Shop assistants asking if I need help

[blueskypink]

I probably am just being an intolerant bitch but I wish shop assistants would just leave me alone.

If I'm standing in a shop looking around with a puzzled/confused expression THEN, by all means ask me if I need help. IF, however, I'm walking purposefully towards some merchandise, am deep in concentration studying a label or an item, or have literally just walked through the door (avoiding eye contact and keeping as far away from you as possible) could you please just leave me alone?

If I want your help I'll ask for it.

I also don't want someone saying hello as I cross a threshold and saying 'bye - thank you' when I leave 5 seconds later because I've realised very quickly it's not my sort of shop.

I presume assistants are obliged to do this? Or maybe everyone else likes this sort of attention and doesn't snarl the way I do? I'm being unreasonable aren't I? But after a day's shopping I just wanted to scream "leave me the fuck alone!!"

Thing is not all shops do it. I don't think ive ever been approached at the supermarket, or in Next or M&S, or Primark. Primark have asked me to do the survey though, I'll think twice about that in future though if giving an average response gets the person in trouble.

Retail management like to dictate this nonsense to their staff because they don't trust the minions to have the sense to read body language, or to act appropriately of their own volition without strict instructions from 'the experts'.

Most customers would rather be left alone, but then assistants would be momentarily inactive throughout the day. I imagine that would be distressing to the company bosses who want to get maximum effort for the minimum wage they pay.

@bluetrews25, interesting.

No one ever asks me if I want help when I actually do through, which is annoying e.g. in PC World when I want advice.

If you don't want help it is annoying but I understand it's a requirement (and have done mystery shopping and had to mark people down for not asking) so YABU people are just doing their job.

@YaLoVeras it was at M&S, a couple of years ago. All about seeing the face of the 'customer' and potentially remembering it, making them feel noticed/ less invisible.

I used to work in retail and hated it when I got given the job of standing at the door and greeting customers, you can spot a mile off who wants a conversation or help and who wants left alone. In my store it was more of a security thing to deter shoplifters, I'm guessing it didn't work though as I no longer see anyone doing that job in that store anymore

I used to work in retail. In a small shop I think it's important to greet people but not necessary in larger shops. Also I always tried to ask if people needed help, they often said no and then most (without missing a beat) went on to ask for advice. I can understand it annoys you but there's no need to get quite so irate.

How woild your boss know if you asked what questions they wanted you too ask, were they listening in on the staff secretly all the time or something lol I just wondered

Loath it. So intrusive. I hate being watched or worse, stalked around a shop like prey. I wouldnt mind but when you get to the till and want service gheyre either gossiping or staring into space. Except Waitrose and John Lewis.

More than anything though, I hate it when youve just started to eat in a restaurant and they come and ask if everything is ok. I always have a mouthful of food so have to mime ‘yes’ while munching or simply smile. Then, they ask again at the end of the meal. It’s so formulaic. Puts me off.

We have to - it's part of our mystery shop criteria. That and asking if customers want to receive catalogues and e-mails. I hate doing it but I do quite like being able to eat and pay the bills!

It's difficult to know what to do for the best. Personally I hate and avoid shops where the assistant pounces on you when you go in, where they're obviously on strict sales targets. The problem is even if you're your own boss and can make up the rules, people can be quick to post crap reviews on Google etc. So if you don't ask them if they need help, they'll say 'staff are unfriendly and seem disinterested' etc and 1 star you. I normally just say 'hi' or smile and nod in an attempt to look vaguely approachable should they need to ask for help (normally my head is buried in my laptop trying to keep on top of my work). But my shop is small and the counter is opposite the door, so hopefully that doesn't feel too intrusive.

I dont like it because Iv got social anxiety an i get nervous when ppl talk to me I dont see why others hate it if their not nervous around ppl it is so quick

Unobtainable - I recently treated myself to a night in a posh hotel. My meal in the restaurant was ruined by the over-attentive waiters. Each course was interrupted with a, "how is your xyz" and then a "how was your xyz" at the end of each course. I could feel them watching me, sense them approaching and just wanted to scream 'go away''!!!

One even asked me if I'd like a magazine to read. Because I'm clearly unable to enjoy my own company and thoughts.

There has been research that supports the idea that by engaging with customers it helps minimise the chance of people nicking stuff; so it isn't all about generating sales. I am not a fan though to be honest either!

How woild your boss know if you asked what questions they wanted you too ask, were they listening in on the staff secretly all the time or something lol I just wondered

Yep. My manager is constantly around and listens to everything you say. If you say something wrong or inappropriate you get pulled up on it. If you fail a mystery shop you get a written warning for your behaviour/poor performance and if it happens again you're most likely going to lose your job.

I wish customers could be vaguely understanding about it. I hate being questioned in shops but I'm not rude or aggressive, nor do I shove my hand in people's faces, swear or storm out, muttering "for fucks sake" under my breath.

It costs you nothing to say "no thank you, just browsing" or "hello/goodbye" when you leave. Personally I don't understand why some members of the public are so goddamn rude!

I think that’s a good point barley. If you know you’ve been seen coming into the shop as someone has acknowledged you, you might feel watched / less invisible so you might think twice before sticking a leg of lamb in your rucksack, or whatever.

I hate this too, I now avoid some shops (lush is one of the worst), I know they are told to do it to help reach targets but I find it off putting. I also hate people checking if the foods ok half way through a meal (usually when I have my mouth full and can’t answer).

Stefoscope - I think that approach is exactly right. I personally find it difficult to go into a small shop because, even once I've run the Spanish Inquisition gauntlet, I then feel like I'm being scrutinised and just can't think.

I walked out of Vision Express the other day because, having told the assistant I just wanted to look at their sunglasses frames, and having said pointedly a few times that I was okay, just wanted to look and would let her know if I needed any help, she still stood over me. So I'm afraid I did glare at her, sigh heavily and walk out. But hey, if it stops shop lifters, who cares how many potential customers are pissed off?!

Thing is not all shops do it. I don't think ive ever been approached at the supermarket, or in Next or M&S, or Primark.

Exactly-why is it only some shops!?

I walked out of Lush last week as so many shop people asked me if I a) was ok, b) needed help and then c), what smells did I like! I just wanted to browse-why did I have to tell the same person three times-it’s actually pretty rude?!

Debenhams perfume counters are a nightmare as well. I was mooching around looking for a present recently and 4 different women asked if I was ok and wanted help. 4! They were all standing together, so surely they’d heard me say no already?! Again, I just walked off and ordered it from Amazon. Totally counter-productive!

It costs you nothing to say "no thank you, just browsing" or "hello/goodbye" when you leave. Personally I don't understand why some members of the public are so goddamn rude!

Because it's asked of people when they clearly don't need help and because it's insincere.

Ha ha. When they ask me "are you okay" I just reply "yes...are you okay?

Oh god no puts me right off and I hated doing it in retail.
Head office doesn't listen to staff. I always used to point out our head office/email address on the bottom of the receipt and tell customers that's the best way to complain.

I got asked in next but never primark lol cant imagine it happening in primark haha

I think waiters actually must receive training to ask you how your food is the very second you put a mouthful in

cant imagine it happening in primark haha

Although it's often easier to find help in Primark if you need it than posher shops. They seem to have more staff on the floor tidying the carnage