AIBU to ask about your weird injuries?

[Binkybix]

I was trying (and failing) to fly a kite today. I somehow managed to get one of the strings in my mouth as I looked back as I ran inelegantly trying to get the fecker up in the air. My gums are bruised and sore.

I once also threw myself on my sofa in a teenage strop and punctured my buttock with a sticking up wire coat hanger.

Anyone else? Amuse me. I bored.

I once picked up a steak knife in a restaurant and plunged it into the palm of my hand - I have no idea why, it was like an involuntary movement. I then went in the toilet and almost fainted from the pain I still have the scar!

Missed the sofa when sitting own after a few and bruised my coccyx on the arm. Was in pain for weeks

I badly bruised my inner thighs repeatedly jumping into a flamingo floaty. They were black

I broke my ankle holding a skipping rope.

Cat gave me a black eye; I also got one when playing mess rugby with an inflatable dolphin.

Broke my nose while adjusting my rifle sights. Also at school when playing hockey.

Slipped in the shower, got wrapped in the shower curtain, pulled the curtain rail down and landed on the side of the bath. Black from thigh to ankle.

ExDP pulled me down on to the bed, bounced off the wooden bedhead and got knocked out.

Broken fingers when the wind got the car door, also when falling up stairs at work and smashing hand into metal bannister.

Ripped lower lip off as a toddler when fell in the kitchen and got it closed in a cupboard lock.

Both DS and I have dyspraxia so we've had plenty of bizarre injuries in this household!

A guy I recognised but couldn't place stopped me and chatted to me in town recently. I couldn't think where I knew him from until after five minutes he asked after DS's finger (he fell over a passing dog's extendable lead, broke his finger and ripped his nail off). Then I realised he was the local A&E doctor, who we have encountered several times! Not good when they remember your name and know you to chat to

I glassed myself in the face while trying to have a drink of water. Just picked the glass up and rammed it full force into my face, breaking it! Cut all my lip and chin, blood everywhere. Why??

@zukiecat you sound like my son we joke we have our own seat in a&e. So far he has:
Age 3 fell backwards and cut his head open on fireplace
Age 6 knocked down by a car and broke his arm and bruised face (could have been so much worse)
Age 6 fell down stairs
Age 9 fell down a slide and cut his chin open needing stitches
Age 10 tried to do a somersault over rocks in a school trip and needed his head glueing back together

I dropped a samurai sword on my foot. Thankfully a Spanish knock off one that wasn't sharp, but it still hurt.
The following week I dropped a corkscrew and the point landed in the same place. Ouch.
I have had a sewing machine mishap that ended in an A&E trip.
I also cut my thumb wide open breaking apart frozen chicken breasts. Never use a kitchen devil for this job.
My eldest fractured his elbow falling off play equipment. He went down like that statue of Saddam Hussein, only palm out rather than up. I didn't believe he'd broken his arm to start with.

i tore a finger off after getting impaled on a metal security fence, on my way into a derelict mental hospital. got halfway over, slipped and was left dangling there with my feet off the floor, skewered by my hand.

so, i did the only thing i could, and yanked my hand down and away.

there was a sad little ‘plop’ noise as my little finger fell off, holding onto the side of my hand by a little strip of flesh. i had also degloved my index finger, and knackered my camera.

blue lights, microsurgery and a week in hospital on IV antibiotics. i did it on a Sunday morning and was repaired by the time the Antiques Roadshow started. god bless the NHS.

i kept my little finger in the end, and my index finger sustained tendon damage, but it could have been a LOT worse.

(i also regularly drop my kindle on my face when i read in bed)

One of my friends was doing a backflip on a trampoline and hit his front tooth out with his knee.

Sprained my wrist cutting butter at work. Still have to wear my wrist support every so often almost 5 years later.

Broke my baby toe when DDs highchair tipped over whist I was taking her out. Big wooden thing.

Opened a fridge door onto my knee during a busy breakfast shift. Ended up having to sit on the floor for half an hour with an ice pack, whilst I directed a waiter on how to fry eggs.

Opened a fire exit door and one of the panes of glass fell out onto my head.

Gave myself concussion whilst getting things from the stock room. Also a couple of hefty nose bleeds from boxes landing on my face.

I am an accident waiting to happen.

I was in the bathroom for a long time due to a bad food poisoning. Got up too quickly and passed out. Hit the opposite wall with my face on the way down and eventually woke up in a puddle of blood and with pants around my ankles... Still remember having a vivid dream about The Game of Thrones while I was out

Blood was from my nose....

cricketmum

A kindred spirit!

Another one when I was aged seven, I thought it would be a good idea to walk in front of a load of boys throwing stones at things on walls. Cracked my head open again.

Ours was a communal "backie" (Scotland)

There was an ancient pram out there, all the kids used to play in it, I fell out and cut my knee, still have the scar.

There was a Fine Fare supermarket at the bottom of the main road near our house, the houses were built on a hill and we used to nick the trollies to go hurtling down it.

How I never hurt myself during the Fine Fare Trolley Death Races I'll never know! It was only doing supposedly normal things that I had accidents

I've broken my little toe four times as an adult, just catching it on things

Another one as an adult, and I don't know why I did this but was riding my friend's horse, she was grooming another horse and asked me to get her horse from her field, they had an electric fence, but did I grab the rubber bits? Oh No, daft Zukie grabbed the actual fence itself, I can still feel the heavy thud of pain shooting up my arm

Got a sliver of avocado stone embedded in my eye after attempting to remove the stone "Jamie Oliver" style - ie by halving the avocado, whacking a big knife into the pit and attempting to neatly make a quarter turn in order to remove it. 5 hours in A and E that was

Mine is quite common- the classic broken wrist derived from a Segway.

I am the queen of crazy injuries.

They started out fairly innocuous - broke my arm in two places trampolining.

Then when I was 18 I almost amputated my arm with a bathroom sink - slipped on a wet floor, landed on the sink which broke in half and I slid down the bit that stayed on the wall. Cut down to the bone 3/4 of the way round my arm.

A year later I had my eyelid cut open with a fencing sword while learning stage combat.

(Most outing post ever 😂)

Clearly I inherited it from my mum - she was once rushing down the stairs, there’d been some dry cleaning hanging in the hall which must have fallen down. She accidentally jumped from the stair on to a coat hanger and the hook went straight through her foot (not a wire one, a regular one with the ball on the end of the hook)

Not me, my daughter
I’ve got a Dalmatian...most stupid dog ever
One Christmas my daughter bought her younger brother a Dalmatian fur hat with dangly legs, they hung down like plaits
She tried it on to show the dog, was on her hands and knees
The dog ‘head butted’ her in excitement and badly bruised her eye socket
My daughter works in a hospital and was on duty the next day
They sent her to a&e for the doctor there to have a look
She had a badly bruised face and black eye for several weeks

Had a plastic wendy house pole in my mouth put my head down the pole hit the ground and went into the roof of my mouth. ALOT of blood

I broke both wrists in a motorcycle accident in my teens - embarrassingly I collided with a Robin Reliant . I also degloved one leg on a metal spike but the scar looks like a sharkbite so rewriting history on that moment of titness

I just cut my foot on my fucking flip flops. FML.