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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to start a thread in praise of our lovely Mils?

90 replies

LegallyBronde · 27/07/2018 16:31

I know not everyone has a lovely one. I know many will have neglectful/abusive/irritating/rude and overbearing ones but I wanted to start a nice thread for those of us lucky enough to have great ILS. Obviously I will start

My MIL raised a kind and respectful man.
She embraced being a GP to DC1 who is not her biological DGC and fiercely corrects anyone who suggests she is not his "real Gran". All DGC are treated equally I believe she genuinely loves the bones of them all.
She tells me I am smart/kind/beautiful.
Buys me thoughtful gifts.
Tells DH he is lucky to have me

With all the IL conflict/bashing/whatever threads I was feeling pretty lucky. Love the woman to bits.

With all the wonderful, strong, kind, smart women in the world it stands to reason there are some awesome MILs out there. So AIBU to start a thread so we can praise our lovely Mils?

OP posts:

Wishiwasonholiday1 · 27/07/2018 19:29

Mine is amazing, she lives a few hours away and whenever we visit we always go for coffee together without kids, DH and FIL, so we can have a catch up on our own.
She always so supportive of everything we do, so is FIL and they always offer to have children in the holidays for a week. Love them both.

BunsOfAnarchy · 27/07/2018 19:36

Finally! A wonderful MIL thread!
Mine was the absolute best. She would tell me her deepest secrets and treated me as though i was her own daughter. We would always have a laugh together and she would always wanna feed me. She passed in 2016. God i miss her.
I had a baby this year and miss her terribly. When i fell pregnant last year the rest of the family were excited...or so i thought. During my pregnancy id pop over weekly to see fil and sil would never ask me if i even wanted a glass of water, never asked me how i was or how baby was...i once had to rush to the loo to be sick and came back in to her and bil giggling thinking my HG was funny (theyre both living at home at over 40, so its not like theyre kids!).
Rest of husbands family are complete twats as u can see and constantly hiding behind the excuse of "oh if mum was still here we would do XYZ for you and the baby" rather than actually taking the reign and doing things themselves.

I really really miss mil. Hubby is a testament to her, he was raised incredibly well. He is an incredible father to our daughter because of her.

AnnabelleLecter · 27/07/2018 19:39

Mine is lovely. DH reckons she could be evil when he was growing up. Really strict standards and a disciplinarian. She's ridiculously soft with DD.
I just can't see it, she must have improved with age as she is amazing.

CoalTit · 27/07/2018 19:41

So glad you started this thread, OP.
My father in law is a great grandfather and very generous, but it's my mother in law who really makes me feel I hit the in-law jackpot. She's a very high achiever and hard worker, but she's also cuddly and kind and easy to love.

Herewegoagain01 · 27/07/2018 19:44

It’s taken me a while to warm to my mil, and we haven’t always been close. But a few things have happened and she’s really been amazing, very supportive and adores her DGC’s. Couldn’t ask for a better mil

Mehaveit · 27/07/2018 19:44

Mine is bat shit but her heart's in the right place. She loves DH, me and the kids so much and since FIL left her we've become really close and it's brought her even closer into our family.

CommonFishDiseases · 27/07/2018 19:46

This thread is really inspiring me about the kind of MIL I hope to be in the future.

Also slightly envious of PPs

LoveInTokyo · 27/07/2018 19:47

Mine is very sweet and very shy. I feel like I’m only just getting to know her after nearly 10 years. She invites me to have dinner and stay at their house when my husband is working away in case I don’t want to be alone.

hiacynthia · 27/07/2018 19:48

Mine is one of the kindest and wisest people I know

LovelyBath77 · 27/07/2018 19:48

My MIL is important to me as I had a difficult relationship with my own mother growing up. MIL gets it as she had similar with her mum.

Before she even met me she let me and DH to be stay in their cottage while away and stocked it up with nice M and S food for us! And has always been kind and never judgemental and dismissive like my own would be.

So it's been really nice as in laws are almost like the parents I never had.

SnuggyBuggy · 27/07/2018 19:50

My MIL does an amazing roast dinner, didn't say a single irritating thing when I was pregnant and is a wonderful grandma.

GreyCloudsToday · 27/07/2018 19:52

Haha - same here Lookingforadvice123 MIL is great but when the kids are around "Nanny" is a nightmare!!

DisneyMice · 27/07/2018 19:54

YANBU

Mine is great. I wish DH was more obvious in his appreciation of her.
She is a fabulous mother to her boys and us DILs.
She lives 100 miles away, is supportive of everything we do, comes up to stay when hubby is away to help with DS, asks about me and how I'm getting on.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 27/07/2018 19:57

I don’t have a mother in law, but my mum’s mother in law figure was awesome.

She(A) is actually the mother of my father’s first wife (N). After my dad and N divorced, my dad kept in touch with A and used to visit. Then he met my mum, and had me. Although A had four biological grandchildren, including my half sibling, I never felt left out. We all got equal Christmas presents, she introduced me to people as her grandchild, even if none of the others were around.

She used to cook me dinner every other week whilst I was at uni, always lasagne, salad, garlic bread, then apple crumble and ice cream.

She was lovely to my mum, and to me, and we were both very sad when she died. For someone who had every reason to dislike us, she was lovely.

SharronNeedles · 27/07/2018 20:01

My ILs are great! They annoy the hell out of me at times but so does my DM ...so does my DH!
They're witty, theyre intelligent, they listen to me, they love our son, they love DH.

tattyheadsmum · 27/07/2018 20:01

I love mine too. She's currently undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy for a brain tumour (after surgery) and is utterly uncomplaining and stoic. Prognosis isn't great - probably a year at most - and I'll be devastated when it happens.

Chattycat78 · 27/07/2018 20:05

Happy to see this thread. Mine is lovely too. She sometimes speaks before thinking but no one is perfect! She and FiL are amazingly helpful, great with our children, go out of their way massively to think of others and make people happy. This is especially important to me because my own parents are dead.

I hope I’m Like her when my boys get married.

BlueTears · 27/07/2018 20:12

My mil is a nice woman. We are VERY different and our lives aren't really in sync at all but I accept we're different and we both love DH and DC and I do spend time alone with her but I find it difficult because of how different we are. We see in laws at least once a week.
She is a good woman though and does her best.

Shampooeeee · 27/07/2018 20:13

My ex mil was amazing. She was really kind and generous with a wicked sense of humour. She was a total homebody and loved cooking and looking after us kids. Yet she still put herself out of her comfort zone to go on a big trip every year and explore the world.
She was always very well turned out. I will never forget when they came to visit and I was working in a chip shop. They picked me up from work and even though I was sweaty and seriously greasy, she insisted on giving me a massive hug and telling me how proud she was that I’d found a job in difficult circumstances.
She would find ways to be generous without imposing, eg she offered to cook dinner and bought a whole large fish and also bought a big platter to serve it, because she knew we didn’t have one.
I once misread the train timetable and got myself and a friend stranded nearish to where they lived. I called her and she drove for an hour late at night to pick us up. She really treated me like another one of her kids and I felt totally at home.
Ex fil was also lovely, stocked the fridge with my favourite beers, always made time to talk to me about shared interests etc.
God, I miss them so much!
I like to think of them often to remind myself how in laws should be. My new in laws aren’t terrible but they aren’t very welcoming and can be quite unkind and thoughtless sometimes.

sickmumma · 27/07/2018 20:49

My MiL and FIL are amazing! Always there if we need them, involved with the kids but don't intrude, we see them at least once a week and she is still very close to DH and I hope me and my boys have the same type of relationship.

She says I am the daughter she never had, she will occasionally treat me to little bits when she's out and about if she sees something and thinks of me, very comfortable to just go out with her alone for trips into town and she's good fun! FIL is DH step dad and he is amazing with DH and the kids are 100% his grandchildren even though not blood related, he absolutely dotes in them and I know he would do anything for us and them and since having the kids my love for them has just grown as they have been such fab grandparents to our babies!

My own mum is a bit useless, she means well but can barely look after herself, my dad is also a fab grandad and very involved so we are very lucky to have lots of fab family around us! A plus of having the children young is the fact they are still young enough (early 50's) to run round after the children still and hopefully see them well into adulthood and their own children too!!

itswinetime · 27/07/2018 20:54

She's not my Mil but she's my grandma and she's amazing. Even though my parents are divorced she still checks on my mum they go out for lunch, shopping ect. I'm sure she wasn't perfect (I doubt mum was the dream DIL either ) but they have a really great relationship despite what could have been difficult circumstances! She's also a fab gran

Original poster

LegallyBronde · 27/07/2018 21:14

It was never meant to be a smug thread at all. I have loved hearing all the positive stories of women supporting each other. I certainly don't judge others who have issues with their in-laws, they have my sympathies. My own family has a few wanna-be matriachs so I understand the problem.

OP posts:

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 27/07/2018 21:21

My mil is a loon but my gmil who was more like a mother to DH was a lovely person. She bought most of Yorkshire chocolate at Easter, always gave me the same amount of money for my birthday as DH, loved my children and was always slipping me £20 each for them to buy clothes. She was like a mother to me when I lost mine.

scarlettoftheseas · 27/07/2018 21:41

Adore my mil, she's one of my favourite people in the world. DH has a big family and she's definitely the 'powerful family matriarch' keeping them all in line! She's very witty, very loving and very protective. Would drop everything to help those she cares about. She does tend to be blunt but you're usually glad in hindsight, ha!
Notorious gossip though. We call her Mystic Meg/The Oracle sometimes (she knows) because she always knows what's going on!!

Oh and makes a great cuppa too and fantastic grandmother. I was a bit scared of her at first because she's got a big personality and a known reputation, whilst I was the new poor girlfriend of her divorced beloved son.... but luckily we quickly broke the ice by having the same dark humour

hellololly · 27/07/2018 22:12

I have 3 MILs and I love them all. They're all brilliant in different ways.

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