To not want my baby away a night a week

[Alibaba87]

Just that really. Baby not sleeping great (though never has) so he wants baby to stay with family for a night each week, every week. So not just a one off or occasional visit. I understand he’s tired, me too! But I don’t think this is the way to solve the problem, what about the other 6 nights!

How old is your baby?

How old is the baby? I wouldn't agree to this, I don't like being away from my babies.

No way would I do that🏫

(Ignore that random emoji...)

8 months old

Who’s he??

I went back to work at 6 months, son is now 10 months. Occasionally he’ll sleep at my mums as she has him 3 days a week for me and although I’m working I do love a little break and getting up at my own time (even though I’m still off to work) but if I didn’t have to I wouldn’t. I send my mum about 50 texts asking how he is and I definitely feel the mum guilt.

I would have agreed to this in a heartbeat if id had family close enough tonme when ds was little. He didnt sleep through until he was 2.5 years ! I was on my knees .
However , it depends who the family was and how much i trusted them .

Ugh my ex was keen for a similar arrangement. Part of a pattern of him not taking well to parenting though. Is he managing otherwise? Acting ousted?

No, I wouldn’t agree to that and I can’t imagine anyone would agree to take an 8 month old who wakes in the night, imagine how distressed he’d be when he wanted his mummy or daddy and someone else came in to comfort him instead.

If he’s that desperate why can’t he sleep at relatives one a week?
You’re mum and if you don’t want baby to go elsewhere then that’s the logical solution

I wouldn’t mind every now and then, but I just feel every week is a lot and I’d struggle with that. Back in work full time so do feel I don’t see LO as much as I’d like anyway. Trust family completely it’s more about my need I suppose. Also I just don’t think it solves LO struggling to sleep. It’s nice to have that break, but doesn’t make me feel any less tired the other 6 days!

Yes Schroedinger that’s a good suggestion.

My baby is 5 months and now only usually up twice a night so husband is back in our room but complaining we need a break! Think is a man thing! I don't get this need to get rid of babies once a week either! I'm only one I know who hasn't been apart from baby... But I had baby because I wanted one! Not because I needed me time!

subtlecheese I think he feels far less need to spend a lot of time with LO than I do. I think he’s be fine with it I’d say LO was elaway every weekend-or it sure seems that way.

I would have jumped at that opportunity in a heartbeat when DDs were tiny and we were both working.

DGs used to have them for the occasional weekend and we were so grateful for the odd lie in and time to do something as a couple.

Me too Herat

Him going to sleep elsewhere one night a week is perhaps a good idea but doesn’t help you. What about the family member coming and staying with you? Could you tag team this? Get a bed in the baby’s room and take it in turns to slurp in there leaving the other to sleep through with ear plugs?

Could you take a night each at the weekend to sleep dowstairs/spare room? The other person then does the night wakings. Means a full unbroken nights each per week.

feb2018 I think you’re right it is a man thing. Though we have had breaks, LO stayed with family just last week! And has stayed away previous to that too. I just worry when will it stop! When LO sleeps better (and it’s not bad at the moment, will wake at maybe 11 and then 4 then wake for the day) would the weekly arrangement revert back? I don’t think the family members would appreciate that!

Realised my message is a weird one reading back as before posting lots of new posts came I hadn't read! Work is a must! I have to go back soon and can't be helped, I was on about the mummy weekends away/ abroad and things everyone I know is on! If baby is up loads in night and you are working you need a break but once a week is such a commitment! Maybe ask for a trial once and see how you get on?

slurp . Sleep!

I agree, I just would rather it be more ad hoc, which is what it currently is. It also still doesn’t help with the rest of the week and I think maybe we just need to try out some strategies to see if anything helps.

God, no. No way would I agree to this.

It may theoretically give you a night's sleep a week but it won't solve the sleep problems, quite the opposite. 8 months is prime separation anxiety time and he won't understand the weekly recurrence yet.

Tbh his sleep sounds OK. My youngest was waking multiple times a night until 2 and didn't sleep through (co-sleeping) until two and a half. She was the worst, but the older two were similar.

Whose idea was this, your dh/dp's or family's? In other words, have they offered or has he on their behalf? Could this be about his sexual wants?

@anelderlylady I don’t think it’s so bad either, just some nights are a bit more trying. I think it’s probably both, family suggesting and offering and him wanting to take them up on it. I don’t think this is necessarily to do with sex.