topless sunbathing and low cut tops and sirts off for men are disgusting, so perhaps i ser bodies more respectably than others. There is no need to force others to see your naked body. Its utterly disgusting.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/07/2018 09:48

Its utterly disgusting

You've got issues.

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 09:48

How will she be embarrassed they saw her, when the op clearly stated she knew.

If she had posted this was a quick dash or whatever then the responses would have been different, she didn't, she posted she knew the boys could see here and went back and forth between the rooms.

Bluelady · 31/07/2018 09:51

Yes, nike, I'm afraid I think your attitude is very unhealthy.

WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2018 09:51

Great post blunt.

niketrainersarecomfy · 31/07/2018 09:52

Exactly blunt

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/07/2018 09:58

She might be embarrassed being told that she'd upset the dc seeing her naked.

She was walking from her bedroom to the bathroom, presumably the dc were in the living room or kitchen so it isn't like she came and sat down next to them to watch tv! She probably thought they couldn't see her. Depending on the layout of her house!

MrsAidanTurner · 31/07/2018 10:16

The only argument the flasher fans have come up with is is that it was innocent in that she didn't think she could be seen, she must have forgotten she had three lads there and forgot her towel on a quick dash.

zippey · 31/07/2018 10:23

Are we really going to tell a woman how to dress and behave in her own house?

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 10:28

Great duck why do you keep posting she probably thought they couldn't see her or would be embarrassed, the op has been very clear, she knew she could be seen and went back and forward. Why keep disputing what the op has said?

niketrainersarecomfy · 31/07/2018 10:33

I wonder if all the people claiming its normal would walk naked after a shower when their childrens 12 yo friends were in the house? Or indeed if another adult was visiting. What about a health visitor or other professional?
Or is it only acceptable for a grandson?

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2018 10:38

“Great duck why do you keep posting she probably thought they couldn't see her or would be embarrassed, the op has been very clear, she knew she could be seen and went back and forward. Why keep disputing what the op has said?”

Because the OP is reporting what her son has said, and we are assuming that the grandmother concerned is a normal human being. I would put money on the boys being in the living room watching telly, her assuming that they would be absorbed in that and them looking up and seeing her. But anyway, it’s easy, using forms of words already suggested, make sure it doesn’t happen again.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/07/2018 10:42

Maybe she thought they were engrossed in their iPads or tv? I don't know the lay out of the house but presume GM thought there wasn't a problem nipping from her room to the bathroom.

At the end of the day this is NOT a big deal.

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 10:44

Well Bertrand that's where we differ then and why you're in disagreement to Most of the posters.

We are basing our responses on what the op has said and have no reason to believe the child lied or over exaggerated. If the op says she will have known she could be seen and went back and forward then I'd assume that's what happened.

I'm guessing then that if you also assume that's what happened your responses would be the same as ours, that this wasn't ok?

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 10:46

Again great duck, she didn't just nip from bedroom to bathroom, the op said she went back and forward,

Why are the people arguing this is ok, only doing so based on something totally different to what the op posted.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/07/2018 10:52

Why are the people arguing this is ok

As I've said if she thought they were watching tv or on their iPads she probably thought they wouldn't notice her.

What is your actual concern here Bluntness100?

MrsAidanTurner · 31/07/2018 10:53

Zippey we they whoever shouldn't have too.

MrsAidanTurner · 31/07/2018 10:55

Nike apparently it would be fine in all those scenarios as long as a tv or I pad was involved somewhere...

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2018 11:13

Occam's Razor. Which is more likely?
Grandmother forgets momentarily she is not alone at home, or assumes children are absorbed in the TV. Or. Grandmother is a paedophile exhibitionist.

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 11:43

Well I guess I'm not willing to say what the grandmother thought, that's a bit too speculative for me. Bottom line is the op says she knew she could be seen and went back and forward. The boys say she was walking around naked.

That's what we are discussing and if that's the case, it's not ok and she should be told gently that the boys were embarrassed and uncomfortable, they are that age and could she cover her nudity when she knows they are there and can see her.

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 11:45

How can she forget momentarily they were there if she was walking back and forward and could see them. If that's the case then she's not fit to look after them.

So no, it's not likely she forgot they were there, unless there is mental illness there rhe op hasn't mentioned,

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2018 11:46

As absolutely everybody has said, it is easy to make sure this doesn't happen again. The suggestion that she is a paedophile which many have made is utterly outrageous.