AIBU to think that this is awful parenting?

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On a train journey that’s around 2.5hrs, start to finish. Family with three kids behind me who are simultaneously using devices to play lots of music and games out loud - including the Dad, who is actively showing noisy videos to a disinterested child! Mum is ignoring all the kids despite them turning the sound up constantly.

AIBU to think it is crap parenting to let your kids disturb everyone else and it teaches them that their wants always trump everyone else’s??

No we haven't 'all' done this at all. Only inconsiderate people will have done this, headphones were invented for a reason - use them.

Not wanting to hyperbole, awful parenting in my book is things like sexual or physical abuse, parents who favour their addiction above their children etc. I wouldn’t put in using electronic devices loudly on a train with being an awful parent. Most other things are about choice and parenting differently.
Think you're describing criminal activity here, not parenting! I think 'to parent' is a verb describing an action. I cannot see much action involved here so would agree with the 'non-parenting' comments here.
Some children don't like these (communication based) activities? Really? Any child would prefer to only spent time on electronic devices in place of positive parental presence, assuming they've ever been given a chance to experience the difference?
And as for if the parents turned it down the kids would just turn it up again=bloody doormat parents. Who the fudge is in charge in THAT family?

I agree that it's very inconsiderate as is anyone on public transport who plays games, music, etc that other passengers can hear.

Devora, there are loads of families where the kids are in charge. It’s not unusual.

@RainbowBriteRules Awful parenting then. If they are that devoid of ways of keeping their kids under control in public places then maybe they should go by car.

Any decent parent would have cheap headphones for all devices.

Toomuch

You’ve just said exactly what I’m thinking.

If this happened 10 years ago (it did happen to me), people would have been rightly horrified. Just because it's become more common doesn't mean it's ok. So inconsiderate.

You are absolutely not BU. God I really hate people. Roll on my lottery win when I plan to buy a remote cottage on a loch.

I think its rude for anyone to play any device/ film/ music out loud on a train carriage. That is what ear phones are for.

Ugh. All of the bitchy parent/kid moaning posts are getting a bit much.

So you would be quite happy to be those parents and let your children rule the roost while disturbing other people?

YANBU OP, extremely rude and lazy parenting. I cannot stand people who think their little darlings can do no wrong and let them get away with crap like this. Unacceptable and inconsiderate to other people.

Rude and unacceptable behaviour by parents to allow the children to behave like that. Annoying having to listen to one person's noise but 4 would have me raging. If the whole carriage carried on like that imagine the noise level. Just the same with kids screaming in gardens, I always think if all the neighbours allowed children to be unruly the noise would be horrendous. It's a case of "I'm alright, sod off" . Selfish. YANBU.

OP YANBU. I’ve had some pretty bad train . journeys my self over the holidays due to this. Travelling with my own DC age 5 and 8, who had been instructed to have their tablets on mute as we’d forgotten headphones which they moaned a little about but accepted. One as you describe, dc around the same age as mine with sound getting louder and louder on their devices , another with 4 slightly older children sat at the table in front of mine while their parents sat at the opposite side of the carriage ignoring them as they got louder and louder laughing/joking/swearing, one boy with headphones in singing along at the top of his voice totally tunelessly. It was a really unpleasant 4 hour journey. I probably should have said something but I’d had a really bad few days and wasn’t wanting any confrontation. It’s not too much to ask for children to be told by their parents to have some courtesy

Terribly sorry to hear you’ve had an unpleasant journey. I’d be just as peeved.

Having said that, I think you’ve got a bigger problem - making a sweeping statement about their parenting like that betrays a very judgemental heart. You could have changed carriages. Hope you speak of friends and family this way.

@Faith7777 why on earth should the OP move? These fool who think the world revolves round them and their kids need to be brought to task. What a ridiculous statement, jeezo. 😐

What the fuck are you on about? She’s specifically talking about her experience. Q. ‘Was this particular incident - four kids, fir 2 hours, playing noise devices, crap parenting?’ A ‘Yes. Emphatically. It was.’ Why should people have to change carriages, ffs? Why. can’t people just behave? ‘Judgemental heart’, indeed. You’re cracked.

This would drive me crazy. I’d feel very stabby if there were multiple children being encouraged to be noisy and inconsiderate on public transport, especially first bloody class!

I always book the quiet carriage but last time on a train, there was a mother with 2 very well-behaved dc BUT they were both on devices without headphones, so inconsiderate. :(

Changed carriages? For a start she was in first class which she’d paid extra for but aside from that, any train journey I’ve been on lately there hasn’t been a single spare seat

It’s selfish behaviour, they should be using headphones.

Awful parenting is bringing your children up to be awful adults. Yes of course there are worse things happening in the world, but this doesn’t mean we can all behave appallingly just because someone somewhere is behaving worse. These people are basically teaching their kids it is fine not to consider others, which isn’t a good foundation for the rest of their lives. Manners, consideration and courtesy are extremely important for their relationships, careers, and society. Just because some aren’t evolved enough to appreciate this, it doesn’t mean you should lower your own standards.

@faith777 she asked a question, that’s the opposite of being judgemental. You however just judged her.

definetly agree they should be considerate to others and turn the volume down or wear earphones
a few years ago i had my train journey ruined by four adults who thought 8 am was a resonable time to start drinking alcohol on our train from Glagow to Manchester obviously thought they were on a night out and didnt care if there were kids in the carraige. the ticket inspector never said a word when they got a bit loud through the amount they drunk.

@sulflower no not at all. When ds has reached the point that only a screen or device will keep him quiet he uses headphones or has it on silent.

I do think it's inconsiderate but there's lots of things I find inconsiderate or annoying, luckily I don't start a thread on each on like some.

I personally find posts like this really useful, as they help to give those who are prepared to listen a good flavour of what is, and isn't, acceptable behaviour by most people's standards. Yet it's also fascinating to read the opinions of the minority, often coming across with an attitude of entitlement (my rights! Stuff everyone else's) who choose to totally ignore the perfectly reasonable sentiments of the thinking majority.

I might be wrong, but I think people who allow their children to do things like this just don't know how to behave on public transport due to driving everywhere or having been driven everywhere.

I grew up using buses and having rules of how you behave (sit on your bottom, offer your seat to those less able to stand, being courteous to the driver etc) taught to me by my mum as we travelled on said buses and I've taught my son the same way.

We all done this and sometimes it is nice to ignore this. If you have children you will understand this

We have not all done this.

I travel with my kids regularly, including flying to and from Australia once a year. It isn’t easy but that’s on me, not on my fellow travellers.

My kids know the rule ‘no headphones, no sound’ and have done since they were tiny. My then 18-month-old headphone hater did all of Singapore to London sleep free, watching the Gruffalo on a loop with no sound. The short-lived moaning was better for the other passengers than 14 hours of tinny electronic noise that can affect some people really badly.

I’m not an amazing parent by any stretch. This is pretty basic stuff.