Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

[craxmum]

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

Is her health condition chronic stupidity?

I’d report her for racial harassment.

You'r not your

“Not doing it like this in Britain?”
What does she think the quint essential british cottage garden was about? Edibles mixed in with a few flowers. Knob.
I feel like her gardening history is a bit off.

& if you throw weed killer over the fence I will inform the council regarding pollution and sue her for fly tipping.

She’s talking nonsense. Unless you have a garden which is toxic or encroaching on her property, there is nothing she can do. Agree with those who advise being polite but very firm with her. Personally I find decking much more of a bunch in the eye, than an allotment style plot.

Your garden sounds like a wild life haven and gorgeous.

I can assure you that growing tomatoes is a very English pastime. Silly witch.

Aww @craxmum I really want to see a photo of your garden!

Not your neighbours though, it sounds dull as ditchwater.

Indeed tell her she is silly, and keep telling her she is silly every time she brings something up, because there will be a next time with a crazy person like this.

Sorry, meant - I thought I'd check with the wider population if there is anything definitely wrong.

Aye, there's something definitely wrong with her. First, your garden is none of her business. Second, chapping your door at 7 am over something other than your house being on fire. If any neighbour chapped my door at that time for a moan their next stop would have been A&E because the force of my verbal response would have burst their eardrums. Stand up for yourself. If you give her an inch she will take a mile and then some.

Might it be useful to have a phrase in mind in case she brings it up again:

'You do realise that if I have to report your harrassment to the police, it will become a neighbour dispute - and that will certainly affect the price of your house?'

You need ZOMBIE GNOMES.

Next time she complains about it, just tell her not to be silly.

But you really do need zombie gnomes.

I look forward to hearing the outrageous stories as this escalates OP. You're saying she's just stressed but you've already told her you will sort your garden out? She'll be back.

Your garden sounds lovely. Her’s sounds hideous, and she sounds like a crazy lady! Drop a note round asking her to stop harassing you (and stop being a lunatic!)

Sorry, found the photo...it looks lush.

I grow in my garden. You keep doing what you're dong. Keep growing your lovely beautifully fresh fruit and veg that will never, ever taste the same shop bought, not even from fecking Waitrose lol.

Her Heath problems are not your concern. In fact, she'd probably benefit from some truly fresh stuff!

As others have said, get chickens too! Good luck with her OP, don't change anything

tomato growing is not English??!!
My MIL is as traditional English as they get & grows own toms coz she likes the flavour of home grown. She grows own spuds & all sorts, too.

Heck, DH insists on growing toms every summer & he won't even eat them. He just thinks it's the English thing One Must Do.

Your neighbour would hate my nettle patch - but its essential for the butterflies so it stays.
Its next to the bramble patch which the birds like.
And the hedgehogs are currently nesting under the stems of both.

Brits have only been growing tomatoes for the last few hundred years, but they are rather good at it

I had the opposite problem with a foreign new neighbour - she ripped out all the beautiful ivy and foliage on our shared fence and (only when I kicked up a fuss about loss of privacy) replaced with a stark wooden fence. I thought that was more traditional and your’s is too, better for the wildlife. Reminds me of the war years when people grew their own. Allotments are a big deal and very English.

I don’t have any foreign stereotype for this neighbour but I think she had judged us as being not interested and was rude about our kids - we’re comparatively young parents.

Really she thinks Brits don't grow tomatoes?

What does she think all those garden centres are for then? Or the national obsession with cottage gardens? Gardener's World? Gardener's Question Time? Or of course the British classic, the Good Life?

If you really want to go for it in a non-British way you could be like my non-British DM who dug her front garden up in the 70s and grew potatoes in it. Apparently there was a mix of shock, horror and admiration from her neighbours but she just said, we were poor and needed to eat and the front garden was a waste of good potato growing space

Remind her when she sells, neighbourhood disputes have to be declared, and will definitely affect the value of her house.

Write down everything she says in a diary. Maybe record on your phone as evidence. Report to police for racial harassment.

In the meantime maybe buy some really bloody loud windchimes

She is bonkers and hateful. My garden is scruffy with a jumble of shrubs flowers and vegetables growing a bit haphazardly. And I grow tomatoes!

I think her real problem is that she's racist.

How is she able to peer into your garden when she’s entertaining her cronies to tea on the lawn?
Why not build up your fence with a trellis and grow some Virginia creeper on it?
It’ll keep her beak out and it looks beautiful.

Someone in the next street to us astroturfed their front garden and it looks absolutely shit, astroturf always does. I feel sorry for the homeowners next door to them.

Your neighbour is deranged, and your garden sounds lovely.

Totally batshit.
You need a whole flock of staked pink flamingo’s .