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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to start a thread in praise of our lovely Mils?

90 replies

LegallyBronde · 27/07/2018 16:31

I know not everyone has a lovely one. I know many will have neglectful/abusive/irritating/rude and overbearing ones but I wanted to start a nice thread for those of us lucky enough to have great ILS. Obviously I will start Grin

My MIL raised a kind and respectful man.
She embraced being a GP to DC1 who is not her biological DGC and fiercely corrects anyone who suggests she is not his "real Gran". All DGC are treated equally I believe she genuinely loves the bones of them all.
She tells me I am smart/kind/beautiful.
Buys me thoughtful gifts.
Tells DH he is lucky to have me WinkGrin

With all the IL conflict/bashing/whatever threads I was feeling pretty lucky. Love the woman to bits.

With all the wonderful, strong, kind, smart women in the world it stands to reason there are some awesome MILs out there. So AIBU to start a thread so we can praise our lovely Mils?

OP posts:
tryagainsardines · 27/07/2018 16:32

Yes

Original poster
LegallyBronde · 27/07/2018 16:38

I refuse to believe all women turn batshit crazy when their son gets married tryagainsardines. Smile

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 27/07/2018 16:41

My MIL is absolutely lovely. She loved her previous DIL and was very sad when she and DH divorced but has welcomed me with open arms. We greatly enjoy going to gardens and garden centres together without the men, she is witty and thoughtful and fun.

She keeps her grumps and gripes for DH, as is right and proper. Love her to bits.

Nichelette · 27/07/2018 16:42

I'm with you, mine are very lovely and I know I'm very lucky to have them :)

PaulRuddislush · 27/07/2018 16:44

My mil just gave me £100 because I'm meeting friends for a curry tonight "the wines on her" apparently. She's a legend. I love her.

ScreamingValenta · 27/07/2018 16:47

YANBU. I get on really well with my MIL. She's a lovely person.

DroningOn · 27/07/2018 16:47

My MIL is a million times better than my own mother. She's attentive, caring, interested, good fun compared to my own mothers complete apathy to her grandkids, self-pitying attitude to the hand life has dealt her (albeit mostly her own fault) and entitled expectations she has about moving in with us in her future years for me to be her carer - coz that's what children do for their parents!

I'd happily never see my own mother ever again and we'd be a blissful 1 granny family!

steppemum · 27/07/2018 16:50

I've never had a MIL, she died before I met dh.
But she and FIL raised a lovely man, who I adore. FIL has always been very supportive and kind, despite the fact he and I did not share a language in the beginning at all, and it was a shock to his very conservative family to have a foreigner marrying in.

I now speak his language, but he really struggles to understand me on the phone. Despite this, if he knows dh is away for work, he calls, from another country to say hi, and check I am OK on my own with kids.

FIL remarried, and stepMIL was sweet and kind to my dcs, we didn't see her much, but she was a nice lady and wouldn't dreamed of interfering.

Andro · 27/07/2018 16:53

Mine is awesome! She knew me long before I started dating her son because I'd been friends with her daughter for years, when I started dating her son she was very clear to him that she expected appropriate behaviour Grin.

Our family have been through hell and stayed close emotionally (if not geographically - PiL moved to Aus several years ago). One steroid induced period of insanity aside, she has been amazing and I love her dearly (FiL too, I won the in-law lottery!).

Nuffaluff · 27/07/2018 16:57

Yanbu
My wonderful mil died this year and I miss her so much. She was in her early eighties, and had a horrible illness that took her quite quickly.
She was always welcoming to me, adored our children and was young at heart. She was very generous too in many ways.
Such a lovely lady.

Flippetydip · 27/07/2018 16:58

Mine's not terrible either. I have utmost respect for her raising my DH to be kind, respectful and lovely, I respect for having raised three boys on her own. She buys me books and has never bought me one I didn't like, which tells me she knows me. I have a lot in common with her, more than with my own mum I think, which saddens me a bit.

That says she buys a lot of plastic crap for the kids and is overly sentimental and definitely plays on the "anxious old lady" bit but hey ho, you can't have everything

ajandjjmum · 27/07/2018 17:01

It's lovely to read the stories of what lovely MIL you have - and how you appreciate them. Only a bit jealous! Envy

QueenofmyPrinces · 27/07/2018 17:02

My MIL died twelve months after DH and I got married. We’d had our first baby and he was only three months old when she died and she only ever got to hold him once which was the day he was born.

She was an absolutely amazing woman, I thought she was wonderful. She was so caring and funny and she and I used to go out a lot just the two of us.

I was devastated when she died and I gave a speech at her funeral.

It upsets me so much that my two sons will never know what an amazing granny they could have had in their lives.

WarPigeon · 27/07/2018 17:02

Mines awesome, she did bring me some homemade pottery the other week though that looked like roadkill...... or a jobby...

By MN standards is that infraction enough to NC her ?

LlamaPyjamas · 27/07/2018 17:03

My ex MIL was amazing. I have a severe dairy allergy and she would cook for me and buy special free from biscuits. She bought me a £200 pair of boots one Christmas and was always so generous. My mum doesn’t drive so MIL used to pick her up and take her to the bingo. She would say how lucky she was to have such a lovely new daughter. When her son dumped me she cried real tears.

My current MIL is an evil witch who thinks I stole her son from her, but that’s another story!

MyFavouritePlace · 27/07/2018 17:07

I feel very fortunate as my in laws are lovely. They're very nice to me and our 2DC I can honestly say that I love them. My family are equally nice to my DH.

Pebblesandfriends · 27/07/2018 17:08

Mine is amazing. Doesn't interfere, takes it well when I ask her to stop doing something, she pops into help clean if she sees we are overwhelmed and helps out with childcare. In the early days after having the baby she would pay for my haircuts when I couldn't afford it, and is generally ace.

Outedsochanged · 27/07/2018 17:11

My MIL is lovely, she lives abroad but visits when she can (and will drop everything if we need her) reminds her son to book flights to take the kids over every year to give me a break for a week. It's not that she doesn't want to see me but never got similar from her MIL and knows that a bit of time to yourself is bliss! I do go over on another visit every year too🤗

VelociraptorRex · 27/07/2018 17:16

I have a lovely MIL, she's quite elderly now and can't look after DS the way she would love to, but she raised an amazing man who is a credit to her, and she's an utter sweetheart. I won't say that sometimes she doesn't do my head in, but that's because she "doesn't want to be a burden" rather than anything awful! I'm very lucky to have her Smile

Aozora13 · 27/07/2018 17:16

My late MIL was an absolute cow bag. I was really disappointed about this tho because I’d previously got on really well with my ex’s mum, and my own mum and her MIL are really close. In fact they probably get on better than my dad does with his own mum! I just sort of thought that MILs were a good thing. Sadly DH’s mum proved me wrong

TheShapeOfEwe · 27/07/2018 17:16

I adore mine. She's such a kind and generous person - I really feel like she cares about and is interested in me seperately from me just being married to her son. And she's so thoughtful.

StealthPolarBear · 27/07/2018 17:17

I have one :)

MulderitsmeX · 27/07/2018 17:19

My MIL is currently watching DS whilst I nap (and MN) she is wonderful!

Duskqueen · 27/07/2018 17:20

I love my MIL, she is amazing. She is great with my DC, was there for both births and very supportive.

TicketyBoo83 · 27/07/2018 17:20

Both my MIL and my FIL are amazing people! ❤️

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