AIBU to ask about your weird injuries?

[Binkybix]

I was trying (and failing) to fly a kite today. I somehow managed to get one of the strings in my mouth as I looked back as I ran inelegantly trying to get the fecker up in the air. My gums are bruised and sore.

I once also threw myself on my sofa in a teenage strop and punctured my buttock with a sticking up wire coat hanger.

Anyone else? Amuse me. I bored.

Scratched my eye with a ruler. Ouch! That necessitated a trip to OOH. Didn’t want to mess w eyes. They did an eye test to check I wasn’t blinded and I failed as left glasses in car!! I obv explained that and the nurse laughed.

When I lived at home, I sprained my ankle by running topless into the kitchen to get my bra out of the tumble drier before I had to leave for work, not realising my DM had just mopped the floor.

I slipped, went on my bum and skidded across the kitchen towards the drier and then my feet hit it and I came to a sorry stop.

My mum witnessed it all and couldn’t stop laughing as she said my boobs just kept jiggling all over the place!

I have arthritis. During a flare up I was making a hot water bottle. I had the just boiled kettle in one hand and the hot water bottle in the other and my back went into spasm. My hand did a sort of up and down flinch and boiling water went all over my boobs.

I got straight into a cold shower, still dressed.

I had blisters resembling a map of the world across my boobs.

Dislocated my jaw once by yawning. Most painful thing I've ever done. Plus, I felt a right muppet explaining how I did it whilst half my face swelled up like a pumpkin.

My mum's friend was getting out of a car caught her one foot around the seat belt, (late 70s - no retractable) then dropped the Christmas frozen turkey she was holding on her other foot. She broke her foot.

Broke a toe on DH’s foot (partner work in karate, he kicked with the wrong leg).

Did a backwards roll awkwardly (more karate) and prolapsed a disc in my neck.

Using my new electric bike for the first time, came to a tight corner and turned the throttle instead of the handlebars. Crashed full speed into the fence, had the most spectacular bruise over my right hip down to my knee for weeks.

Using a bic razor to shave my arm (it was a dare) got it caught on my elbow skin flap. Boak. Mums face was a bit when I had to explain.

I was trying to get a jar of marmalade out of the cupboard but it had stuck to the shelf. I gave it a good yank, it came free all of a sudden and I hit myself in the face with it. Had a splendid nosebleed and 2 black eyes, and no-one believed how I got them.

I also gave myself a nosebleed and 2 black eyes when I got up for a wee on my first night in a new flat. I walked straight into the wall, where the bathroom door would have been in the house I'd just moved out of.

My dog gave me 2 black eyes and a nosebleed. I bent down to pick him up just as he tried to jump up on my lap and he headbutted me. (This is not my worst dog-related injury. The previous dog knocked me flying chasing the cat, I landed on the corner of the tv and bust 2 ribs).

I also knocked myself out while painting the kitchen ceiling. I stepped back to check if I'd missed any bits, completely forgetting I was standing on the worktop, and fell into the doorframe. I woke with a headache, and my face and neck were covered in white emulsion.

I sat on the blades of pair of large kitchen scissors that had slipped, handle-first, between the sofa cushions. I heard a horrid 'crunch' as they went straight through my upper thigh until they hit the bone. It wasn't painful at all, thankfully, but I felt a bit weird and wobbly for an hour or so afterwards.

I also broke a couple of ribs recently after I dived backwards off a raised walkway (I'd forgotten that there was a drop immediately behind me) to stop my dog getting tangled up with a jogger. He didn't stop to see if I was OK.

When I was in the army, I had what I thought was just bruised/cracked ribs from a sports injury. An important training exercise was coming up that I really couldn’t afford to miss, so I thought I’d be fine if I wore a tight under armour shirt and my body armour would help stabilise my torso - which it did.
Then I tried to raise my arms to take my body armour off one night and the pain was hideous. Eventually got it off, and then let out an almighty sneeze. A proper dramatic, bend at the waist kind of sneeze.
Ribs that were cracked, broke. One of them punctured my kidney. Horrendous pain that made me throw up, a healthy dose of internal bleeding, and about half an hour of my platoon sergeant yelling at me for being a stupid cunt and hiding the initial injury

I knelt on a single piece of Lego, couldn’t bend my knee for a month and 2 years later it will twinges sometimes going up stairs.

I got a bruise across my chest: we'd been to Battersea Park fireworks, I had DD then 4 and DS then 2 months. Leaving, people were pushing forward, I had tight hold of DD's hand and DS in the buggy. As people surged forward, I was pushed into the buggy handle. We've never been to Battersea Park fireworks again.

When I still lived at home we had a plumber round doing some work. He was in the kitchen with my Dad when I got home. I went to use the loo upstairs, pulled the light switch as I was walking in. No one thought to tell me they'd removed a floor board in the bathroom and my leg went straight through down to my thigh. Poor plumber underneath covered in plaster looked up to see my leg through the kitchen ceiling

Didn't realise DH hadn't put loft ladders back up properly. Climbed up to speak to him in the loft, just as I got my head in he turned round to see me promptly disappear as the ladders collapsed. I landed on the baby gate at the top of the stairs and also hurt my hand were I had tried to grab on to stop myself falling. To add insult to injury I then had to right the loft ladders so DH could climb down to help me

This one massively outs me. Started doing Couch to 5k. Tripped and fell. Thought I was okay apart from bumps bruises and a cut elbow and knee. One week later my ankle suddenly started hurting. Had it xrayed but nothing showed up. 6 months of problems later finally stopped hurting when I tried to have Physio done and they wouldn't let me without an MRI. Which revealed a nearly healed spiral fracture. Too late to do anything. I had been to Disneyland walking miles as well. To add insult to injury I work in Radiology

I tore the ligaments in my hip because I got stuck in my sofa!
It was very squashy and a velvet type material. I somehow got stuck between the cushions, turned my body to get up and bottom half didn't move. And then I felt an horrendous pain in my right hip.
The Dr pissed herself laughing when I told her.
BUT I ended up with 6 weeks of painkillers and physio in the end for it. Ten years later i still have residual pain and stiffness in it.
All because I got imprisoned by my sofa!

Currently have broken ribs from falling off an adventure playground..am 47..
Previously broke toes dropping jar of pasata on to them.
My friend when she was late teens injured her leg when a bedspring snapped and impaled her to the mattress. As far as i remember the paramedics had to come into her room and cut the spring off..she was v embarassed at the time.

I’m incredibly clumsy but have luckily very rarely done myself any significant injury.

I did break a finger last year dropping a medicine ball onto it in the gym though. Thy made me feel like an idiot 😂

Entertaining some friends, so quite a bit of wine had been consumed. Went to get our supper out of the oven which was a lovely thing covered in melted and bubbling cheese (the meal, not the oven). I slid it towards me using two tea towels as oven mitts. It slipped and boiling cheese went all over the palms of both hands. We went to a and e where I was given very strong painkillers and two huge rubber gloves on my hands with white stuff inside them. When I undressed, at home later (with great difficulty) I discovered the cheese had also got inside my trainers and burnt the top of both feet. I was so pissed and drugged up I just looked at my blister covered feet in amazement, as I couldn't feel any pain from them. I had 6 weeks of daily dressings and several courses of antibiotics for my feet. My hands healed okay.

The cat gave me a black eye.
Dislocated shoulder flicking a tea towel.
Broke a toe stepping in a paddling pool.
Shut the car door on my own head. Had a week massive headache but couldnt go to the doctor and tell them how it happened

Let's see..

Threw a massive tantrum when I was little, hit my eye off the corner of the sofa and gave myself a black eye.

Tore a ligament in my foot running. Broken a bone in my foot when I accidently hit it off a pillar. Broke a bone in my other foot a few years later by tripping down the stairs.

Sliced my finger open cutting fruit.

Given myself a mini concussion on two seperate occasions. One with a roll cage (didn't realise the big metal roof bit came down) and when I was drunk and fell off someone's back giving me a piggy back.

Sprained my wrist trying to take the washing line down and fell backwards.

Most recent, badly sprained my knee last week (still can't walk properly) dancing.

I fell downstairs when I was about five

I was carrying a pen at the time and it got stuck in my forehead like a bloody Dalek

Nearly ripped my arm off when I put my hand down to stop the roundabout, I was seven

Walked in front of a swing when I was three, burst my lip and knocked my teeth out

Fell down the back of a bandstand when I was about four, still remember being pulled through the bars to get me out

Fell backwards onto a concrete flower bed while giving my friend a "coaly back" She fell into the flowers, I cracked my head open

Fell through the floorboards during a rewire of my parents house, I was thirteen and put my teeth through my lips

I was a very accident prone child!

I stood on a dog chew, kind of rolled on it, crashed into a chest of drawers and broke 2 ribs.

Double open fracture on my index finger while making cauliflower rice. Blender got clogged........ still completely numb and won’t bend from the first knuckle 7 months later. I buy cauliflower rice now.

I just recalled another

Cleaning my brand new kitchen 2 weeks before my due date with DC2. Very largr sharp splinter of rock hard glue/silicon underneath the new Work top goes straight down the side of my thumbnail. I just stood there staring at it whilst it turned a dramatic purple colour with blood all trapped under the nail. It was getting larger and larger.

Went to GP/practice nurse for help. Sent to walk in centre. Walk in centre sent me to A&E as was so pregnant. 5 hours of waiting and fiddling with it they still trying to get this thing out of my thumb without it breaking up.

Ended up just ramming as much local anaesthetic as they could into my thumb/hand and scalpeled it open and pulled it out with tweezers. The anaesthetic was worse than anything else because it had nowhere to go so just all pooled in my thumb and swelled up even larger

Some of these made my feet go all weird 🤢

I work somewhere that I see people’s injuries basically so I no longer am squeamish about it

And some of them are quite funny/strange