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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

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MissContrary · 29/07/2018 12:09

She sounds hilarious. Time to buy some giant gnomes from asda to match the pink flamingoe suggested. B&Ms do lovely solar flashijg multicoloured lights to boot. I think I'd actually encourage her to sue just for a laff.

WattdeEll · 29/07/2018 12:09

What do you do,
when your neighbour’s in a stew,
‘bout your English country garden?
Don’t give a fuck, she is talking bull muck,
‘Bout your English country garden
Scarecrows and mooning gnomes,
Chickens, cocks and insect homes,
Oh no, none of that Ass-tro-Turf,
She is batshit, she really looks a tit,
Bout your English Country Garden Wink

springydaff · 29/07/2018 12:10

She's bullying you, throwing her weight around.

I had a similar problem with a new neighbour and, sorry to say, the only way is to get tough. Sadly, you have to stand up to bullies, they don't just creep away.

Let her have it. The racist stuff is truly revolting.

MollyHuaCha · 29/07/2018 12:11

Definitely consider the chickens.

And maybe a cockerel.

worlybear · 29/07/2018 12:11

Log with 101 with names and dates.
Explain you're worried that she is considering criminal damage as well as being racist.
Do NOT engage with her AT ALL.
If she pulls a stunt like this again and you've answered the door then close it firmly without speaking and immediately call 101/999.(Depending on her actions.)
In the meantime consult a solicitor and draft a letter re harrassment/racism.
Include any incident and dates.
If it happens again tell solicitor to send the letter recorded delivery and inform neighbour she must cease and desist or you will escalate action and bring an injunction against her.x

StopPOP · 29/07/2018 12:12

Yes to a wicker Man scarecrow 😂

thebookeatinggirl · 29/07/2018 12:12

You sound incredibly calm, empathic and reasonable. But don't let her bully you with unreasonable demands and ridiculous statements.

7am on a Sunday to make a preposterous complaint?! I'm calm and reasonable but that would be too much for me. I think you need to carry on being lovely, but absolutely firm and honest as well.
"Sorry if my garden distresses you, but it's not going to change, and there's nothing you can do about it. Would you like some organic tomatoes?"

Spudlet · 29/07/2018 12:15

The picture of your garden looks very much like my FiLs garden, and he is as English as an English thing and is a gardener to boot - as in, people pay him money to garden!

It is also what I want our garden to look like when it stops being a sun-bleached desert. And when we finally get round to removing all the rubble, and the bottom half of a flagpole which was left behind by the delightful former owners.

Your neighbour is WRONG. [gavel]

ElementalHalfLife · 29/07/2018 12:15

OP, admit it, you came here to brag about your garden didn't you? This woman is batshit - your garden is beautifu! Yours is what a garden should look like, my grandad 's was just like it and he won his local garden show twice in a row! We also got loads of our veggies and fruit from him.

I agree with previous posters, you need to practise your English vocabulary - repeat after me:

'fuck off and leave me alone you racist bitch or I will call the police.'

9amTrain · 29/07/2018 12:16

Tell her you don't like the look of her, so you're even.

ItsNachoCheese · 29/07/2018 12:18

She sounds batshit lol

LexieLulu · 29/07/2018 12:19

She sounds like a fruit loop and your garden is lovely.

Make a note of everything she does, just in case it goes too far an you need to give evidence

littlebillie · 29/07/2018 12:20

I would ask her to put her compliants in writing and respond with a solicitors letter. She is a bully and ignore her, she sounds very superficial and demented.

MrsMozart · 29/07/2018 12:21

She is barking. Garden and you are fine.

chocolateaddicted · 29/07/2018 12:23

@AlonsoTigerHeart that's amazing! I want one of those for some select neighbours round here!

Loyaultemelie · 29/07/2018 12:24

Your garden is lovely! Do your DCs attend a nursery or is the youngest in school yet? I'm sensing a whole class autumn scarecrow competition may be in order? Wink
Seriously though NDN is completely bonkers if you hadn't heard her mention anything before I'd think she was still pissed from the party

Deshasafraisy · 29/07/2018 12:24

Your garden sounds lovely. Hers sounds horrible. Tell her to fuck off or you will sue her for harassment

m0therofdragons · 29/07/2018 12:24

My old neighbour complained I had weeds in my front garden (2 dandelions that I was waiting to turn into clocks for dd1 to blow). Her garden was all paving and stones. I laughed and said I live it like this - great for insects etc.

abitoflight · 29/07/2018 12:25

Can I move in next door pls?
FFS she's an idiot! If she'd played her cards right she could have had a supply of fresh herbs and helped you use up your gluts etc

Plannergirl9 · 29/07/2018 12:27

@craxmum oh yes YABU for using your garden to.... eh garden. Wink

Given the bee population is ever decreasing the more gardens like yours we have the better.

Autumnchill · 29/07/2018 12:29

I hope you've nicknamed her Margo!

EllebellyBeeblebrox · 29/07/2018 12:29

Haven't read the whole thread, but your garden sounds fabulous, and she sounds like a stuck up twat. Don't let it bother you a moment more

sleepylittlebunnies · 29/07/2018 12:31

Well presumably she benefitted from the reduced market rate when she bought her house so she should be thanking you. Your garden is lovely it’s just not to her taste which is fine as it’s not hers.

Maybe stick a pigeon loft in it like my dad has, his NDN aren’t keen but haven’t complained. The neighbour opposite however has complained about a trailer he has parked on his driveway, it is apparently not in keeping with the neighbourhood and will reduce the value of their house when they come to sell. It was there long before the neighbours bought their house.

When you have neighbours you have to accept that their tastes will not necessarily match your own. Live and let live. Your neighbour is deluded to think that her opinion of your garden will have any legal standing.

Rebecca36 · 29/07/2018 12:31

Your neighbour sounds utterly vile, what on earth is she doing knocking at your door at 7am? Your garden sounds fine, ignore her.

craxmum · 29/07/2018 12:31

Seriously though NDN is completely bonkers if you hadn't heard her mention anything before I'd think she was still pissed from the party
That was what I think now. She was clearly distressed and a bit dishevelled, I think maybe she indeed has some sort of an issue with me, and the garden topic was just the last breath of drunken courage.
She did mention it a couple of times before, but not in a hostile way, more of 'it's not really my thing'. She actually tried to be very friendly at first, to the extent that made me a bit uncomfortable. Like knocking on the door every day after I come from work to have a general chat (or rather complain non-stop about her ex, tbh he does sound like a rare breed jerk) - that's how I know a lot about her personal situation.

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