AIBU to think that this is awful parenting?

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On a train journey that’s around 2.5hrs, start to finish. Family with three kids behind me who are simultaneously using devices to play lots of music and games out loud - including the Dad, who is actively showing noisy videos to a disinterested child! Mum is ignoring all the kids despite them turning the sound up constantly.

AIBU to think it is crap parenting to let your kids disturb everyone else and it teaches them that their wants always trump everyone else’s??

It's not awful parenting. It's just totally inconsiderate to the people around them. I'm always shocked by people sitting on buses or trains, watching something on their phone without headphones on! It's one of the weirdest aspects of modern culture.

I agree with you - it’s rude and inconsiderate of them to allow the kids’ devices to be played out loud instead of using earphones. The tinny racket would do my tits in and I’m easy going and not generally noise sensitive at all.

It is poor parenting. Of course it is. Use devices if you like but don’t subject everyone to them ffs.

you think this is AWFUL parenting..... really??

I think it's pretty lazy parenting. If you do insist on shoving an electronic gadget in your kids face the moment they leave the house, please use headphones!

It’s inconsiderate to other people but not necessarily bad parenting. People need to stop silently seeti g and pipe up or move away from the carriage.

Not wanting to hyperbole, awful parenting in my book is things like sexual or physical abuse, parents who favour their addiction above their children etc. I wouldn’t put in using electronic devices loudly on a train with being an awful parent. Most other things are about choice and parenting differently.

Yep, awful parenting and rude as hell.

This is why headphones were invented. No one no matter what age should be playing music/noises in a public place.

Just because they want to listen to that, doesn't mean the whole train does.

It is awful parenting to teach your children that they don't need to respect other people.

Okay I think it’s fairly unanimous that IABU to use ‘awful’ - humble pie being eaten!

I asked them if they wouldn’t mind turning the volume down, as I could still hear it through my headphones. The dad told me that the kids would “just turn it back up again”...

But instead of getting riled I am taking on board the IABUs and trying to be zen! Thanks for honest views everyone. Won’t let it spoil the joy of travelling alone

It’s vile, antisocial behaviour. It’s absolutely awful parenting. As if people need to be told that it’s not on! Assuming other people want to listen to your godawful music/video clips is selfish: these are the sort of people who park in disabled bays, and leave their litter at the beach. Sadly, they also tend not to be open to being told they’re being U. I feel for you OP.

Well, from the replies on here, I now know why children are sent by their parents to push past me onto the bus, put their feet on the seats, throw rubbish on the floor of the bus and listen to loud music on their phones.
All their parents need to do is make sure they are not belittled.
I can 'choose' to 'parent differently' and allow behaviour that upsets absolutely everyone - except my children.
As another poster said (the only one who sees the problem) - the other passengers are indeed all free turn the volume up on their devices until, eventually, no one at all can hear and we all go deaf.
I always thought that 'parenting' was about being proud of the people your children grow up to be.
Perhaps the man who told his daughter to run past me into Specsavers thinks she will grow up to be 'clever like that'
Perhaps the woman who told her school age child to push through and sit on the priority seats thinks he will grow up to be a go getter?
What a world!

Yanbu
Play a few songs from Avenge sevenfold, Slipknot, Rammstein, Marilyn Manson etc 'forgetting' to put your head phones on
And sing a long shout Motherfucker etc really loudly.

It is poor parenting - - it’s rude and inconsiderate whether it be on public transport or in a restaurant. By all means use the devices to occupy the DC’s but either on silent or with headphones.

If I was on the train I would be mentioning it repeatedly until they reduced the noise.

But your not being unreasonable! You’re right! I’m absolutely not a screen hater but this is why headphones were invented. The response of the father of ‘they’ll just turn it back up again’ tells you everything you need to know (eg. he doesn’t care and he’s taught his kids the same). This both a) inconveniences people now and b) won’t serve his children well in the future. That’s pretty crap parenting I think - but it’s obviously very subjective!

yeah, it's shit and inconsiderate parenting. It was a useless and lazy reply to say they would turn it up again. He should taking the bloody devices off them. I hate all these helpless parents who can't control their kids.

Birdsgottafly I don't know, perhaps you are right, but in my experience of my 3 kids, they do enjoy having parents chat, read and play with them in a low key kind of way when they are stuck sitting in one place for more than a short time.

Of course they don't need constant attention, but if they are stuck in a seat on a train, they tend to be amused by some small thing that a parent does with them. My kids were little before the advent of phones and tablets, and I knew what kind of things appealed to each of them at different ages.

When you are on a train or plane, or sitting in a restaurant is when they often need a bit of attention to keep them from getting bored and restless. When they are home, or playing with friends or at the park, benign neglect is great.

It’s teaching the kids to be rude and inconsiderate. I really hate it when parents do this, the kids will grow up into rude and inconsiderate adults too.

Complain to the staff, the benefit of travelling 1st class is you actually see staff members regularly.

Yes it's shit parenting, however, as these threads always show, there's a lot of people out there who are either doing it themselves or let their children annoy all and sundry.

Yes it is awful parenting. I always have a bag with books, crayons, colouring in books, playing cards and some other small toys AND a tablet. If the tablet is used in public(rarely so far, only once on a flight) then headphones have to be used. It is so sad to see families only interactions with each other being done via screens.

The alternative might be restless irritable children stuck on a hot train with nothing to distract them. Devices might be a necessary evil in this instance

There are other things children can do to entertain themselves other than devices.

Ugh. All of the bitchy parent/kid moaning posts are getting a bit much

Good. Maybe people have finally had enough of some peoples selfish, ineffectual shitty parenting.

Course it's awful parenting - and it sounds like torture.

These threads are judgy and horrible. The lack of support for other parents on what is a parenting website always astounds me.

Could you not suggest he tells them to turn it down if they do
He has already made it clear that he cannot control them and that they will turn it up again. If he turns it down again they will turn it up again.

He should be taking the bloody devices off them
Perhaps the parents know or fear that this will lead to fighting, screaming, tantrums and the children then running round the train. We have no idea how easy or difficult it is to get all three children sitting still on the train. Since the parents cannot exactly go back in time and instill perfect behaviour then for that particular journey the parents may we’ll feel this is the best they can do. Headphones would have been great but perhaps they didn’t have them with them.

‘Parenting their children’ could well have led to screaming and shouting which would have led to a thread about the screaming and shouting children on the train.